Shiny Eyes and White Lies
by somebody's secret
Summary: Can one night change every preconceived notion that filled their stubborn heads?
1. One Night

You look at me curiously behind those black framed glasses, as if you're evaluating me, before you stand up from the couch that we're both sitting on. Your eyes trail down my jawline, down my chest, and to my lap where my hands are nervously fiddling with one another as if the mere act alone could ease the tension in the room. I know my hands are sweating like crazy, quite frankly I'm sure you would be able to see the wet marks on my pants if I were wearing jeans and not my black slacks. But that's the least of my worries right now. My tongue prods against my cheek before running over my teeth, in a vain attempt to moisten my dry mouth; it seems as if all the moisture in my mouth had been sent to my palms, making it nearly impossible to speak. It truly is a disturbing sense, feeling as if your mouth is filled with cotton. I chew at the inside of my cheek momentarily as I feel the cold trickle of sweat run down my left palm before it penetrates my dark slacks and soaks through the small pores, sticking against my rapidly moistening thigh. I glance down at my hands to make sure that they aren't actually immersed in a bucket of water before looking back up to you, and just as quickly as your eyes were on me, they're gone.

I can see your mind whirling around hundreds of thoughts at once. All those little what ifs or is this even possible, maybe you're even beginning to become curious. Because the truth is, we never talked about this. Your eyes meet mine once more as both of your delicate hands reach up to the top of your blouse. Methodically, almost seamlessly, you pop off the first bottom before your fingers slide down to the next. You repeat the process until I'm left staring at your gorgeous, flawless, pale skin. I bite back the urge to laugh when I notice your light blue bra which doesn't match your darker blouse but I resist the urge; I'm sure it's been driving you crazy all day with the way you've been tugging at the corners of your blouse ever since that intern spilled coffee on you. You're anal in that sense; everything has to match perfectly in your own sense of harmony. But the small chuckle in the back of my throat is immediately diminished as you quirk an eyebrow at me, no doubt questioning my grin, before sliding the blouse off of your shoulders. You hold the blouse out in front of you and just as methodically as you unbuttoned the blouse, you straighten it out, as if removing the invisible wrinkles. Once you seem satisfied that the blouse was not wrinkled from its removal, you lay it out gently over the back of the couch.

You purse your lips briefly as you look me over once more and I admire the way your lips lighten at the corners while the plump center turns a darker shade of red before your lips smooth out into a seamless line, revealing absolutely no emotion. I wonder how it's even possible for you to look so detached while you're undressing for me. Usually people look a bit more, dare I say, enthusiastic? I'm not saying that I'm something special or even remotely significant but this seems more like a business deal than...

"One night," You state very clearly, immediately interrupting my train of thought, as our eyes meet. Your words don't waver or even hold a hint of hesitation. A part of me begins to wonder if it's too late to back out but then your hands are at the side of your tight pencil skirt, tugging down the zipper. And once your creamy smooth thighs are revealed, all rational thought leaves my mind as my eyes greedily take in the supple flesh and black garter set.

"One night," I confirm even though I know you left no room for discussion. For some reason, my voice sounds foreign, as if it wasn't really me speaking. I bite the inside of my cheek slightly, easily pinching the flesh before releasing my hold; okay this isn't just another one of those dreams. You lay your skirt across the back of your couch and smooth out some more invisible wrinkles before turning back to me. I can't help it as my eyes wander back down to your long, lean legs, admiring every inch of them. Hell, I'm not sure if I even removed my eyes from your legs in the first place but I don't think I could ever get enough of seeing you without barriers. There have been quite a few times where I have imagined those legs wrapped around my waist, squeezing my hand, or even resting across my shoulders.

You look at me expectantly, as if somehow I'm supposed to read your mind. But I can't, I'm not a mind reader, and to be honest, I'm afraid of making the wrong move and upsetting you. Because, for all I know, one wrong move could snap you out of whatever the heck you're thinking and make you realize what a huge mistake you're about to make. There's a reason why you only want one night in the first place. And let me tell you, it isn't because you're afraid I'm not good in the sack. We all know you've heard the rumors around the DA's office and the squad room. Hell, I've even been warned about the infamous Detective Benson, of course the poor girl had no clue who I was until about ten seconds later when Elliot called my name.

"Stand up," You command, not ask, let that be clear. You left no room for negotiation but I don't have any objections. I rise up on unsteady knees, leveling myself with you, even though you made it very clear that you're the one in charge here. I subconsciously wipe my sweaty palms across my slacks once more in a vain attempt to dry them off before they are otherwise preoccupied. Your eyes follow me as I rise, and I admire the way you shift your head ever so slightly, allowing your long blonde locks to fall over your shoulder and away from those piercing blue eyes. I wonder if it's a conscious move, as if you're barring your neck for me but I highly doubt that's your intent. I don't bother questioning it any further when I hear your voice break the silence.

"Take off your shirt, Olivia."


	2. Leaving Her

Her body…I don't think there are even words to describe how amazing her body is and yet every inch of her is engrained into my memory. Her long, smooth legs that somehow seemed to be endless. The way her toes curled as her body arched into my practiced touch. Her slender torso that rocked against me as I gripped her narrowing waist line.

I finally open up my eyes and look up at the white ceiling above me; definitely not my room. I still had those cheap, falling off popcorn ceilings while she had smooth white plastered ceilings. I focus in on the crystal chandelier in the center of the room, something I hadn't noticed the night before, then again I don't think I really noticed anything while she was dragging me into her bedroom.

_She tugs on my arm as she leads me down the hallway and away from the living room. A part of me wonders where we're going even though the obvious answer is the bedroom. I initially thought we would just do it on the couch; while she seemed like the formal type, I highly doubted she'd trust me enough to take me to her bed. _

_She pushes open the white paneled door and leads us into the dark room, the soft glow of New York flooding through the long length-wise windows above her bed. She shuts the door softly and turns back to me, her teeth gently tugging at her bottom lip in a way that looks undeniably sexy even though I'm sure that wasn't her intent. And for some reason, I could hear "Let's get it on" playing in my head as if she had just slipped the needle onto the record which I'll admit was partially alarming. _

I feel the bed jostle slightly as she rolls onto her side, facing me now. I can see her out of the corner of my eye but her eyes are still closed and she's surely in a deep slumber considering the workout that she experienced just a few hours prior. There's no clock in the room which surprises me; she seems like the type to have a dozen different clocks just to make sure that she wakes up in time for work considering she's never even a second late. Hell, half the time she beats me to a crime scene even though there's no reason for her to go to the scenes.

I glance around at the deep grey walls, admiring her choice of color. In my mind, I had always imagined her in a cream colored room but the grey definitely gave her an underlying layer of mystery. Much like the walls, her sheets were grey as well, only a hint darker. I wasn't surprised to see the handful of dark grey pillows accentuated with a few white ones set perfectly in between the darker grey ones, contrasting beautifully against the black leather covered headboard.

_I can't help but feel out of place as I stand at the foot of her bed, watching her meticulously pick off the excess pillows from her bed before tossing them carelessly onto the white marble floor. She looks back at me and offers me a small, almost embarrassed smile as she pulls back the covers, all the way to the foot of the bed. _

_I always knew she liked things organized but I had never realized she was this anal. Hopefully I'd be able to break through her perfect appearance and pull out the naughty side that I knew she had. Honestly, I don't think I'd be surprised if she was into dirty talk and maybe a little bondage. _

_Once everything seems to be in its place, she turns back to me. Without making eye contact, she unhooks her bra and unabashedly removes it from her chest before walking in front of me in order to set it down on the black leather rectangular seat that rested on top of layered grey and black rugs. I swallow roughly as I watch her breasts bounce subtly as she crosses the room. Damn, I don't think I had ever seen such perfect specimens. Her breasts were so deliciously round and firm with nipples that were a deeper shade of red than I had expected. Everything about her was driving me crazy. _

A quiet, almost unrecognizable sound comes from her, but luckily I had grown very familiar with all the sounds that her mouth could make. I prop myself up slightly and look toward her sleeping form. God, she's gorgeous. Her long blonde locks are splayed out across the pillow, one arm curled underneath her head while the other hand is laid out in front of her. A part of me is disappointed that the covers seem to be so perfectly wrapped around her chest, beneath her arms, much like you would see in the movies. It managed to obstruct one of my newfound favorite views.

As I admire her, I have to force myself to resist the urge to touch her beautiful face. She looks so peaceful right now, as if there isn't a single worry in the world. I must admit, I love her like this. I certainly loved her writhing underneath me, touching me, moaning my name, ordering me around, and even riding me but this was a sight I hadn't expected.

_Her chest was rapidly rising and falling along with mine as we lay next to each other, both desperate to catch our breath from round seven—or was it eight? Hell, I lost count the moment I realized how flexible she was. Oh the things she could do between the sheets would make a porn star blush. She was certainly a lot more risqué than I had initially thought but I couldn't care less. Her body was temple that I didn't mind worshipping every inch of. _

_Once my own breath seems to even out, I look over to her, surprised to see that she's turned away from. I whisper her name softly but she doesn't respond so I can only assume she's fast asleep. I hadn't expected her to fall asleep so quickly. I was fully prepared for her to thank me and hand me my clothes before tossing me out of the door. I could see it now, a half-naked detective of the NYPD hopping around awkwardly in the hallway, trying to put on her pants while covering up her torso with her shirt. _

_Then again, I think Alex warmed up to me a bit once she realized that I could elicit screams from her loud enough to wake her neighbors—if she had any—with my tongue. If I remember correctly, she called me quite a few different names including a few deities. _

And that's how I arrived to this questionable moment in time. I'm still in her bed, next to her, admiring her angelic face. I know I should've left but I couldn't manage to pull myself away from her. _One night_. Her words echo in my head, followed by my agreement. One night. I look up to the light beginning to spill into her room which confirms that it's around six am. So I guess our one night is over. Then again we only stopped our activities a few hours ago so are we still in that one night time frame?

I curse myself silently at my desperate attempt to make this last longer. She made it clear that she wanted one night and I had agreed to those conditions. I can't help but wonder what would've happened if I told her I wanted more than one night. It's not like I wanted a lifetime with her; I'm certainly not going to get down on one knee for her—although I did get down on two for her quite a few times earlier.

But at any rate, our night, as she so loosely defined it, is over. I carefully remove myself from her bed and pul the covers back up so that they look somewhat neat. I could just imagine her waking up and hating me if she found the sheets crumpled around the foot of the bed, much like they were as we tossed, turned, and rolled in them earlier. I don't bother sparing her another glance as I gather my things because I know it's only going to make leaving her perfect body harder. Okay, maybe I shouldn't refer to her as just a body but I don't think I'm ever going to find another woman who looks as aesthetically pleasing as her. Every inch of her is perfectly sculpted as if Michelangelo chiseled her himself.

I pull on my slacks which were neatly folded next to Alex's bra and underwear on the leather seat—clearly her doing. I snap my bra in place as I look around curiously for my shirt before remembering that it's still resting on the back of the couch alongside her clothes.

"Thanks," I hear her mumble as I turn to leave. There was no request for me to stay longer, just a thanks for the night of great sex. Then again I wasn't really expecting anything more. I nod, as if somehow she could see me doing so, which obviously she couldn't since her glasses were long ago discarded during the ruckus. I shut the bedroom door behind me before hastily grabbing my shirt and leaving her apartment before buttoning up my shirt completely, only one thought on my mind.

I have never wanted more than one night. What the hell is wrong with me?


	3. Distractions

Her eyes are on me, I know they're on me. I can feel them piercing into my skin but I refuse to look up at her. My hand hovers over the paper that I was scribbling on just a few seconds prior but I can't seem to remember what I was writing. I try to reread the words on the paper but I can't focus on anything other than the exposed flesh that I can see out of the corner of my eye. Images of her long legs wrapped around my waist flash through my mind before more prominent images appear of her pale thighs clenching against my face as she tries her best to stay still like I told her to do. A part of me can't help but wonder if she's doing this on purpose, if she's trying to distract me.

I finally give up and drop the pen that was idly resting against my paper back onto my desk. There was absolutely no way that I was going to get any work done with her leaning against my desk with those legs so provocatively on display. I sigh as I close my eyes before opening them again and looking straight in front of me, instantly meeting Elliot's gaze. He raises an eyebrow in a silent question, no doubt asking me what the hell was wrong with me.

I shake my head a few times in response before leaning back in my chair and looking up at the gorgeous blonde stretched out in front of me. She's looking at me as if I'm crazy with one raised eyebrow much like Elliot. "What?" I finally ask as I throw up my hands slightly for emphasis.

I look between the two before Elliot clears his throat and my eyes meet his. "The report, Liv. She asked you for your report." I can feel my cheeks starting to redden as his words process in my mind. Damn Alex and her long legs; I must not have heard a word she said from the moment she leaned up against my desk.

"Oh, uh, yeah," I mutter as I look down at the half empty piece of paper in front of me. I glance back up at Elliot before mumbling, "I haven't finished my report yet." I can see Elliot holding back a chuckle as his lips turn up on the ends and his chest bounces up and down ever so slightly.

"I expect it to be on my desk by the end of the day," Alex states as she pushed off of the corner of my desk and towers in front of me. I hesitantly look up and meet her icy blue eyes piercing me through black frame glasses. "I'll be waiting." And just like that, she elegantly spins on her heels and leaves the room in complete silence except the rhythmic clicking of her heels against the floor.

"Something on your mind, Liv?" Elliot asks me as he follows my line of eye sight which is zoned in on Alex's swaying ass. God, her ass. I mean I absolutely love it when she wears tight little pencil skirts so that I can see the perfect swell of her rear but now that I've seen it without obstruction—well, there's no going back now. It's almost as if I can still feel her smooth skin underneath my hands as I massage those perfect globes.

I don't bother looking away until she turns the corner and I can no longer see her. "Huh?" I ask him as if I had no idea what he was talking about. I know he's not an idiot—hell, he's a detective for a reason—but a girl can still hope, right?

"I didn't see a kick-me sign on Cabot's back or a stain on her ass so do you want to explain why you were staring at her?" I immediately flush, regretting my decision to keep my eyes glued to her until I could no longer see her. Well, not actually; I would never regret checking out her beautiful body. I roll my eyes at him as if the act alone was an answer to his question. "Seriously, Liv. What's up with you two?"

"Nothing," I spit back at him as I look down at the paper on my desk before returning my gaze to him. He's still looking at me as if he knows deep down I want to confess everything to him but I won't. "What? I can't admire her assets? Everyone else does," I reply with a smirk as I gesture around the room. I see two beat cops glance nervously around as they grow quiet; there's no doubt in my mind that they were checking Alex out as well.

"I guess they do say you can look as long as you don't touch," Elliot says as he chuckles at his own joke, as if somehow it was a profound statement. I subconsciously run a hand through my hair and scratch my head slightly as my eyes drop down to the paper in front of me. Don't blush, don't blush, damn it! Stop turning red! "You didn't," He says, his voice laced with complete and utter shock.

I run my hand over my face and exhale deeply, hoping that the red hue on my face will disappear before I remove my hand but I know I'm not that lucky. Instead, I keep my hand in front of my face as I separate my fingers so that I can see him through a small slit. "No," I mumble as I wait for his reaction.

He simply grins. "You're such a liar! You screwed our—"

"Shut up!" I yell at him as my eyes widen and I frantically search the room for any signs that someone overheard Elliot and his loud mouth. He shakes his head back and forth with a huge shit-eating grin. Without a word, he brings his hand up to his mouth and holds his fingers up in a V-shape before flicking his tongue between it. In a flash, my pen connects with his head and he looks at me as if I killed his puppy. "Pervert," I mumble before looking back down at the report that I desperately need to finish before Alex chews me out.

"So is she as bossy in bed as she is around here?" Elliot asks with a smirk. I look at him with an expression that tells him there'd be another pen hitting his head if I had another within arm's reach. He shakes his head before looking down at his desk. I can hear him quietly mimicking what he thinks her voice sounds like, "Harder, no to the right, what are you doing?" I glance at the stapler on the corner of my desk. Hitting him upside the head with a stapler wouldn't hurt that much, would it?


	4. Again

I'm standing in the bathroom down the hall from Alex's office, awkwardly staring at my reflection. I don't know why but for some reason I decided to avoid her door and enter the bathroom instead. I look at my refection, something that almost seems unfamiliar to me. I glance around, looking for any signs that someone else is in the bathroom before returning to my reflection.

There are slightly dark spots under my eyes and I can't resist as I rub the darkened skin, wishing I had some sort of concealer on me. I'm not a huge fan of makeup but it can be extremely useful at times, especially like right now. But why do I even care what I look like?

I drop my gaze to my hands as I tense them up into fists before relaxing them. I already slept with her, why do I care what she thinks of me? Why the hell am I acting like a sixteen year old girl who's going to see the senior football star for the first time? I roll my eyes before looking back up at my reflection. I attempt to smile at the mirror in a vain attempt to at least make myself somewhat attractive but I immediately groan at the face looking back at me.

Screw it. I turn to leave and push open the bathroom door and head straight toward her door. I see a guy in a suit walking toward me as I instantly spin around and return to the bathroom. He's probably staring at me like I'm an idiot but I need the damn file. I return to the bathroom and pick up the file that I had left on the counter of the sink. I pause for a few seconds, mentally calculating how long it would take before the guy disappeared into some room. Once a reasonable amount of time has passed, I open up the door again and head toward Alex's office.

As expected, the door is closed. I think back to my high school English days and I can't help but wonder if the door is some sort of metaphor for her—closed off. I take a deep breath as I raise up my hand and knock twice against the wooden frame. I can hear some shuffling before she calls out to whoever might be at her door, telling them that they can enter.

My hand brushes against the metal handle and I immediately recoil as if I was shocked. I shake my head in an attempt to clear whatever weirdness is going on in my mind before grabbing the handle once more and twisting it.

She doesn't bother looking up from whatever she's doing as I enter her office which gives me time to mentally freak out but also time to examine her in her natural habitat. There's a stack of files to her left, neatly organized and most likely alphabetized. To her right is another stack which is slightly smaller but nonetheless organized much like the other. She has her left hand tangled in her long blonde locks, supporting her head as she looks down intently at a file that she seems to be deeply engrossed in. I almost feel bad interrupting her but she was the one who requested my report even though it appears as if she has enough to go through.

After a short minute, she glances up at me and almost appears shocked to see me. Her left hand immediately drops from her hair as she straightens up and quickly flips the file in front of her closed before shoving it in a drawer on the left hand side of her desk. I eye her curiously before she clears her throat and raises both eyebrows at me.

"The report," I say as I finally take a step toward her and hold out the file. "Although it looks like you have enough to deal with as is," I tell her as I gesture to the stacks of folders on her desk. It gives me a quick second to glance at the other objects on her desk and I feel a twinge of sadness when I don't find any personal knick-knacks lining the hardwood.

She offers me a soft smile as she reaches out and takes the file from my hand, flipping it open and closed as if to check my work. She sets it down on top of the pile to her left before looking back up at me expectantly. I look back at her before glancing behind her, around her, anywhere but at her. "Is that all?" She asks me curiously as she straightens up in her seat.

Oh, so that's why she was looking at me. "Yeah," I reply as I glance around the room once more before turning around. I pause for a second, wondering if I should just tell her that she's been on my mind recently. Instead, I take a step forward and head toward the door.

My hand connects with the cold metal of the door handle at the same instant she calls out to me. "Olivia." I drop my hand from the door knob and take a deep breath before turning around.

She's closer to me than I expected despite hearing her voice right behind me. "Yeah?" I ask almost breathlessly as I try my hardest not to look down her shirt—yes, she is that close to me.

I see her blonde locks shift ever so slightly as her eyes look down to my lips and back up to my eyes. I noticeably swallow and that seems to clue her in on how uncomfortable I'm feeling. She shakes her head before taking a step back. "Thank you for the report."

I know I shouldn't be doing this but I can't help it as I reach out and catch her arm as she tries to turn away from me. "No." I pull her back around to face me and she seems taken aback by my bold move. I feel slightly more confident as her lips part and I hear a soft gasp escape. "What were you really going to say?"

And that one simple question was all it took. Everything happened so quickly I couldn't stop it even if I wanted to—not that I did. She pulls me against her body, connecting our lips a bit too harshly and I can feel her teeth tugging at my bottom lip right away. And then somehow I'm being haphazardly led backwards until I'm awkwardly sitting on the edge of her desk. I cringe slightly as I hear a few pieces of paper fall off of her desk but she doesn't seem to notice—or maybe she just doesn't care.

The last thing I hear is a faint zipping before my eyes shoot open to see a smirk on her face as she shoves my slacks down to my knees before tugging my underwear to the side. I hardly have time to process that mischievous glint in her eye before she drops down to her knees in front of me. And then my eyes clamp shut and I swallow hard, trying my best to hold back my moans as her tongue touches me in ways that I've only been able to dream about.

Damn her. I want to tell her to stop. I want to tell her that we need to talk about this. I want to tell her that I think I lo— "Shit!" I scream out as my right hand shoots off of the table before grasping onto her hair. I'm not sure if I'm urging her to continue or trying to ask her to stop. I'm going to go with the former since I can feel her lips pressing more firmly against me.

My left hand jerks to the side sending more files to the floor as my eyes widen. I'm not supposed to feel like I'm falling… My back connects with the top of her desk in a painful thump and I expect her to stop considering we are now at a rather awkward angle but she doesn't. Instead, I hear a soft chuckle coming from her lips as she pulls my pants and underwear off of me completely before lifting my legs up and settling them on top of her shoulders.

I moan out as the lower half of my head falls back against her desk, the top of my head hanging off of her desk. I desperately try to grip anything on her to steady myself. I can feel her crisp blouse crinkling under my fingers as I cling to her shoulders, then her hair.

Before I can even recognize the coiling in my stomach, I'm spiraling out of control as my breath hitches before calling out her name. I faintly recognize her mouth stilling against me before she's gone completely.

I push my arms backwards in order to prop myself up on her desk so that I can look at her. I wish I hadn't done that. I can see the worry in her eyes as she glances around me, no doubt looking at the mess of papers on the floor. She brings the back of her hand up to her mouth and it stills as she makes eye contact with me. She wearily wipes me off of her lips before dropping her hands and closing her eyes.

I push myself off of her desk and step down on weak legs, swaying slightly before grasping onto the desk once more. I chew my lip out of habit as I pull my clothes back on as if I was a call girl. I can't help but feel a bit used and cheap. She has a way of cutting me at the knees and taking away all of my control. I look up at her as she leans against the wall with her eyes still closed. "Alex—"

"I think it's time for you to go," She interrupts me as she opens up her eyes to meet mine. I can tell that she's dead serious and I hate it. I hate that look in her eyes that tells me what just happened meant nothing to her. I bite down more roughly on my lip until I can taste iron.

"Seriously?" I ask her incredulously as I take a step toward her. It had to stop somewhere. She had no right to do what she did but then again I didn't stop her. No, this is on her; this isn't on me. She's playing games with me while I'm left here picking up the pieces because she leaves me so damn confused. Part of me wants to scream out to the world that I slept with Alex Cabot while another part of me wants to pretend that it never happened. It'd be so much easier if it didn't.

"Don't," She warns me harshly as her jaw tightens and I can see her temple flexing as she grinds her teeth together. "You need to leave." She crossed her arms in front of her chest almost defensively but I know she's trying her best to act as if she's in control of the situation right now.

I shake my head and scoff before dropping my eyes from her face. I clench my fists for a split second before I take a deep breath and walk right past her and out of the room, slamming the door behind me. I can hear the blinds shake from the force of the door as I walk away but I don't care.

She used me. Again.

But I didn't try to stop her.


	5. Alma Mater

I have absolutely no clue what I'm supposed to do about Alex. She tells me one night and then goes around and does whatever the hell that was that she did in her office yesterday. I wearily plop down on my couch and run a hand through my hair as I recline completely against the plush cushions. I just don't understand her. A part of me wants to just laugh it off and assume I was so good in bed she just couldn't get enough of me but we all know that Alex could have anybody she wants.

I flip through a few inane TV shows because I desperately need something to distract me from thinking of her. There's something on about how certain mammals mate for life and I can't help but roll my eyes; humans are definitely not one of those.

Then again, I'm not one to talk. I've probably slept with half the women in New York by now—okay, maybe that's an exaggeration. But there's something so simple about one night stands. It's not like I really have time to dedicate myself to a real relationship so it makes sense that I stick to one night stands. But I can't help but wonder why I want to be in a relationship with Alex. A part of me wants to think that it's just because she's different than any other woman that I've slept with before. Usually they linger after the sex, hoping that I'll cuddle them or make them breakfast come morning. There's a reason why I usually go to their place; it makes for an easier escape. But on the rare occasions that I've allowed a woman to come into my apartment, they always wants more. For some reason, they seem to think that one night of drunk sex could turn into something great.

But they're wrong. There's a reason why they're at a bar and desperate for any attention that they can get. And there's a reason that I smooth talk them without even spending a dime; they're already drunk enough as is. Oh, but Alex. Alex is different. She works with me which should've been my first red flag. Never date a coworker, it'll always turn into a mess but I guess this time it's different. The first time I ever slept with a coworker, he was clingy and desperate. He thought we were something more but now it's the other way around. It appears as if I'm the clingy and desperate one this time. I'm the one that wants more from Alex than she can give and it's killing me a little bit at a time.

I can't help but wonder what gives her the right to use me like she did the other day. She wanted one night and yeah, maybe I wanted more, but she didn't know that. Does she want more as well? Why else would she shove her hand down my pants in her office? My mind throws around dozens of thoughts at once. Could she want more? Before I can even stand up from my couch, there's a knocking on my door. I glance over at the clock in the corner. Who the hell would be here at midnight? I push myself off of the couch and walk over to the door and look through the peep hole.

I unlock the door as fast as I can and allow it to swing open, allowing the drenched blonde to step into my apartment. "Alex," I state as I look at the ADA except for some reason she's soaking wet. I can hear the faint pitter patter of rain in the background but that still doesn't explain why she's wet and at my door so late at night. Before I can question it any further, she steps into my apartment and closes the door behind her.

I watch carefully as she looks me up and down once before reaching for the hem of her wet t-shirt, swiftly peeling it off before tossing it to the side, on my hardwood floor. I glance over at the shirt but I don't care enough about the fact that it's a soaking wet shirt that might just stain my floor. Instead, I look back at her pale, glistening skin. She walks over to me confidently, as if this was a courtroom except she typically wore more clothes when in court.

Thoughts of court are instantly thrown out of my mind as she presses her body up to mine and I can't help but shiver as I feel her cold skin through my thin t-shirt. I flinch slightly when I feel my own shirt begin to stick to my body from her wetness soaking through. "You're wet," I mutter as I mentally slap myself. Could I possibly sound any more stupid?

"You don't know the half of it," Alex replies smoothly as she takes my limp right hand and slips it under her tight, wet jeans. I bite my lip as my fingers come into contact with a warm wetness rather than the cold wetness that I was expecting. Damn, why does she have to be so seductive? Neither of us say anything as she keeps my hand underneath her jeans and walks me backwards until I bump into the arm of my couch. I glance back at the sofa before looking back at her. There's that familiar look; that look that tells me she's about to have her way with me and I'm helpless to stop it.

But not this time. She hastily unzips her jeans and wiggles her way out of them, having difficulty since they were practically glued to her legs from the water. Once they're off, she reaches out for my shirt but before she can reach it, I grab both of her wrists, halting them midair. Her eyes flash to mine for a second and a smirk develops across her lips. Apparently she took this as a challenge rather than an attempt to stop her.

In response, she steps closer to me and presses a thigh against my center and I bite back a moan. No, this isn't going to happen this time. She doesn't have control of me, she won't win this time. I spin us around and she seems surprised as I pin her against the arm of my couch. She looks at me expectantly before she wraps her hands around my wrists and leans backward.

I can't stop myself as I fall on top of her which seemed to be a part of her plan. She uses her feet to push against the arm of the couch so that she can spread out beneath me on the sofa, taking me with her. What is her end game? I immediately release my grip on her wrists and support myself on either side of her so that I'm not crushing her body but it doesn't seem like she minds.

The moment I release her hands, they're on me, tugging my shirt up and around my chest. She firmly tugs at my shirt, not giving up until my arms slip out from under me and I drop down on top of her, giving her enough room to slide my shirt off of my arms before tossing it to the side. She runs her hands down my bare sides before curving her slender fingers around my back, immediately finding the clasp on my bra.

In a flash, she flicks it off and I jerk up, trying to stop her from getting the upper hand which is a mistake. My bra slides off of my breasts and it is instantly replaced with a warm mouth and a skilled hand. "Alex," I whimper out as the blonde slips a thigh between my legs and slowly starts rocking against my center.

Instead of responding, she presses her lips against mine and I can't help but melt into the kiss. It feels different than how we've ever kissed before. She's soft, almost gentle. She sucks my lower lip between hers and tugs lightly before opening up her mouth and claiming more of me. I can feel her teeth nipping at my lips before she slips her tongue into my mouth. God, I want her.

So I give up and drop down onto my elbows, pressing my exposed chest against her bra-clad one. She feels so good underneath me, it's almost indescribable. Her slender frame seems to fit perfectly against me as she presses further into the cushions. I can't help myself as I finally give in and lean down, intent on staking my claim on her but she stops me abruptly with two hands against my shoulders. I look at her in confusion as my eyes flash between hers, trying to read her but it seems as if her expression is blank. I expected to see something, maybe a smug grin but there was nothing. And then her eyebrows furrow slightly before she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, loosening her grip on my shoulders.

I take the opportunity to finally connect my lips to her long exposed neck, sucking at the pounding pulse point that I find there. Her heart is beating far more rapidly than I expected and it only seems to increase as I explore her neck, marring the pale flesh even if it's only temporarily. It feels good to finally stake my claim on her. It feels damn good to know that for once I'm in control even though it was a struggle to get here. I want to ruin her like she's ruined me and I don't want to stop until she's begging me to. Maybe that sounds a bit sadistic but I really don't care at this point; she deserves to suffer like I have.

There's nothing but smooth skin beneath my lips as I run them along her neck, around it, and down her chest. I can feel her shiver as I blow hot air across her hypersensitive flesh. She's trying her best to remain in some form of control but I can tell she's close to losing it. I just need to push a little bit harder.

Without warning, I pull the straps of her bra off of her shoulders and down her long arms, forcing the bra off of them. I don't bother waiting for permission before my lips seek out her hardened nipples, skillfully wrapping around one as I tease the firm peak. She moans—or maybe it's a whimper—but whatever it was, I know she wants this now. She wants me to take what I want and I wouldn't have it any other way. I can feel her finger tips running through my hair, trying to find something to cling to while also encouraging me to continue which I have no problem doing. Her lower half rises off of the couch as I release her breast from my mouth before scraping my teeth across her nipple.

The erratic pumping of her hips against me as I try to hold her down against the couch is intoxicating. Everything about her is intoxicating; she's the ultimate aphrodisiac. Her breath is coming out in rapid, short successions now and it is music to my ears. I quickly prop myself up on my left arm while my right hand heads to where she wants me the most. I don't bother with removing her wet underwear, no doubt from the rain and her excitement. I slip my hand under the thin fabric and I push two fingers between her folds, finding the wetness that she had made apparent to me a few minutes prior.

Her hands slide down my neck and onto my shoulders as she digs her nails into my back. Her grip is painful, which I wasn't expecting. I grit my teeth slightly as I force myself to calm my breathing but the smirk on her face tells me she doesn't want me to calm down. If she wants an angry me, that's what she'll get. I circle my fingers around her entrance before pushing two in. I can feel the friction against her walls as they clamp down at the sudden intrusion and I'm not sure if her body is trying to keep me there or expel me.

But it doesn't matter to me anymore. I push through the tightness, drawing my fingers in and out of her as her nails scrape down my back. I swear she's doing this on purpose. I can hear short pants coming from her mouth as her hips push up against mine and rotate slightly, trying to increase our contact. Everything I'm hearing, every way her body is reacting is telling me that she wants this but her face is an entirely different story. Her eyes are clamped shut and her head is tossed back, digging deeper into the couch. Her eyebrows are furrowed as if she's in pain and her lower lip is pulled between her teeth as she bites down on it.

And then there's that familiar low moan of pleasure which keeps me from stilling my motions to ask if she's okay. She wants this, why else would she show up at my door so late at night? I push my thoughts to the back of my mind as I continue to thrust into her and curl my fingers forward, scraping the spongey flesh that I knew I would find there. Her nails scrape abruptly across my back before they fist up. She wraps her now balled fists around my neck, hooking her elbows against me which causes me to press even closer against her.

I slide my left arm up, lowering my body completely against hers, and weave my fingers between her locks, forcing her head back up to face me. Her eyes are still clamped shut and I can see the twitching every time I curl my fingers in that perfect way that seems to drive her crazy.

I don't want to give her the satisfaction that she's looking for. I want her to suffer; I want to build her up and never quite take her over the edge. She deserves it. But another low whimper makes it clear that this isn't like our typical sex—if you could even classify what we do to each other as normal.

In a last minute attempt to get her to feel something for me, I pull her hair to the side, bringing her lips to mine. I can physically feel her tense up before relaxing into the kiss. She sighs against my lips as I slow my pumping and increase the pressure that I'm applying against her inner walls. Her balled fists finally release and she slides her arms off my neck before placing both of her hands on either side of my head, holding me in place as she finally returns the kiss.

She bites my lower lip and moans out at the same moment her inner walls flutter against my fingers, holding them in place. I pull my lip out from between her teeth before greedily claiming her mouth and silence all the moans and whimpers coming from her. She finally relaxes completely and her body sags down against the couch as she releases a sigh against my lips.

I can't help but smile as I pull away from her lips and look down at her. She meets my gaze and offers me a small smile in return and I swear my heart skips a beat. "God, I needed that," She whispers as she runs a hand through her messy locks and sighs in contentment. My blood runs cold and the smile immediately vanishes from my lips. "Thanks."

"Alex," I whisper in a bit of shock. Is she seriously going to act as if that meant nothing? One night stands—even though we've already been together more than once—don't kiss like that. Nothing about us screamed one night stand!

Before I can piece together all my thoughts and divulge my feelings for her, a loud ringing fills the room. She looks at me curiously for a second before her eyes widen and she pushes against my chest, forcing me off of her. She runs over to her wet jeans and reaches into the pocket before pulling out her phone. "Cabot," She answers as she unabashedly stands in the middle of my living room with nothing but underwear on. "Right now?" She wanders back over to the couch and looks at me for some reason before continuing. "You should've told me you were picking someone up…Okay, I guess not…He just walked in and wants to confess? A deal, right…Give me twenty."

She hangs up and sighs as she drops her phone onto my couch. "I need clothes," She tells me as she picks up her wet jeans and grimaces slightly. Instead of responding, I sit on my couch like an idiot, admiring her body. "Liv," She calls as she stands in front of me and waves a hand in front of my face. "Seriously, I need clothes. That was Elliot and he needs me down at the precinct to make a deal with a suspect."

I can feel myself blushing slightly as I finally make eye contact with her. "Yeah, clothes. Okay," I mutter out as I get up off of my couch and grab my own shirt, shrugging it back on without bothering to put on my bra. I wander into my bedroom and find a pair of jeans that would no doubt be loose on her but it was better than sweatpants.

She plucks the jeans right out of my hands and I'm slightly surprised since I didn't hear her follow me into my bedroom. "A sweatshirt would be great since I don't exactly have a bra," Alex tells me as she shuffles around behind me. I nod more to myself than her as I pull out one of the few sweatshirts that is clean. I turn back to her and stare as she pushes her underwear to the floor before stepping out of it and slipping on my jeans. She looks back up to me and takes the proffered sweatshirt with a slight smile. "They were wet," She clarifies as she glances back to her underwear before pulling on my sweatshirt. I frown a tad as I recognize the logo of my alma mater on her chest. She's out the door before I have time to give her another sweatshirt. Here's to hoping that no one notices that…


	6. White Lies

I walk into the precinct and I can already see that Alex is in the interrogation room with a suspect. I walk over to Elliot and peer over his shoulder before settling in next to him, leaning against the frame of the window. "What do we have?" I ask him as I watch Alex flawlessly walk around the room before leaning against the table to look at the suspect.

"Guy came in admitting to be a part of the gang rape we had two days ago. Apparently he just watched and recorded it but we don't know how true that is. He said he'll turn over the tape and give us names if we let him off," Elliot explains as he finally turns to look at me. "You look like hell."

"Thanks," I respond as I meet his gaze and playfully roll my eyes. "I was about to go to sleep when you called." I turn back to the interrogation room and I can't help but tilt my head slightly to the side as Alex bends over, unconsciously displaying her ass for us.

I hear a muffled chuckle come from Elliot and I raise an eyebrow at him as he covers his mouth. He looks at me as if I'm crazy before laughing again. "You're kidding right? I'm not stupid, Liv."

"Never said you were," I respond as my eyebrows furrow in confusion. What the hell was he talking about? I glance back to Alex just to make sure everything was going okay before turning back to him.

"So what were you doing when I called?" Elliot asks me with a cocked eyebrow. Great, did he see her sweatshirt? I'm pretty sure I can play this off as something else if I try hard enough.

"Watching TV," I reply casually as I shrug. "There was some weird segment about mammals on."

"Mhm," Elliot replies with a knowing smirk. "You know, I always thought Cabot went to Harvard. I wonder why she has a Siena College sweatshirt." I try my best to beat down the blush that's rising on my cheeks as I turn back to the interrogation room, pretending to watch intently. "Really? No response? Are you pissed at me because I interrupted your sexy time with Cabot or are you trying to play dumb?"

"You didn't interrupt anything," I respond a bit too quickly before cursing myself. Way to give it away, Benson.

"She's wearing your clothes. They didn't make me detective for nothing," Elliot replies coyly. "I'd bet my entire salary that she was naked when I called her."

"You'd lose," I whisper quietly before biting my lip. Technically she was still wearing underwear.

"Ah, so you admit to being with her!" Elliot exclaims as if it's the greatest discovery in the world. No shit, Elliot.

"You already knew that," I reply softly as I watch Alex pull out a chair and sit down, rubbing her temple as she listens to all the bullshit that the perp is rattling off.

"So are you two dating now?" I glare at him momentarily before looking around us, making sure that no one else can hear us. "Oh come on, Liv, we're partners! You can tell me."

"We're not," I reply defensively as I copy Alex's motions and rub my own temples. Just talking about this was giving me a headache because I had no clue what we were. It's obvious that we aren't dating—well at least not in the traditional sense. Are we fuck buddies? I mean she tends to just jump on me when she gets the chance but I've never been the one to initiate the contact despite how much I really want to.

"So…" Elliot trails off as he rubs his scruffy chin slightly. "You just have sex? I mean I guess that's fine since you can't get her pregnant or any—"

I immediately punch him in the shoulder before he manages to finish his sentence. "Shut up!" I grit out between clenched teeth. Sometimes he just doesn't know when to stop talking. "It's not even that, El. She just, I don't know. She came over tonight and I have no idea why. The next thing I know she's taking off her clothes. I have no clue what the hell we are," I reply honestly as I press my forehead against the one-way mirror and sigh.

"But you know what you want to be."

My head jerks off of the mirror as I look at him in confusion. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You like her, Liv. It's pretty obvious if you ask me. I saw the way you were looking at her the other day when she was leaning up against your desk. You didn't hear a word she said because you were too busy checking her out!" He chuckles slightly and I open up my mouth to interrupt him but he cuts me off. "If you want to date her, just ask her out."

"I don't want to date her," I reply defensively as I cross my arms over my chest before realizing that I was subconsciously trying to defend myself. "We just had sex. It's not like I even have time for a relationship."

Elliot rests a hand on my shoulder but I don't bother looking at him. Despite how big of a pain in the ass he can be, he knows exactly how to read me. I can tell that he is preparing to give me some big speech about how I am denying it and I am really in love with her. "White lies always introduce others of a darker complexion," Elliot says softly before removing his hand from my shoulder and turning back to the interrogation room.

His words replay over and over again in my mind as I blindly look ahead. Is that what I'm doing? Obviously I'm not convincing him but can I convince myself that we're nothing more than friends? Hell, are we even friends? I'm still stuck in my thoughts as Alex exits the interrogation room and stands next to me.

"Probation, no jail time and he'll give up the names of the three rapists along with the video footage," She tells us even though we should've been listening. I wonder if she knew that we were having an entirely different conversation while observing the interrogation.

I take a deep breath and sigh before responding. "Let's get those names," I say as I turn away from the one-way mirror and finally look at her. She looks tired, I can see it in her eyes. I wonder if it's mental or physical exhaustion that she's suffering from. If she's anything like me, it's both. I glance down at her sweatshirt and she immediately crosses her arms in front of the logo as if she knows what I'm looking at. I turn away from her and enter the interrogation room with Elliot on my tail.

Five minutes later, we have the names of the rapists and the location of the video tape. Alex nods slightly as I exit the interrogation room, shutting the door behind me. I glance back through the mirror as Elliot continues to talk to the guy before looking over at Alex. Her eyes are still fixed on the perp. "Can we talk?" I ask her quietly, hoping that she can hear the plea in my voice.

"Concerning what exactly?" She responds without even looking at me. I can see the tension in her jaw as she clenches her teeth slightly before releasing. There's no doubt in my mind that she knows exactly what I want to talk about.

"Alex, you know what," I reply a bit harshly before closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. I need to stay calm.

"There's nothing to talk about, Detective," She says coolly, still not moving her eyes away from the glass. I wince slightly at the use of my job title rather than my name; she sure does know how to make someone feel cheap. I hear the door open and shut behind me, indicating that Elliot and the perp have left the room, leaving nothing in there for her to look at but she continues to look straight ahead.

"Detective?" I ask a bit incredulously. "So that's what we're going with here?" I can feel my blood boiling as she finally turns to look at me, still looking calm and in control as always.

"I made the rules clear," She tells me as she looks me over once before meeting my eyes again.

"Rules? You broke your own damn rule the moment I walked into your office two days ago!" I shout back at her, probably a bit too loudly but I don't care, no one else is around but us. I can feel my face reddening except this time it isn't from embarrassment. I'm angry with her and I'm seeing red. But the confusing part is that I just want to push her up against the one-way mirror and fuck her into submission.

"I had a momentary lapse of judgement," She replies calmly as if she has no idea what affect her words have on me.

I roll my eyes as I run both of my hands through my hair, gripping at my locks until I can feel the pull against my scalp before releasing my grip. "Twice! You had a lapse of judgement twice!" I repeat for emphasis, hoping to convey just how stupid her excuse sounds.

She pinches the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger as she closes her eyes. She releases her grip and lets out a soft sigh as she looks at me once more. "I am not having this conversation with you right now, Olivia."

"Then when?" I ask her as I throw my hands to the side, emphasizing my frustration. "Obviously we can't do it at your apartment, your office, or even my apartment because we just end up fucking!"

She immediately cringes as she glances around, surreptitiously checking to see if anyone else overhead my words. "Enough," She grits out between clenched teeth as she narrows her eyes at me. "I said one night for a reason."

"Yeah and yet we've done it three times now." I turn around and start walking before I pause a few steps away from her. "It'd do you good to remember who initiated the contact each time," I tell her without turning around. I just need to get out of here and away from her; I can't think straight in her presence. I don't bother waiting for a response as I rush out of the room.

Somehow I wind up in the women's restroom, leaning over the sink as I stare at my reflection. There's something so repulsive about finally looking at myself. I can see the mental and physical exhaustion in my eyes; this whole mess with Alex has clearly taken its toll on me. I twist the hot water knob for the sink, running my hands under the water before I can see the steam rising up from the sink. I quickly flip it to cold water and cup the liquid before bringing it up to my face, splashing water everywhere. I can feel it dripping down my neck and into my shirt as I stare at myself in the mirror.

I repeat the process once more, holding my face in the water as I hold my breath in an attempt to calm myself down. When I finally release my hands, allowing the water to splash into the sink, I'm surprised to see another reflection behind me. Our eyes lock through the mirror and I desperately want to yell at her and tell her to get out.

She doesn't say anything as she walks up behind me and places her hands on my shoulders, forcing me to turn around. I don't bother looking at her as she takes a few steps toward me all while I take the same amount of steps away from her. My back bumps up against the bathroom door unexpectedly and I turn to my side as I watch her reach out and twist the lock on the door.

I close my eyes and tip my head back against the door as her fingers find the zipper of my jeans, immediately pulling it down. "Lapse of judgment number three?" I mockingly ask her, half hoping that she'll stop whatever it is that she's trying to do.

"Oh shut up," She whispers. I crack an eye open and I'm surprised to see a small smile on her lips. My eye immediately shuts again as I feel her cold fingers press against my abdomen and slide lower. Why is she doing this now? Right after we just yelled at each other in the middle of the squad room! I want to stop her. I need to stop her. The moment her fingers press against my core, I reach out and grip her wrist, effectively halting her actions. I open up my eyes and meet her gaze as she studies me. "You need this," She tells me softly but she doesn't make a move to overpower me. "You're stressed out and tensed up like a tightly wound spring. Let me do this for you." I maintain eye contact with her as dozens of thoughts run through my mind but only one thing stands out to me: for once this isn't about her own gratification.

I release my grip on her wrist and let my hands fall limply to my side, closing my eyes once more. Her fingers stay still for a few seconds before she pushes two fingers inside of me, curling them up as much as she can. I try my best to stay quiet as she pushes in and out of me, touching me in all the right places. It only takes a few minutes before I can feel the familiar tingling and coiling build up in my stomach. I press my palms flat against the door in an attempt to stay still as she brings me closer and closer to the edge with each stroke. My fingers curl up, scraping against the door as my toes follow their lead before pleasure washes over me. I moan out softly as my mouth falls open and I pant for air. I can still feel her fingers moving in and out of me ever so gently as she brings me down from my high.

Damn her. I finally unclench my fists and slouch against the door. Her body presses up against mine in an attempt to support me so that I don't fall down. I stay pressed up against the door for a minutes before opening up my eyes once more to look at her. Maybe I did need that; I feel a lot calmer now than I did ten minutes ago. I'm surprised to see that her expression has softened. Her eyebrows are pulled a bit apart as if she is gazing at me in an almost loving manner.

She leans forward and her eyelids lower as she brings her lips closer and closer to mine. Milliseconds before our lips connect, I turn my face away from her and she pauses, clearly surprised that I avoided her kiss. She pulls back and looks at me in confusion.

I can't do this again. I can't keep letting her play with my heart and cut me down a little bit at a time. I gently push her off of me and zip up my pants before unlocking the door. For once, it's she who looks hurt. I shake my head lightly before turning away from her and pulling open the door. I leave the bathroom without looking back and a large part of me regrets my actions but another part of me knows that if I didn't leave, she would've. This is all just a game to her and I won't lose without putting up a fight.


	7. Playing with Fire

I'm angry, I know that. I'm out of line, I know that too but that doesn't stop me from ripping her to pieces little by little. It's personal even though everyone else thinks it's professional. It's not her fault that we didn't get enough evidence on the rapist that just walked out of the precinct two minutes prior but I still feel the need to make her feel my pain.

"What did you expect me to do?" Alex asks abruptly as she throws her hands to the side as if to show that there was nothing for her to do.

"Your fucking job!" I scream back her as I clench my jaw and try my best to control my breathing. I'm pissed, I think I've established that fact. I know I have about thirty seconds before either Elliot of Captain tells me to lay off and go home but I plan on taking advantage of that half a minute.

"I'd gladly do my job," She says calmly as she smiles ever so slightly. I can't tell if she's trying to calm me down or piss me off even more but I have the urge to wipe that smirk off of her pretty little face. "Once you do yours."

Can you blame me for seeing red? Before she has time to comprehend my movement and dodge me, I stalk toward her, cornering her against the wall with a single shaking finger pointing at her. "Don't you dare ever tell me that I don't do my job," I grit out behind clenched teeth. Usually my rage is aimed at the perps and don't get me wrong, I'd gladly beat the crap out of the rapist that just left this building but I don't have that option anymore. She's the only one I can blame and I want to. I want to blame her for the rapist walking out, I want to blame her for my sleepless nights, I want to blame her for the pain I'm feeling, I want to blame her for it all.

She tilts her chin upward as if to show that she's better than me, above me. After her initial shock wears off, her expression turns to stone. "Get off of me," She orders me in the voice that she typically reserves for the courtroom. That commanding, powerful voice that could make the defense piss themselves. And I like it.

I tilt my head slightly to evaluate her. Nothing about her body shows that she's willing to fight me, physically or verbally in order to get me off of her. If I had to guess, I'd say she's probably as turned on as I am. A small smirk forms on my lips as I press my lower half against her for a split second, causing her to gasp softly, before moving away. "You don't mean that," I whisper into her ear before pulling back to watch her eyes flutter back open. I can only imagine that they were closed as certain—images—flashed through her mind.

She licks her lips slowly as if taunting me. "I do," She replies steadily as those gorgeous blue eyes flicker between my lips and eyes. Yeah, she's definitely as turned on as I am but if she wants to play hard to get, then hard to get is what she'll get.

I shrug as I push myself off of the wall and away from her. "Fine," I reply evenly even though internally I'm smiling at the look of pure and utter confusion on her face. If I had to guess, I'd say that she expected me to take her on the damn wall in the middle of the precinct. I guess it's a good thing that it's so late at night that no one is left expect Captain and Elliot. Hell, I probably would've taken her against the wall if I knew we were alone but right about now I'm just waiting for Elliot to interrupt our little conversation. "Have it your way," I tell her and I know it's enough to push her over the edge.

I certainly didn't expect her to reach out and pull me back to her so roughly as I tried to walk away. I have to throw up my hands in order to brace myself against the wall so that I don't completely crush against her but that's probably what she wanted. Her lips are on mine in a split second, greedily nipping and licking as her hands tighten and twist the lapels of my jacket, forcing me to stay pressed up against her. I let her have her way for a few seconds, returning only a few rough bites against her tender lips, letting her know that I'm still in charge.

And then for the cherry on top, I push myself off of the wall, taking her along with me before shoving her backwards a bit more harshly than I meant to in order to get her to release her grip on my leather jacket. She stumbles backwards at the same moment that I hear heavy footsteps stop abruptly.

"BENSON!" I cringe as Cragen's pissed off voice floods the room, effectively halting both of our movements. "Out of line!" I can see Alex's eyes flash to him as she subconsciously rubs her kiss swollen lips with the back of her hand. I stay still for a few seconds, trying to deduce whether or not he saw what led up to me shoving Alex backwards. I slowly turn around and open up my mouth to speak but he immediately cuts me off. "You will not lay another hand on Cabot or else you're suspended until you can learn how to control yourself. She is not the enemy here."

I close my mouth and grit my teeth together as I stare right back at him. There's really no point in arguing with him because it's not like I can just tell him that her tongue was down my throat seconds prior. "Yes sir," I reply as steadily as I can, maintaining eye contact with him. His eyes move to my side, no doubt looking at Alex with concern.

"I'm fine, Don," Alex assures him which causes him to relax a bit more.

He looks back at me and narrows his eyes. "Go home," He orders and I have no choice but to nod. I can see Elliot walk into the room and stop abruptly as he looks between the three of us. Cragen turns around and returns to his office, slamming his door loud enough to rattle the windows.

Elliot takes a few steps closer to us, being his nosy self and trying to figure out what just happened. I glance at him momentarily before turning back to Alex as confidently and calmly as I can. "Interrogation room, now," I order her, making sure that I left no room for arguing. I expected her to fight back at least a little bit but instead she just glances over at Elliot before nodding and heading to the furthest and best hidden interrogation room.

Elliot raises and eyebrow at me before following Alex's figure as she walks away, and then turning back to me. "We have some things we need to discuss," I tell him as I turn away from him and start heading in her direction. I stop for a second, contemplating my next words as a small smile plays across my lips. "Don't let anyone go back there." I swear I hear his jaw hit the floor as I continue to walk toward the interrogation room.


	8. The Interrogation

When I walk into the interrogation room, she's leaning up against the wall with her arms crossed, patiently waiting for me. Her eyes dart up from the ground to look at me before she looks straight ahead again. Oh do I have her just where I want her. I close the door quietly behind me before flicking the lock shut, making my intentions clear. Her eyes waiver ever so slightly telling me exactly what I need to know; she wants this.

I stalk over to her, deliberately walking slowly until I'm in front of her. I purposely scan her body, from head to toe and she can't suppress her shiver as she follows my eyes. I take one last step forward before reaching out and ripping her blouse open, allowing the buttons to fly all around the room. There's a good chance that I'll be finding those all over the place for weeks to come but I don't mind. Her eyes widen in shock as her hands shoot up to cover herself but I'm faster than her. I catch her wrists midair before forcing them back down against the wall and behind her back. I pin them together as I remove my handcuffs from my side, tightening them around her wrists.

She looks so beautiful flustered, completely shocked, and very turned on. I can see the arousal in her eyes as her pupils dilate at the feeling of my cold steel cuffs pressing into her lower back. I admire her for a few seconds as my eyes travel up and down her body, greedily admiring her. My eyes stop at the tiny plastic clasp on the front of her bra where I normally would see more fabric. I can't stop the grin that forms as I reach out and undo her bra from the front, allowing the cups to hang loosely around her sides.

God, her body is perfect. Her nipples are already hard, pleading for my attention. I hastily wrap my hands around each breast, squeezing and massaging them roughly. I'm past the point of caring if it's painful for her but the small moans coming from her mouth tell me that she likes it rough and that's exactly how she'll get it. I abandon her breasts and I'm on my knees in a flash, forcing her tight black pencil skirt up to her waist. My hand cups her sex firmly in an attempt to stake my claim. I look up and see the steeled look in her eyes and I know she's trying to maintain some form of control; she likes the struggle for power. I squeeze her sex before pushing my palm up against her clit, rubbing firmly before removing my hand completely in order to force her thong down to her ankles. She stumbles slightly as she unconsciously tries to widen her legs in an attempt to give me more access but her underwear constrains her motion. With a few unsteady movements, she kicks her underwear to the side.

My hand returns between her legs and I rub the outside of her wet, swollen lips with two fingers, spreading her moisture around everywhere. A small thud forces me to look up and I'm met with a fantastic view of her breasts as she arches her back—in pleasure or maybe in pain from the cuffs—and presses her head firmly against the wall. "Beg." Her eyes flash open and meet mine instantly as she flushes ever so slightly. She's shocked that I have the audacity to say such a thing and to be honest, so am I. I hadn't been planning on it; I had been planning on going down on her until she was writhing and screaming without waiting for permission. But to ask her to beg? That certainly wasn't in my playbook.

"Beg," I repeat as I stroke two fingers firmly between her lips, dragging all the way up until I reach that little buddle. Her jaw clenches as her eyes pinch shut and she shakes her head vigorously back and forth. "Alex," I warn before sliding my fingers back down, this time slipping deeper into her folds, gathering even more warm wetness. She shakes her head again as she bites her lip, trying her best to maintain her dignity but I have plans for her. I'm going to make her feel as helpless as she's made me feel these past few days.

Without another word, I force two fingers into her, causing her back to straighten up as she screams out, her teeth still clenching against her bottom lip. I pull my fingers out of her and trail them up and down her sex again before spreading her wetness across the inside of her thighs. "Beg." She shakes her head again, this time even weaker than before and I know she's close to breaking down. I slip my fingers back inside of her and pump roughly and unevenly a few times before removing them again. I glance back up to see her breasts bouncing slightly as her chest heaves.

"I'm not going to ask again," I tell her in the lowest, husky voice that I could muster. My fingers are met with a flood of wetness no doubt from my words and I can't help it as I force her right leg over my shoulder and bring my mouth to her core. I swipe my tongue between her folds, greedily taking in her excitement before moving my lips to that tiny little bundle. I wrap my lips around the small erect tip and hum softly.

She immediately screams out in approval as her hips push forward, encouraging me to continue. I pull my lips away and force her lower half back against the wall as I look up at her, immediately meeting her gaze. She stares me down for as long as she can before she finally breaks. "Please," She whispers ever so softly and it's music to my ears.

"I can't hear you," I reply as I stroke her once more with my tongue, all while maintaining eye contact. She moans softly as her eyes flutter shut, enjoying the feeling.

"Please," She repeats, louder this time. She's more confident with her words now, much like she is in court and it's the biggest turn on. I readjust her right leg, wrapping it more firmly around my back before returning my mouth to where she wants it the most. She's open, wet, and so ready for me. I waste no time in thrusting my tongue inside of her as deep as I can go with the awkward position before pulling out and running my tongue along her length. She's trying her best to stay still but it's not really working in her favor.

I run my hands along the length of both her inner thighs before stroking the soft skin where her thighs meet her sex. Soft moans fill the room and her breathing gets more ragged as my right hand trails two fingers closer and closer to her sex. "Please!" She pleads me as her voice takes on a higher octave.

"Please what?" I ask her as my fingers stroke her once more while I hum softly against her. She lowers her hips a bit, trying to coax my fingers into her but I pull away, forcing her to stay still. "Please what, Alex? Tell me what you want."

She's silent for a few more seconds as I run my fingers across her length, dipping into her ever so slightly every other stroke. "I want your fingers inside of me!" She finally screams out as her will breaks. I think her pleading is my new favorite thing to hear but she's missing one little word. I still my motions and look back up at her with an arched eyebrow. She knows what I want; I can tell by the way she shakes her head and bites her lip before giving in completely. "Please, I want your fingers inside of me!"

There we go. I push two fingers into her with ease; she has supplied me with more than enough lubrication. She moans out in pleasure as I finally start taking her closer and closer to her goal. Her hips start rotating with my pumping, trying to coax my fingers to move around inside of her rather than just up and down. I take her suggestion and curl my fingers forward, scraping the spongey flesh of her inner walls.

The most amazing sounds start falling from her lips as her hips start jerking around. I glance up at her and admire the view of her bouncing breasts as she moves her body against my fingers. Her eyes are pinched closed and her mouth is open as she gasps for air. "So…so close," She pants out softly as the clanging of my cuffs fill the room. I try my best not to chuckle as she tries to weave her hands into my hair but she's stopped by the handcuffs. I keep up a steady thrusting as I return my mouth to that little straining bundle, intent on driving her over the edge as quickly as possible. I wrap my lips around it and hum louder now and I can feel my own body vibrate from it. Her breaths come faster now as she tries not to jerk her hips.

She's almost there; I can feel it. I suck firmly while curling my fingers forward until I feel her clamp down on me, her walls fluttering in a desperate attempt to hold onto something. I try my best to keep my lips around her as her body tightens up so beautifully. Slow pumping brings her down from her high and I can't help it as I greedily clean up what moisture spilled over my fingers. She's intoxicating, every inch of her.

Finally, I release my hold on her and rise up on unsteady legs, supporting her as best as I can since she's just as unsteady as I am. She sighs heavily as she leans her head back, pushing her cheek against the cold wall. Random strands of her blonde locks are plastered to her forehead and I can't help but admire how beautiful she is. She finally rolls her head back around and smiles at me weakly. "What happened to not laying a hand on me?" She teases with a smirk.

I raise an eyebrow as I look at her before Cragen's words echo in my head. "I don't listen to anyone," I reply as cockily as I can muster.

Her smile grows as she closes her eyes, most likely replaying the events that just occurred. She opens up her eyes again and meets my eyes. "You listened to me," She teases again, proving her point with a wink. I chuckle softly at her words. Yes, I certainly did listen to her when she begged me to enter her but I wasn't going to admit it. I had more important things to do. She pushes herself off the wall slightly and twists her back in order to reveal the cuffs restraining her wrists. "Can you unlock me now?"

I slip my key into the cuffs and unlock them, frowning slightly at the bright red rings around her wrists. She immediately brings her wrists forward and rubs them gingerly. "How exactly am I supposed to explain these in court tomorrow?" She asks me with a raised eyebrow.

I shrug as I look at the marks. "I doubt they'd be surprised. You've already been held in contempt once." The look on her face is priceless; it's almost as if she wants to laugh but she's also trying to act offended. "I mean you could also just tell them you're into bondage." Now her face straightens up and she gives me her best court room glare as if asking "really?" God, I love her.

She finally cracks her façade and smiles softly as she shakes her head. She runs a hand across her neck and through her hair before pausing as she traces tender flesh. "They'd probably be more likely to believe that considering the hickeys I have." Yeah, the hickeys lining her neck are pretty bad but it only makes me feel better about myself. I marked her and made my claim on her clear and for some reason she doesn't seem to mind.

I step closer to her and wrap my left hand into her hair, gently pulling her head to the side so that her neck is exposed to me. My lips find a flawless portion of skin before I latch on, sucking against her skin while soothing it with my tongue. She moans softly as her hands hold onto my head, encouraging me. Once I can feel her skin heat up enough, I pull away and smile at the forming mark. I lay a quick kiss against it before moving away from her again. She releases her hold on me and smiles as she traces the newest mark.

I wish she could always be like this. I wish I could just take her whenever I want and do whatever I want to her but that's not how this works; I think I've finally learned that. I take the corners of her bra and snap it back together before pulling the ends of her shirt together. She looks at me curiously as I lean in to give her a brisk kiss on the lips, avoiding her attempt to deepen it. "I suggest you clean yourself up before leaving," I tell her as I pull away completely and walk right out of the interrogation room, leaving the door open behind me.


	9. Possession

I glance around the dimly lit club, colorful lights are flashing in random directions while dozens of women bump and grind far too closely. It's not really my scene but I could use a night off; a night of no longer having to think about Alex. Although I'm starting to question whether or not this could be her doing.

See, yesterday a delivery man swung by the precinct and delivered a package for me. A package that I stupidly opened up in front of Elliot before shoving the contents back inside the box, praying that no one else saw what was inside. Elliot, of course, tried to steal the box away from me to see what flustered me so much but I held my ground, eventually hiding the box in the lowest drawer on my desk with a lock. I would probably die of embarrassment if anyone saw what I saw.

In hindsight, it probably would've been wise to read the little note that was sticking out of the box but instead I had to go for the big present inside. And by big, I mean the eight inch black silicone strap-on. Yeah, someone sent me_ that_ to the 1-6 precinct of all places. Now that I think about it, I'm happy that I had fast enough reflexes to recognize what it was before shoving it back in the box. The note was as straightforward as its companion. There were simple instructions to show up at Chelsea's, a well-known lesbian club, with the other gift strapped between my legs and I would receive the rest of my present…hint, hint.

And that brings us back to present time. I'm sitting on a barstool, shifting my hips back and forth as subtly as I can because this damn strap-on is not the easiest thing to wear. To be honest, I've never worn one out in public before. Hell, I don't even use them very often because I prefer to pleasure my women with more natural methods but that doesn't mean that I am against them. It is a power trip that I'm not too fond of despite what most women think. I lost count of how many times women asked me to fuck them with one because they wanted to be dominated. Sure, I don't mind dominating but strap-ons just aren't my thing. Maybe tonight will be different.

I peer around once more, hunching over slightly at the bar in order to hide my lower half. I've already checked about a dozen times to make sure that it's not visible but it still makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't want a woman to see it and immediately think I'm ready to play—although why else would I be at this club? I guess a part of me wants an easy release and whoever sent this to me is probably easy enough. But a bigger part of me is hoping that Alex sent me this. Sure, our sex life has been rather…heated recently but that doesn't necessarily mean that she'd go out of her way to do this. Oh well, I guess we'll see.

"Want to dance?" My head whips to the side to look at the face that belonged to the unfamiliar voice. It wasn't her. Instead, she had curly red hair and was probably a good five inches shorter than her. She didn't wear black glasses or a tight skirt that made me drool once I caught sight of her legs. "Jenny," She says as she holds out her hand, waiting for me to shake it.

I guess I shouldn't be rude. I take the proffered hand and smile at her. "Olivia, and I'm not really in the dancing mood, sorry."

She shakes her head before pulling me up from my stool, causing our bodies to press up against one another's. Her eyes widen in surprise before a grin spreads across her face. "I see," She starts off a bit hesitantly as she bites her lower lip in thought. I can't help but frown slightly at the way she tugs at her lower lip; she does it nowhere near as seductively as Alex does it. Honestly, she makes it look a little klutzy and unattractive. "You have something else on your mind." I look at her in confusion as she gently thrusts her lower half against mine, making her intent clear. Her motions cause the strap-on to press against me in the most uncomfortable of ways and I just want to get away from her.

I shake my head quickly in response. "I'm, uh—no," I respond as my face flushes slightly. Great, and here I thought I could keep the fake cock between my legs hidden from the club-goers.

She leans in closer to me, her lavender perfume overwhelming my senses and not in a good way. It's nothing like Alex's warm vanilla scent that washes over me every time I kiss her. "Are you sure about that?" She asks me with a smirk. I'm about to respond in the affirmative when something grabs between my legs and squeezes. My eyes widen in shock as I look down at her hand which is now wrapped around the appendage.

This woman just doesn't know how to take no for an answer, does she? I instantly recoil from her touch, bumping into another woman behind me. I offer up a quickly apology, making sure that I didn't spill her drink before returning to Jasmine—wait was that her name? "I'm really not interested," I tell her as politely as I can but she's not taking any of it.

Instead, she pulls me out into the sea of gyrating bodies before wrapping her arms around my neck and pushing her lower half against mine. She starts doing some weird movements against me that are uneven and completely off rhythm compared to the beat of the music. But I let her anyway. I guess I did come out here for a good time; I need to get Alex off of my mind.

She continues awkwardly rolling her hips against mine, thrusting a little too forcefully every now and then before slowing down completely and then picking up her pace far too enthusiastically. By the end of the song, I've had enough of her and I'm desperately looking for a way out of this. "I'm thirsty," I tell her as I push her shoulders gently, prying her clinging fingers from me. She nods and releases her grip on me, following hot on my heels as I push through the crowd.

Various bodies bump into me as I'm shuffling through the crowd, causing my phone to dislodge from my pocket before clattering to the floor. "Shit," I mumble as I reach down, dodging a pair of wedges as I go. Once my hand wraps around the bottom of my phone, the tip of a heel steps on the front of it, stopping me from lifting my phone off of the ground. I look at the black pump in front of me with four inch heels, nice but I really need my phone. I keep my hand in its place as my eyes wander up the heel, over a pale smooth calf and up a very toned thigh. My eyes widen slightly as more and more skin is revealed to me, well past a modest level, until my eyes are met with tight red fabric. I tilt my head up the rest of the way, following the skin tight red dress up to the woman who's wearing it and I swear my jaw hits the floor as I stare into brilliant blue eyes, framed by the sexiest pair of black frames I have ever seen.

A hand on my head forces me to stop staring at the gorgeous blonde in front of me and I cringe as I realize whose hand is on me. Alex's heel lifts off of my phone and I quickly pick it up off the floor before looking back at her. She has a single raised eyebrow as her eyes flash to the woman behind me, no doubt asking who she is. I straighten up completely and open and close my mouth like a fish out of water, unsure of what to say. The redhead takes a step closer, standing next to me as she stares at Alex.

Instead of saying hello, Alex simply flashes her a smile before closing the distance between us. I'm taken completely off guard as she wraps both of her hands in my hair and pulls me firmly against her, crashing our lips together in a delirious kiss. She deepens the kiss without waiting for my approval, tilting her head to the side as she opens up her mouth and devours mine in the most passionate kiss we've ever had so far. I'm helpless to stop this—okay if we're being honest I encouraged her especially with the way my hands immediately went to her back before sliding down, cupping her perfect ass and massaging the firm globes.

Faintly in the background I can hear Jill—no that's not her name—scoffing but I really don't give a crap about her at this point. All I care about is the sexy blonde in front of me. I can feel her hips rubbing against my strap-on and it turns me on unlike the other woman. God she knows how to move her body. I can't help it as I jerk my hips forward, pressing more firmly against her, causing her far too short dress to rise up even further. A few more inches and the rest of the club would be seeing parts of her that only I should have the privilege of seeing.

She finally pulls away from the kiss and I'm left staring at her kiss swollen lips as we both try to catch our breath. After a beat, she turns to my previous companion with a smirk. "Sorry hun, she's mine for the night." Well fuck. Now the strap-on is even more uncomfortable considering the wetness that just coated it from her possessive nature. I want her and I want her now.

Without waiting for a cat fight to break out, I push Alex backwards, leading her toward the backrooms where I know we'll find a more private setting. Of course, we can't seem to get anywhere near the rooms because she immediately starts kissing up my neck and running her hands up and down my back. I do my best to lead us in a straight line but it's really not working out well; she's just too damn distracting.

Her back slams into a wall and she pulls away from my neck as she gasps out in pain. Oops, but that was her fault anyway for distracting me so much. She shakes her head slightly before my lips press against hers and our previous destination is quickly forgotten as her hips roll seductively against me. The club music is playing so loudly that I can feel it pumping through my veins as I grab onto her thighs and hoist her up into the air and press her against the wall more firmly. Her slender legs immediately wrap around my back, revealing nothing but skin.

My eyes widen in realization when I only see skin where normally I'd see some lacy article of lingerie. My eyes flash up to hers and she flashes me a devious smirk. "Easy access," She husks out and my mouth immediately goes dry as all the moisture in my body travels south.

Both of her hands drop down from my neck and land on the top of my pants, tugging at the button and zipper. I stare at her in shock as her hand slips between my pants and boxers before tugging on the head of the strap-on. "What are you doing?" I finally manage to squeak out as I glance around us; surprisingly, no one is really paying us much attention since we're against one of the more hidden back walls but we're still in public.

"What do you think I'm doing?" She replies as her hand skillfully lines me up to her entrance. She pauses and leans in to nip at my ear. I can feel her tongue trace the shell of my ear before her hot breath flows over me. "I want you buried _deep_ inside of me," She husks out before catching the lobe of my ear between her teeth and tugging on it.

There's no hesitation as I thrust my hips forward burying the cock completely inside of her, thankful that she already lined us up. Her teeth immediately release my ear lobe as her scream fills my ears. Her hands immediately land on my back as her nails scrape over the fabric of my leather jacket. I thrust into her over and over again, quickly finding a rhythm that matches the beat of the music.

I'm thrusting into her a lot faster than I've ever done before but she doesn't seem to mind. Her head falls back against the wall as her mouth opens up and loud moans fall from her lips but they're hardly heard over the thudding bass. My hands clench around her partially exposed ass, blocking anyone else from seeing her if they were so inclined to look our way, as I latch my lips onto her neck. She staked her claim on me and now it's time for me to stake my claim on her; the rest of the club needs to know who she belongs to.

I haphazardly suck at her pounding pulse point as my hips continue to thrust into her. It's getting harder for me to push into her and I've done this enough to know that she's tightening up. She's close. I push through her clenching inner walls, intent on driving her over the edge in the most savage of ways. My speed only picks up more as the song changes to something faster, causing me to accidentally press the seat of the strap-on into me. Okay, maybe that wasn't an accident. I repeat my motion with each thrust, increasing my own arousal and driving myself closer to the edge as well.

I can feel her nails on my skin even through my shirt and jacket; she's so damn close. I start to roll my hips every time as I pull out of her partially, stimulating her in one of her favorite ways. After a few more seconds, thrusting becomes next to impossible and she pulls me tight against her, burying her face against my neck as she screams out in pleasure. I don't bother stopping as she orgasms, I'm so close myself. I follow her soon after, stilling my thrusts as I stay buried completely inside of her. I slump against her body, supporting us both against the wall as she keeps her arms firmly around me and my hands continue to hold her up.

The music finally returns to full volume and I pull ever so slightly away from her before scanning around us. Everyone else seems to be preoccupied with whatever they're doing and for once I'm thankful that people are too busy grinding. I look back to her and she smiles as she continues to pant out. I extract the cock from inside of her and her hands are instantly on the strap-on, pushing it back under my jeans before zipping me up. I lower her to the ground, pulling at the edges of her dress as I go in order to protect her modesty. "Is this how you intended for the night to go?" I ask her once we're both standing on unsteady feet.

She shakes her head as she shimmies her dress a bit further down her thighs before adjusting the top portion of it. "Not exactly. I didn't like the way she was looking at you," She tells me and I find myself smiling like an idiot. Did this occur just because Alex was jealous? And if so, how can I continue making her jealous?

"So," I start off as I lean against the wall and run a hand through my hair. "What are the odds I'm lucky enough to take you home with me?"

She raises an eyebrow before the corners of her lips turn up. "Lead the way."


	10. Shiny Eyes

Somehow we manage to wind up at my apartment with all of our clothing still intact—well most of it anyway. She pushes me against the door that I just closed and flashes me a devious smirk as her hands cup my ass, bringing my front against hers. "Alex, wait," I manage to say before I'm completely taken over by her. She pauses and looks up at me curiously. "Let's talk."

She frowns as she pushes herself off of me and stands a few feet from me. "You brought me here under false pretenses," She states as she crosses her arms and stares me down with her signature courtroom glare.

"No," I start off as I push myself off of the door and straighten up my pants.

She scoffs slightly as she shakes her head. "I went home with you under the impression that we were going to continue what we started in the club."

"I still plan on fucking you," I counter as I take a step closer to her. Her eyes light up subtly at my vulgar words. Nobody else would've been able to see her arousal; I know just how to read her. "But first I think we need to talk."

She frowns and I have to stop myself from laughing as she pouts ever so slightly. She's probably doing it subconsciously but it just goes to show that she's used to getting her way. She seductively walks closer to me and places both hands on my shoulders before sliding them around my neck and bringing our torsos together. "Can we maybe just…put talking on hold for a bit?" She asks me innocently.

I groan softly as I close my eyes. Damn, she knows how to drive me crazy. Just as I'm about to respond, I feel lips skim across my neck and down toward my chest. She uses one of her hands to push my leather jacket off of my shoulders and pushes my shirt to the side, allowing her lips access to my shoulder. Her lips continue their journey down and she suckles at my collarbone, tracing it with her tongue before scraping her teeth across my shoulder. "Aleeex," I groan out as I place my hands on her hips in an attempt to stop her but I don't bother pushing her away.

"Hmm?" She hums softly, causing my skin to erupt with goosebumps as her warm, wet mouth continues kissing around my collarbone before heading further down my chest. My leather jacket silently falls off of my arms completely and onto the floor behind me. A soft finger trace the deep V of my black shirt before hooking into it and pulling down far enough for my black bra to be revealed. She glances up at me as she presses a series of light kisses down my sternum and between the valley of my breasts.

I take a deep breath, causing her face to press more firmly between my breasts before exhaling unsteadily. She places a chaste kiss on the top of both of my breasts before standing up straight again. I can't stop the soft groan that falls from my lips as her eyes return to mine. Without saying a word, she hooks a finger back into the V of my shirt, tugging on it as she walks backwards toward my couch. I follow her helplessly, not stopping until the back of my calves are pressed up against the seat of the couch. She releases her hold on me before her nimble fingers find the button on my jeans, quickly releasing it before dragging my pants down my legs. I have to help her slightly as I wiggle my way out of my jeans since she didn't bother wasting time to unzip them.

Once they're around my knees, she pushes me down onto the couch without warning and I have to brace myself against the couch with my hands. Okay, so much for talking. She places both of her hands against my cheeks before dragging them across my neck and out to my shoulders. She grips on lightly as she lifts up her left leg, bending it slightly before slipping it between the arm of the couch and my body. I watch entranced as the end of her tight little dress rises, revealing virtually all of her creamy thigh to me. My eyes follow her movement as she leans her weight onto her left knee before swinging her right leg around me, effectively straddling me.

She scoots forward a bit more, positioning her bulging breasts right in front of my face. Oh help me because I'm helpless when it comes to her. The dress is far too tight but I don't care at all. Her breasts are practically spilling out over the top of her dress and I want nothing more than to pull down her dress and kiss every inch of her.

She runs her hands back up to my head, tracing her thumbs across my cheeks as she guides my face forward until I'm mere centimeters from her breasts. Without hesitation, I lean forward and press my lips against the firm flesh, kissing and suckling my way across the tops of her breasts. She moans out softly as her grip tightens around my head, causing my hair to tangle under her fingers. My fingertips feel like they're on fire as they run over the length of her dress, desperately searching for the zipper.

A firm tug against my hair causes me to pull back as I breathe out heavily. My eyes roam over her body as her hands drop from my shoulders before reaching down to my boxers. A single hand slips between the slit and effortlessly finds the head of the strap-on. Her hand slips back out of my boxers, still wrapped around the head. I let out a jagged breath at the visual stimulation, my eyes still glued to the fake cock.

She brings her hips up to the tip, positioning her lower half perfectly over it. My wandering hands, which quickly forgot their search for her zipper, slide back down to rest on her upper thighs and push her dress up around hips until I can see the head of the cock pressing against her wet, swollen outer lips.

Our eyes flicker up to meet momentarily before we both look back down to her lower half. She slowly rotates her hips while holding the head still, allowing her wetness to smear all over the tip. I swallow roughly as she continues to gyrate her hips before lowering herself ever so slightly. I watch intently as an inch of the cock slips between her folds and into her.

There is no sound between the both of us besides heavy breathing as she straightens up again, allowing the cock to slip back out of her and wobble ever so slightly. I glance at the head of the glistening strap-on before my eyes flicker up to her face. She bites her lower lip as she focuses on lining up the head once more before lowering herself onto it again, this time taking even more than before.

My eyes immediately latch back onto our lower halves as the tip of the strap-on disappears inside of her once more, coating it with even more of her excitement. Instead of pulling out again, she continues to lower herself onto the cock and I can't help but keenly watch as she stretches so beautifully around me. I can feel her resistance; she's so tight that it's causing the strap-on to press into me as well as she tries to take the rest of me.

About halfway down, she throws her head back, allowing the length of her blonde hair to hang freely down her back. She gasps out as her arching back allows the head of the strap-on to press against her front walls. As great of a view watching her take me is, I can't resist watching the emotions play across her flawless face. Her long pale neck is stretched out, exposing a few scattered and darkening bruises from our earlier fucking. Her mouth is hanging open before she forces it shut in order to bite her bottom lip as she lowers herself further.

Another soft moan falls from her lips as her hips press flush against mine. She stills once the cock is fully inside of her and finally straightens up her body in order to look down at me. At this point, I'm having a very hard time breathing. I feel as if I'm physically inside of her, stretching her so deliciously. After a few seconds of silence, she tightens her grip around my shoulders as she lifts up her hips, allowing the cock to slip a few inches out of her before lowering back down.

My eyes flicker between her face and the glistening strap-on as she starts to ride me. I can't make up my mind as to where I want to look but can you blame me? There's something so fucking hot about watching the strap-on slide in and out of her tight core but watching the dozens of emotions play across her features is driving me crazy.

She continues fucking herself on my cock, picking up her pace as time goes on. Her moans grow louder and her movement sloppier, alerting me that she's getting close. Her hips start jerking more roughly as she tries her best to keep pleasuring herself before her grip tightens around my shoulder and she places her head next to mine, resting her chin on my left shoulder blade. My right hand continues guiding her hip as my left rises up and weaves into her hair, holding her down as she continues to ride me.

With a firm hold on her hip, I thrust my hips upward, impaling the strap-on inside of her since her movements are far too unsteady now. Rightfully surprised, she tries to pull her head up in order to straighten up her body but I tighten my grip in her hair and force her to stay bent over. On my third thrust, her nails dig painfully into my back, pulling up my shirt as she claws at me, desperate to ground herself as waves of pleasure wash over her. She moans out my name, dragging out the last syllable as her body tenses up and freezes. I lighten up my thrusts and slow my speed, allowing her to come down gently from her high while also milking every last ounce of pleasure from her.

Once her hands release their death grip from around me, I try to coax her off of me but she stills her hips. "Stay inside of me," She whispers softly against my neck. I can feel her warm breath flowing over me as she pants for air. I nod ever so slightly before tilting my head to the side and pressing a kiss to the messy blonde locks that I find there. I can't help it as I nuzzle my nose into her hair, breathing in her strawberry shampoo mixed with a light scent of vanilla that always seems to be surrounding her despite her confession that she never bothers to wear perfume.

After a few minutes, she finally removes her head from my shoulder and braces herself against me as she lifts up her lower half. Her face contorts in discomfort ever so slightly as strap-on slides out of her. She exhales deeply once cock is completely out of her before weakly rolling off of me and slouching against the back of the couch next to me. She pulls down the corners of her dress in order to cover herself again before pressing her head into the back of the couch and closing her eyes as she steadily breathes in and out.

I glance down to my lower half and instantly notice the wetness coating the front of my boxers. I'm not sure whether I should bother with putting the strap-on back beneath my boxers or if I should just pull the damn thing off. It's rather uncomfortable now considering that I've fucked Alex with it twice and it's been strapped between my legs for close to two hours.

I finally decide on the latter, standing up on unsteady legs before practically shuffling my way to my bedroom. Once I'm there, I quickly shimmy out of my boxers before removing the strap-on. I quickly wrap it in a towel and toss it onto my bathroom counter before slipping on a pair of shorts—it's far too hot in here for sweatpants—and returning to the living room.

Alex is still leaning against the back of the couch when I return. I gingerly sit back down next to her and I can see her eyes open up out of the corner of my vision. She rolls her head to the side to look at me curiously before lifting her head up off of the back of the couch. "Do you still want to talk?" She asks as she supports her head with her right arm, resting her elbow against the back of the couch.

I run a hand through my hair, stopping as my fingers get stuck in a knot. I remove my hand with a frown before looking at her. "I think that would be a good idea," I reply after a few beats. We both stay silent for a few minutes collecting our thoughts.

"I want us—"

"I think—" We both start to talk at the same time before stopping. We look at each before chuckling ever so slightly.

"Go ahead," I tell her as I pull my legs up and curl them under me on the couch.

"I think," She restates as she looks around my living room, clearly avoiding my gaze. "As much as I enjoy this, I think we need to stop." My heart drops at her words. I straighten up and face my body toward hers, trying to coax her into looking at me. She finally turns her body to me and places a hand on my leg. "Olivia you're an amazing woman and the sex is great, phenomenal really, but we don't have anything else in common."

"You're serious," I numbly state as I look away from her. That was certainly not how I expected this to go but I guess that's what I get for letting her speak first. At least it saved me from the embarrassment of suggesting that we should try to be something more.

"I am," She replies softly as her hand begins to rub gently up at down my leg.

"What ever happened to opposites attract?" I ask her as I place my hand on top of hers, stopping her from rubbing my leg.

She chuckles more to herself than anyone. "I was never very good at science."

I remove my hand from on top of hers and rest it on the back of the couch as I lean closer to her. "I can teach you," I whisper as I raise an eyebrow suggestively.

She playfully swats my shoulder as she laughs without restraint. I can't help but admire her as she shakes her head and tries her best to stop laughing. "Is this where you throw out some nerdy sex joke in attempt to get in my pants?" She asks me with a small smile.

I shrug in response as I straighten up slightly so that I'm not as close to her. "I could but honestly, I don't want this to be over."

Her smile drops as she sighs softly. "Olivia—"

"No," I immediately cut her off. "Don't give me any of that we wouldn't work crap." She looks a little shock at my brazen behavior but it doesn't stop me from continuing. I have something to say and I'm not going to stop until I do. "I can see it in your eyes, Alex." She looks at me curiously, that familiar twinkling making its presence known. My voice lowers to barely above a whisper as I continue, "They shine when you're around me." She looks taken aback by my words as we both sit there in silence, letting everything sink in.

"I'm going to go now," She whispers softly as she rises up from my couch. I can feel her eyes beating down on me as I shake my head and throw a hand up in frustration, effectively dismissing her. She stays there for a few seconds before walking around the couch and out of my view. I hear the door open and close softly behind her.


	11. Actions Speak Louder

"Congratulations Counselor," Elliot says as Alex walks into the squad room. I'm right behind her but I'm purposely keeping my distance. It has been two weeks since we last talked about something other than work and I guess more importantly it has been two weeks since we had sex.

"I'm just glad he's going down for all the rapes," Alex simply replies. We had been dealing with a string of rapes with no leads the last few days. We had a flimsy ID at best but somehow Alex had managed to get a conviction.

"We're headed out to Mulligan's, how about we buy you a congratulatory drink?" Elliot offers up as he quickly gathers his things. I can't help but grimace slightly at Elliot's open invitation. I see a shimmer of blonde hair as Alex turns to look at me and I force a small smile.

"Sure," She responds as she turns back to Elliot. I want to slap him upside the head but I guess it's not my call whether or not Alex gets to go out with us. She does deserve a drink for her fantastic work. I grab my leather jacket off of the back of my chair and shrug it on as we leave the precinct. Something tells me that it's going to be a long night.

Twenty minutes later we are squished into a booth, Alex next to me, Fin begrudgingly next to Munch, and Elliot on a stool at the head of the booth. A large pitcher of beer is placed on the table, slopping some of the foam over the top and onto the counter as Elliot hastily slides mugs our way. Alex, of course, had ordered herself a glass of red wine and was sipping on that while Elliot passed around the pitcher.

"Cheers," Elliot called out once everyone had something in their cup. We all held up our mugs and Alex her wine glass. To be honest, it was weird to have Alex out with us, especially at a bar like this. We all clang our mugs against each other's, not caring if we spill over the beer but we all stop when it comes to Alex's wine glass, not wanting to pour beer into her glass.

"Damn am I happy that case is over," Fin grumbles as he takes a long swig of his beer, elbowing Munch as he went; it's unclear as to whether or not that was on purpose. I glance out of the corner of my eye, taking in Alex. She's sitting elegantly, even at a bar booth, with her left leg crossed over her right and her back completely straight unlike the rest of us who are slumping.

"What do I always say about Big Brother?" Munch replies with a goofy grin. We all groan in sync as he begins to rattle off how the rapist was able to hack into the victim's cellphone in order to find their location.

I'm pretty sure we all zoned out the moment Munch started rattling off his conspiracy theories but somehow I'm able to hear Alex's soft voice. "I'm going to use the restroom," She states as she sets her almost empty wine glass onto the table and slides out of the booth. She pauses momentarily before shedding her jacket and tossing it over my lap. "Hold onto that for me," She states with a quick wink. I refrain from rolling my eyes as she turns back around and heads toward the restroom. What else was I supposed to do with it? I watch her ass purposely sway as she steadily strides to the back of the bar in those damn heels.

When I turn back to the boys, they're far too quiet for my liking. I quickly fill in the void by taking a long swig of my beer, breaking the silence as the mug clinks against the table. "She certainly does have a nice rear," Munch states and I quickly realize why everyone was so quiet. Munch cries out in pain as Fin elbows him. "What?" Munch asks as he rubs his sore shoulder. "Like you wouldn't like a go at our wonderful ADA."

"Nah you old perv," Fin quips back as he glances over at me for some reason. "Something tells me I'm not her type." My cheeks feel like they're burning as I reach for my beer and quickly take a long drink.

By the time I set down the mug, Alex is back, eyeing us all curiously as she slides in. I reach down for her jacket but she calmly places a hand on my thigh as if she's silently telling me to keep her jacket in my lap. I return my attention back to Munch who is on another rant about…did he just say lesbian? My eyes flicker back to Alex's as I feel her hand slip under her jacket and rub back and forth across my upper thigh. She's talking avidly to Elliot about something that I don't quite comprehend.

Her hand continues to stroke my thigh, her finger tips dipping between my legs and stroking the inside. I clench my legs together, pinning her fingers in place and I hear her voice waiver ever so slightly as she talks to Elliot. She clears her throat and continues speaking as if nothing happened before her nails dig into my thigh. I release my hold on her and her fingers return to stroking me softly.

I glance around suspiciously as I raise my mug to my lips, trying to figure out if anyone else can see us. I'm trying my best to avoid looking down at my lap because that would be a dead giveaway for sure. Fin is going off on a rant about how the government isn't really that bad to Munch and Elliot is still chatting amicably with Alex which is surprising in itself. They never really got along well but I guess today was a good day for everyone.

Her hand slides further up my leg until her fingers press against seam of my slacks, causing my hand to jerk as beer drips down onto my shirt. "Shit," I mutter as I place my beer back onto the table with a thud and look around for anything to wipe my shirt with.

Both Alex and Elliot look over at me and Alex lifts up her wine glass before grabbing the small napkin underneath it. She turns to me, bracing her hand that was against the seam of my pants against my leg as she brings her left arm up to my shirt to blot at the beer. I freeze up as she soaks up the beer with the napkin, staring intently at my chest as she goes.

I can feel Elliot's eyes burning into me and I reluctantly connect my eyes with his. Bad idea. He lifts up his right hand to about chest level as he pretends to hold onto something as he tips his head back and rolls his eyes in pleasure. I flush immediately as I get his reference; I glare at him as if to reject his idea. As much as I want to weave my hand into Alex's hair and hold her against my breasts, I'm not going to.

All while I'm silently arguing with Elliot, I'm oblivious to Alex's right hand, the one that is still inconspicuously placed on my leg, until I feel my pants shift. My eyes shoot back down to Alex and she continues to expertly clean off the beer, pretending that her other hand isn't pulling down the zipper to my pants. "I got it," I say as I reach both of my hands out and cup her hand that holds the napkin.

She pauses as her eyes flicker up to mine and she smiles innocently. "I think I got it all," She tells me at the same moment I feel my zipper reach the end of its track. I swallow roughly as she licks her lips and then pulls away from me.

"Alex, I think I spilled some beer on my shirt," Munch quips as he gawks at his spotless button up. I can feel the blush on my cheeks growing as it spreads down to my chest but Alex stays perfectly calm.

"Well that'd be a shame to ruin that shirt," Alex starts off as she frowns ever so slightly in an attempt to act concerned. "I'm sure Fin would be more than willing to lend you a hand," She finishes with a grin and I can't help it as I chuckle before covering my mouth.

Munch looks over at Fin with a grimace, clearly not expecting Alex to come back with a witty retort. "Eh, the shirt didn't cost much anyone," He mutters as he crosses his arms over his chest.

Elliot joins in on the laughing before rising from the table. "I'm gonna get another pitcher. Alex, can I get you another glass?"

"Please," Alex replies as she offers him up a smile. He nods and heads off toward the bar. Finally, her fingers begin to move again and I'm not sure if I should sigh in relief or not. Part of me is scared shitless that someone will see us but then again what are they going to do? It's not like her head is between my legs and she's licking me—ah fuck, snap out of it Benson. I can feel the wetness pooling uncomfortably between my legs now and I desperately want to excuse myself to the restroom to take care of it but I also don't want to leave Alex's wandering hands.

My teeth clench together as I feel her fingers press against my underwear; she must have slipped her hand between the zipper of my pants when I was too busy thinking about her going down on me. A single finger presses upward and toward the top of my underwear and I can see her arm twisting to accommodate the new angle. Her arm twists back again as she pulls my underwear down far enough to slip her hand underneath it.

Elliot returns to the table, sliding the pitcher to Fin before leaning over, intent on setting Alex's wine glass in front of her. His body freezes up, wine glass still poised midair, as he looks down at what I'm assuming is my lap where Alex's hand has disappeared. I close my eyes and groan softly, begging him silently not to say anything but Alex carries on with her conversation with Fin as if there was nothing going on underneath the table.

Elliot finally snaps out of it and sets the glass in front of Alex. "Thank you," Alex says as she looks over at Elliot with a smile. Elliot numbly nods as he tries to sit down on his stool, almost missing it as he wobbles to the side, catching himself before he could fall off.

"Man, you drunk already?" Fin teases as he fills up his mug and slides the beer over to Munch who follows his lead. Alex's fingers trace a line down my sex before sliding back up again, clearly teasing me.

I chuckle as I watch Elliot redden. He glances over at me as he speaks. "No. Just a bit…distracted." My eyes immediately drop to the table where my hands are resting. I resist the urge to grab my beer since that didn't end well for me last time. I'll never understand how Alex managed to stay so calm at Elliot's words.

Her fingers slip down even further and I try my best not to close my eyes at the sensation of a single finger slipping between my outer lips. Those skilled nimble fingers continue on their journey down, wiggling around until her fingers are pressing against my wet entrance. I'm embarrassingly wet but Alex doesn't seem to mind as her fingers draw circular patterns around my entrance before slipping in to her first knuckle.

Fuck. A hand shoots up to my face as I scratch the side of my cheek, far to roughly in an attempt to focus on something other than her skill fingers, slipping deeper inside of me every second. I can feel Elliot's eyes on me and I'm too afraid to check to see if Fin and Munch are watching as well. Alex's soft laugh finally stops my fingers from tearing into my cheek and I look up to see Fin and Munch laughing along with her at something she said.

"Who knew you were so witty," Munch teases as he finishes off his beer. I certainly didn't, then again I have no clue what she just said. I feel like there's cotton stuck in my ears…and in my mouth. I can't even seem to swallow, my mouth is so dry.

"It's my hidden secret," She jokes as she glances over at me before looking back at the boys. Her fingers slip a bit deeper inside of me and I'm forced to bite my cheek with far too much force in order to keep myself from moaning. If this is how I'm reacting with her fingers just resting inside me I don't want to know what will happen when she starts moving around.

"I got one for you!" Munch exclaims as he sets his beer down and clears his throat. "All my wives say that my obsession with conspiracy theories is getting out of control." My face contorts immediately as if saying "what the fuck" at Munch's words. What the hell are we even talking about? I feel as if somehow I passed out and missed the majority of this conversation because nothing is making sense. "I wonder how much dirty money the Russians paid them to say that!" Everyone at the table bursts out in laughter, even Alex, as I continue to stare at him as if he was crazy—which honestly he is.

Finally Munch sobers up and looks at me. "Well it looks like someone wants to act like a tough crowd! If you're so high and mighty why don't you crack a joke?" I look at him in confusion as all the eyes around the table land on me.

"Yeah, Liv, why don't you tell us a joke? I'm sure you have plenty up your sleeve," Alex tells me as her fingers slip even further inside of me, to the point that I can feel her palm flush against me. Not expecting that, I choke on air—since there is no moisture in my mouth to choke on—banging a hand against my chest in order to stop the convulsions.

"Yeah, no," I manage to cough out before being overwhelmed with another coughing attack. Once it subsides, I look up to see everyone staring at me expectantly. "I don't have any good jokes," I clarify as my eyes move across the table, eyeing up each of them.

"Bull shit!" Fin chuckles out. "You told me one the other day. What was it about? U-haul and les—"

"Ooookay!" I immediately cut him off, knowing full well that he was about to repeat one of my jokes about lesbians. For some reason I don't feel very comfortable talking about lesbians with all my fellow detectives while our ADA has her fingers inside of me.

Alex looks at me curiously with an arched eyebrow. "Lesbians, huh?" Alex asks, punctuating her questions with a firm stroke of her fingers forward, scraping my sensitive walls.

My lower half squirms under her touch as pleasure rolls over me and I force my eyes open. "Uh—what do you call a perp with one black eye?" I quickly ask; any joke, despite how stupid it may be, is better than talking about lesbians right now.

"Oh! I've heard this one," Munch explains as his face brightens up. Great, is he really going to steal the punch line—literally—from me? "He hit a doorknob!"

We all look at him as if he's an idiot before I roll my eyes—mostly because Alex just stroked me again. "No, a quick confession," I tell him as the table bursts out into laughter. Munch looks confused for a second before he joins in on the laughing.

I look over at Alex, the only one who doesn't seem to be laughing. "And that's why your confessions get thrown out," Alex taunts as she slips her fingers out of me before thrusting back in. My back arches as I bite my lip to keep from making any noise.

"Ooooh, low blow, Cabot! Way to bring Liv to her knees." Elliot states with a whistle. All of the boys chuckle but Alex doesn't make a sound as she looks over at me.

"That's where I like her," Alex husks out as she licks her lips before picking up her wine glass and taking a small sip, somehow remaining perfectly calm while I'm left blushing. Her fingers stay imbedded inside of me as she strokes them firmly forward, twisting them around every so often.

"Dayyyy-um," Fin drawls out as he glances between the both of us, no doubt observing the blush sweeping across my face and down my neck. Hell, has the blush even left my face from the moment she started this little game? "How much alcohol have you had to drink, Counselor?" Fin teases.

Alex tips her glass all the way back, swallowing down the remainder of the red liquid before setting down her glass. "Mm, not nearly enough," She responds as she slides the glass forward. I'm surprised no one has noticed that Alex is using her left hand rather than her dominate right hand. Are they seriously that oblivious?

"I'll get you another," Elliot states as he prepares himself to rise up from his stool. Somehow he had been declared as the drink runner since he was the one sitting on the outside of the booth.

"Thank you, but that's quite alright, Elliot," Alex says as she looks down to my beer glass. "You don't mind sharing, do you?" She asks me as she reaches over and takes my mug before I have the chance to respond. She curls her fingers forward at the same moment she brings my glass to her lips and drinks some of my beer. I groan out softly before catching myself, hoping that no one else heard me.

Before she has the chance to set my beer down, I lean over so that my lips are pressed up against her ear. "It's not like we haven't swapped spit before," I whisper just low enough for her to hear before placing my hand over hers and directing the mug to my lips.

I take a swig as she chuckles softly. "That's not exactly a turn-on, Liv," She whispers in response, referring to my blunt remark. I turn back to her to respond but my witty retort is lost as she slips a third finger inside of me, stretching me to an uncomfortable level considering the constraint of my slacks.

"Get a room!" Elliot quips as he chuckles at his own joke. I glance around the table, looking for something to throw at him but I can't blame him for his response. Fin and Munch were also looking at us intently as the previous scene unfolded. Everyone was well aware of the sexual tension surrounding us, even before we started fucking each other.

Alex looks at me for a moment longer as her fingers slowly pull out of me and trace over my straining bundle before facing Elliot. "Better yet, why don't you leave?" She asks and I know that if I could see her face, there would be a smirk on it. All of the boys break out in laughter as Elliot flushes, not expecting Alex to have such a good comeback. Hell, I didn't even know Alex had such good comebacks. I guess I'm learning a lot of new things about her. If I had the mental capacity to praise her for her response I would, but instead I'm far too busy trying to keep myself from moaning out.

Her fingers circle my clit repeatedly, applying direct pressure every now and then and I can't help it as I lean back into the booth, supplying her with a bit more wiggle room. Her fingers slip back inside of me and I pray for a quick release as she strokes against my front walls with increasing intensity. I'm oblivious to the uncomfortable silence that they table as slipped into even though that should be the one thing I'm paying attention to as I try my best not to make a single sound. I want so desperately to roll my eyes back at the waves of pleasure that are washing over me but Alex isn't making this easy.

Munch fills in the silence a few beats later and Fin instantly starts arguing with him, drawing attention away from Alex and me. I sigh in relief softly as I feel her skilled fingers taking me higher and higher, oh so close to ecstasy. After a few more seconds of soft moving inside of me, she rubs her fingers forcefully forward, quickening her pace as she stimulates my front walls. I bite my lip in response, my toes curling as that feeling builds rapidly in my lower belly before finally uncoiling. I let out a shaky breath as my insides constrict around her fingers, convulsing repeatedly as she pushes her fingers in and out of me slowly, dragging out my orgasm.

"You look like you're about to explode, partner." Elliot's voice penetrates through my cotton filled ears and my head jerks up to meet his smirk. I mouth something resembling a "what" since I'm not quite capable of talking yet. "Your face is redder than Fin's shirt," Elliot chuckles out as everyone looks at me before looking down at Fin's blood red shirt.

"I—" I croak out before stopping immediately. My voice sounds like a pubescent boy with the way it's cracking right now; damn her and her skilled fingers. I feel those nimble fingers slip out of me and I bite back a groan as I force myself to breathe out slowly.

"You look like you're about to pass out. Are you feeling alright, Olivia?" Alex asks me as she turns to look at me, her face filled with concern. I faintly hear my zipper slide back into place.

"Yeah, headache," I whisper out as I cover my face with both of my hands and rub my temples.

Alex continues to look at me with concern filled eyes even though she knows she's the reason for my distress. "Why don't we go to the restroom so you can splash some cold water on your face and we'll see if that makes you feel better?" Alex offers up as covertly takes her beer-stained napkin off of the table in order to wipe off her wet fingers. "Maybe I should take you home."

I nod as she slides out of the booth and tugs me along with her, leading us to the restroom. I can feel all the guys watching us as we go but it's not like this can get any more embarrassing. Once we're inside the restroom, I slip into a stall to clean myself up because Alex showed no restraint when it came to spreading around my excitement.

Once I'm done, I head straight for the sink, washing my hands before splashing water over my face. I can feel her eyes on me and I glance over slightly as she squirts some soap on her hands and turns on the water. I can faintly see the remnants of the napkin on her three fingers from where it clung to my wetness. Ugh. She washes away any trace of our encounter and heads for the door, leaning against the wall as she waits for me. "Would you like a ride home?" She offers up as she patiently waits.

I don't bother responding as I continue dousing my face with water. Once I feel like the embarrassment is washed off my face, I grab a paper towel and wipe off the water running down my face. "Elliot drove me here."

"And I can drive you home," Alex states as she pulls open the door and gestures for me to walk through. I exit the restroom with her right behind me and head for the table. Before we can reach the table, Alex grabs onto my arm and pulls me back slightly. "Tell Elliot I'll be taking you home."


	12. Need

"Whatever happened to stopping this?" I ask the moment we walk through her front door. I didn't bother questioning the fact that she drove straight to her place and not to mine; I'm well aware of what she wants. She continues walking into her apartment without glancing back at me, shedding her clothes as she goes. First her briefcase by the door, then her jacket, followed by those amazing heels. I follow her into her bed room where she finally turns to me as she unbuttons her blouse.

I look at her curiously as she blinks a few times, steadying her hands as she continues unbuttoning her shirt. Her expression almost looks…pained. "Alex, are you okay?" I ask her as I take a few steps closer to her, stopping her shaking hands.

"Fine," She quickly replies as she closes her eyes and sighs. I'm not sure if the sudden weakness in her knees is from close proximity to me or not.

"You don't look well," I tell her as I lead her backwards until she's at the foot of the bed. I guide her into a sitting position and brush a few stray locks of hair out of her face.

"Just a headache," She replies as her head moves forward, almost as if she's trying to increase the touch between us.

"I'm pretty sure that was my excuse," I tease as I wait for her to smile but she doesn't. Something is actually off about her but something tells me it isn't just a headache. "Alex, tell me what's wrong." She simply shakes her head in response before returning to unbuttoning her blouse. She continues to shakily pop off the buttons so I take over for her, finally allowing her shirt to be removed from her shoulders.

I guide her to her feet so that I can remove her pants but she pushes away from me the moment I reach down. "Don't touch me," She rushes out but her voice isn't filled with anger like I expected it to be. It almost sounds scared.

I pull my hands away and hold them up in submission. "I'm only trying to help. Tell me what's wrong." She finally manages to get her pants off and lets them fall to the floor—something she never does. She typically folds them or at least lays them out straight on the leather seat. I watch her closely as she throws the covers back on her bed, pushing the excess pillows onto the floor before practically falling into her bed, immediately curling up into a ball. I hesitantly walk over to her, laying a gentle touch on her exposed shoulder. "You're tense," I state as I press my hand into her back, waiting to see if she's going to tell me to leave.

"I don't feel well," She finally mutters as she pulls an arm over her head in an attempt to cover her face. I don't let that discourage me as I run my hand up and down her shoulder, tracing her tense muscles. I apply a bit more pressure and begin to knead the knots out of her back and she relaxes under my touch, spreading out ever so slightly as I continue my motions.

When she's spread out enough, I gingerly climb onto her bed and sit there as both of my hands massage her bare back, trailing up and down her smooth skin. There's something almost sensual about the way her body is reacting to me but I try my best to ignore it; she's not feeling well. After a few minutes, my hands migrate down to the swell of her ass, jumping over it as I continue my massage across the backs of her thighs. Her legs immediately clench together as her body tightens up. I pause before pulling back as she begins to shake a bit. "Alex?"

She shakes her head slightly as she buries her head further into the pillows. "It hurts," She finally mumbles into the pillow.

"What?" I ask her as I scoot up on the bed a bit, trying to hear her better.

"You," She answers before pausing. Me? I'm about to ask what she's talking about when she speaks up again. "I—please touch me." I continue to look down at her, bewildered, before hesitantly placing my hands back on her lower back, massaging there. Once her body seems to relax a bit, I slide back down to her thighs but she doesn't cringe this time in response; this time she instinctively widens her legs for me. "Higher." I trail my hands up the back of her thighs, cupping her ass before sliding back down, allowing my thumbs to stroke the inside of her thighs. My hands still as warmth surrounds them and everything clicks into place.

I can feel her heat radiating through her underwear and now I know what she wants. But this time it's different; she doesn't just want it, she needs it. "Turn over," I tell her as I pull my hands away, enticing her to follow my orders. She does as she's told, exposing her face to me for a second before swinging an arm over it. I look down at her for a few seconds before straddling her body and pressing mine against hers. I kiss her neck gently, trailing kisses everywhere my lips can reach.

She squirms under my touch as my hands stroke up and down her sides while my lips trace over the exposed skin across her collarbone. I kiss my way along the protruding bone before slipping down lower; I can taste the light sheen of salty sweat that covers her body and it's dizzying. I continue kissing down chest until I'm at the swell of her breasts where I proceed to circle it with kisses. "Please," She whispers as her hands finally lift up off of the bed to rest on the flexing muscles of my lower back. "Please, it hurts. I need you."

I place a soft kiss over her breasts, trying to communicate my understanding. Personally, I have only ever been painfully aroused once in my life but I know it's next to impossible to satiate by yourself. Her prone, desperate body makes me wonder how often she tried to get herself off since the last time we slept together. It also makes me wonder why she didn't seek out another warm body to take care of her. Either way, she wants me to satiate her now and I'm going to show her just how well I can take care of her.

I trace my tongue along her nipple, not quite touching it but the sensation is already driving her crazy. I can see her nipple hardening in response, straining for my touch and I don't deny her any longer as I wrap my lips around it. My hand goes up to cup her other breast, kneading the flesh as her nipple digs into my palm. I trace my thumb over a nipple at the same time my tongue toys with the other, eliciting a soft moan from her as her lower half rises up to me before dropping back down to the mattress. "Please," She repeats again, this time in a strangled whisper.

I continue lavishing her breasts with attention, enjoying the feeling of her straining under my touch before moving on. I kiss my way down her torso, dipping my tongue in her navel and then kissing back up to her breasts. She groans out, most likely in disapproval since I moved away from where she wants me the most but I ignore it. I reach her face once more and lay a soft kiss on her lips, not deepening it any further. I peck her lips again before peppering her cheek with a series of kisses as I guide her arm off of her face so that I can see those beautiful blue eyes.

They're still pinched closed so instead I kiss her eyelids gently before sliding back down her body. My fingers trace over the curve of her hips as I trace my lips along the taut skin there, headed toward her heat. The tips of my fingers hook into the sides of her underwear before dragging it slowly down her long legs, laying a few random kisses along her smooth thighs. Once the last barrier is gone, she drops her legs open, exposing herself fully for me but I'm not quite ready to satiate her yet.

She groans softly as I kiss up the inside of her thighs and I watch curiously as her inner thigh muscles strain due to her attempt to widen her legs even further for me. I apply pressure with my lips to the quivering muscle before sliding over to her slick wetness. She's glistening for me, practically begging for my touch. I gently swipe my tongue through her wetness, attempting to apply the lightest touch that I can but she screams out in response anyway, her hips thrusting up but stopping as she tries to control herself.

I pin her hips back down to the mattress with my hands as I rest my tongue over her outer lips, staying there as her moans subside before tracing through her wetness once more. This time, her thrusting hips are more subtle as she tries to restrain herself but I know these gentle thrusts are driving her crazy. Then again, I also know what she really needs and it's not a quick fuck much like we have done in the past.

I continue to hold down her hips with my palms as my thumbs seek out her outer lips, separating them so that I have better access to her. I slide my tongue into her a bit, still rather restrained from our position but she responds instantaneously, crying out in a mixture of pain and pleasure. Instead of thrusting, I rhythmically press my tongue against her, almost in a wavelike pattern, stimulating her in a less direct way. Soft moans and pants fill my ears as her hips rotate against the bed, their movement limited by my hold on her.

I continue my motions, dipping my tongue back into her every so often before dragging my tongue up to her straining bundle of nerves. I don't want to apply direct pressure because I can tell that she's so wound up that it wouldn't give her the gratification that she's seeking. She doesn't need a quick release; she needs an effective release. She needs to be built up so high that she's helpless to stop herself from falling over the edge and hurling into oblivion.

My mouth continues to work around her straining bundle as my right hand slips between her legs, very carefully sliding one finger into her tight core. I can feel her muscles instinctively convulsing around my finger as I push it completely in. A longer, more dragged out moan fills the room as I push that finger forward, seeking out that spongey section of flesh inside of her that I know will drive her crazy. Her hips jerk ever so slightly as I find it and I don't waste in time in pressing against it, drawing slow but firm circles into the rough tissue.

Her inner walls clamp down on my finger, slowing but not quite stopping its movements. "It's okay, you can let go," I husk out before returning my lips to her core, blowing hot air across her wetness as I continue stimulating her with my finger. Her walls tighten in response to my words and her breath hitches. "Let go for me, Alex." I increase my pace slightly, rubbing in faster circles hoping that she'll finally tip over the edge. Her strangled cry fills the room, flooding my ears as her inner walls convulse desperately around my finger. I continue stroking her gently as her hips jerk forward and the inner muscles of her thighs clench up in response, trying to contract much like the rest of her.

I kiss my way up her body, milking the last of her orgasm as I go. Her eyes are pinched shut and her head is thrown back in a mixture of pain and pleasure. Her blonde locks are tossed across the pillow, spread out almost like a halo, framing her beautiful face. My lips seek out hers, finally kissing her the way I've wanted to for weeks. It's slow, precise, gentle. Her body finally relaxes back into the mattress and she return my kiss, keeping it gentle. She opens up her mouth a bit to me and I suck on her lower lip, gently tugging at it with my teeth before letting it slip out. I reclaim her mouth once more and our tongues meld together, dancing rather than dueling for control like usual.

We continue our tantalizing dance before I finally pull away. I look down at her crystal clear blue eyes; her pupils are no longer dilated much like they were before. She looks up at me, not blinking once as we gaze into each other's eyes before I feel her hands weave into my hair. She pulls me back down and reclaims my mouth, allowing our lips to slide together in sync, tongues leisurely tasting and exploring everything.

Once we're both too tired to continue, I pull away and allow myself to flop down on the mattress next to her. Instead of turning away from me, she presses up against me, curling into my side as she rests her head against my shoulder. She tosses an arm over my waist, pulling our bodies closer together before insinuating a leg between mine, tangling our bodies together.

Hours after her breathing has steadied, I'm left staring up at her ceiling much like our first night together. Except this time, she's not turned away from me. This time she's curled up against me, clinging to me like she needs me. This time it wasn't rough, hot, and sweaty fucking. This time it was slow, deliberate, and passionate—I don't even know what to call it but it wasn't fucking.

It was different. She was different. I was different. If only we could remain that way come morning.


	13. Running

There's no surprise when I wake up to Alex shuffling through her closet, still completely nude. I take a second to admire the sinewy muscles stretching across her back before my eyes find their way to her ass. It's no secret that Alex is a runner considering how amazing her legs are but the lesser known secret is how fantastic of an ass she has. Perfectly sculptured and just the right size for me to cup. Another lesser known secret? She loves it when I possessively grab her rear.

She continues shuffling around, grabbing a pair of light blue running shorts and a white tank top before turning around and freezing when she sees that I'm awake. "Running away, huh?" I ask her as I glance down to the jogging shorts that she now has awkwardly positioned in front of her naked body, trying to lessen the awkwardness of the situation.

"Am I not allowed to go for a run?" She counters as she continues to cover herself before giving up and setting her clothes to the side so that she could put on her underwear. She slips it on before grabbing a sports bra and slipping it on over her head, struggling to straighten it out as her perfect breasts bounce in response to the struggle.

I subconsciously lick my lips at the sight before shaking those thoughts out of my head. This was supposed to stop. I'm not supposed to be waking up in her bed at—I turn to look for a clock but there is none. "Depends, do you plan on coming back from that run?"

She glares at me for a second before pulling on her shorts and walking over to her closet, removing a pair of black running shoes. "Depends, will you be gone by the time I get back?" She counters as she tosses the shoes to the side before looking for a pair of socks.

"Seriously, Alex?" I ask incredulously as I push myself up into a sitting positon on her bed.

Her motions still but she doesn't bother turning back around. "What?" She asks with an exasperated sigh.

"What?" I mock as I push myself out of her bed and walk toward her. "Are you seriously asking me what right now? You're running, just like you always do when it comes to me," I state as I watch the muscles on her back tense in response to my close proximity. Her blonde hair is still resting around her shoulders, ruffled in the sexiest way from sleeping. "Tell me why."

"You and I," She pauses as she takes in a deep breath before continuing. "You and I aren't compatible."

"We seemed pretty compatible last night," I counter and I can see her shoulders tensing as she cringes slightly. Is she running from what happened last night? Does she honestly think I forgot not only what we did but how we did it?

"Olivia—"

"No, Alex," I cut her off before she gets the chance to spew more of her nonsense. "Don't lie to me. You needed me last night."

"I needed a sexual release. Not you," She counters as she finally turns around to look at me, her face set in stone revealing nothing.

"You're lying," I counter as I take a step closer to her. Her mask wavers slightly before she catches herself, steadying her cool demeanor once more. "You needed me. Otherwise you would've slept with someone else but you didn't for those two weeks, right? Tell me I'm right."

Finally her façade cracks and she closes her eyes, sighing softly as I press my body against hers, letting her know that I'm not leaving. "You're right," She whispers as she attempts to wrap her arms around herself in a protective manner but my body pressed against hers stops her.

"Why, Alex? Why do you keep running from me?" I press on. I need to know what's going on in her mind.

"It's not you," She whispers so softly I'm afraid that I misheard her. "I'm not running from you." My anger subsides at her words and I want nothing more than to pull her into my arms and hug her but that's not what she wants. Everything about her body is telling me that she wants me as far away as possible from her. She doesn't want any sense of physical or emotional comfort and I don't understand why.

"Last night you let me touch you in ways that you denied me before," I state as I take a step back, allowing her what little comfort she can grasp onto from our distance. "It was different."

She stays quiet and I take a step back, giving her space. Once I'm no longer pressed up against her, she grabs her tank top and pulls it on over her head, before slipping on her socks. She kneels down and slips on a shoe before pausing to look up at me. "Would you like to join me?" Her words take me by surprise as I continue to stare down at her. She gets up off of the ground and shuffles through her closet before tossing some clothes at me. "Get dressed if you want to go."

I study her for a few seconds before stripping down and putting on the clothes that she handed me. There's an extra pair of running shoes on the ground by the time I'm done and I put those on as well, surprised that they actually fit. I follow her out of her apartment and down to the street before she starts jogging. I run after her, easily catching up before falling into a steady pace. We don't say anything as we run, there's merely the sound of our feet hitting the pavement as she leads me into a park. I finally take a moment to look around. There are cars out but there aren't many people and the sun isn't up yet which makes me think it's roughly six in the morning.

We continue jogging for half an hour and I struggle slightly to keep up with her. It's obvious that this is her normal running routine and while I'm incredibly fit, I was never really one to run long distance. I was always better at short spurts of energy to chase down perps.

Finally, she slows down her jog, allowing me to catch my breath as she heads back to her apartment. Once inside, she takes a moment to stretch out her lean muscles before escorting me to her spare bathroom and pointing out fresh towels. I take the hint and strip out of my clothes before climbing into the shower.

The hot water feels good; I'm finally able to have a quiet moment to myself to think. I wonder if that's what Alex is doing right now as well. Obviously she's showering since she sent me to her spare shower. Her scent fills my nostrils but it's still missing something as I lather on shampoo and then conditioner. There is something so uniquely her that isn't quite covered by her bath products alone. Once I'm sure all the soap is off of my body, I turn off the water and quickly towel dry myself before freezing. Whoops, guess I forgot clothes. I wrap the towel around my body and exit the bathroom and head toward her bathroom.

When I get there, she's already slipping into a pair of well-worn blue jeans. "I set some clothes out for you on the bed," She tells me as she grabs a sweatshirt and slips it on over her black bra, not even bothering to put on a shirt first. I glance over at the bed where there's a Harvard law shirt and a pair of pants. I internally groan at her choice of clothing for me but I have a feeling she did that on purpose. I change into her clothes, slightly surprised that they're not as constricting as I expected considering her thin frame.

By the time I'm dressed, she's already pulling her hair up into a wet, messy ponytail and headed toward the door again. I follow her, wondering where she's going as she pulls open her apartment door once more and gestures for me to exit. I'm half expecting her to shut the door behind me but instead she follows me out, locking the door behind me. We head down to the street and I follow her for a few blocks before she steps into a small breakfast joint.

She walks in without saying a word and the waitress smiles at her. "Two this time, huh?" The waitress asks with a smirk as she grabs two menus and gestures for us to follow her. We sit down and the waitress rattles off the specials before taking our drink orders.

I flip through the menu, hardly processing the different dishes because I'm too busy trying to figure out what the hell is going on. It's not that I don't mind going on runs with her and going out to breakfast with her but it's slightly odd considering we were just arguing about how I want us to be something more and she wants to stop this completely. "The stuffed French toast is amazing," Alex tells me and I finally look up at her. Her blues eyes are sparkling again in that special way that she seems to reserve for me.

I flip through the menu before finding the stuffed French toast. It certainly does sound good and I nod in response. "What can I get you two?" The waitress asks as she sets down our drinks and slides them over.

"Two of the stuffed French toast," Alex tells her without even waiting for me to order. I guess she knows me well enough to be able to tell what I want. I close the menu and hand it over to the waitress.

"Alright, coming right up," She tells us as she collects both of our menus. "Pete's in the back, Alex. He'd love to see you." Alex nods in understanding and the waitress leaves.

"I'll be right back," She tells me as she slips out of our booth and heads through the employee only door. I glance around the restaurant, finally taking in the diner-feel decorations. It's small, rather cozy, and certainly not somewhere that I'd expect Alex to eat. If I was being honest, I expected her to dress up to the nines and go to some English tea and fancy biscuit place where everything was incredibly overpriced. Or maybe somewhere with salmon for breakfast.

I'm too busy thinking about how little I know about Alex that I don't realize the waitress standing at the head of the table until she clears her throat. My eyes flicker up to hers and she offers me a smile. "She never brings anyone here, you know," The waitress tells me and I look at her in confusion. "This is the first time she hasn't come here alone."

"I'm just a coworker," I tell the lady as I glance behind her, searching for Alex but the blonde is probably otherwise preoccupied with Pete.

The waitress smirks as she shakes her head to herself. "You must be one special coworker," She quips as she looks behind her, probably searching for Alex. She turns back to me and leans down closer. "That tough, closed off exterior? Well it's just an act sweetheart. She needs somebody; don't let her drive you away."

"Margaret." The waitress smiles at me once more before straightening up and looking at Alex.

"How happy was Pete to see you?" The waitress, whose name is apparently Margaret, asks.

"He was pleasantly surprised," Alex responds as she raises an eyebrow in silent question to the waitress before sliding into the booth across from me.

"Good, good. You don't stop by enough anymore Lexi. Your food should be just about ready," She says as she heads back toward the kitchen. Lexi? I've never heard anyone call her Lexi before; it certainly makes her sound less threatening.

"Did you two have a nice conversation?" Alex asks me. I can tell that she's trying to figure out just what was said between the two of us.

"Yes, Margaret seems rather nice," I respond, giving her some form of an answer without revealing too much. I'm not exactly sure what the waitress meant when she told me not to let Alex push me away even though it was quite obvious. Sometimes it is the simplest things that are the most complicated. Margaret saves me from any more questions as she comes back out with two steaming plates of stuffed French toast, topped with fresh strawberries and whipped cream.

"Enjoy," She tells us as she sets them on front of us, making rather awkward eye connection with me. We both thank her before she heads off to attend to the other guests.

We both dig in, savoring the gooey cream cheese center with each bite, moaning softly to ourselves. We eat in silence for the most part until Alex finally breaks the tension. "I'm not used to this."

I look down at her plate, where her eyes seemed to have settled. "The food?" I ask, not quite sure what she's referring to.

She continues staring down at her plate for a few seconds before looking up to me. "No. This," She says as she waves her fork between the two of us before placing it down on her plate. "I'm not used to having anyone else around me."

"Margaret told me I'm the first person you've ever brought here," I tell her and her eyes widen slightly before hiding her surprise.

"You are," She responds as she traces her finger along the outside of her water glass, wiping off the condensation as she goes. "You're the first person I've ever gone on a run with as well." The silence engulfs us and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say. I glance around, looking at a few of the other customers before catching Margaret's gaze. She raises her eyebrows before turning away and chatting up a guest. "I'm not used to wanting anyone." My eyes snap back to Alex; it's pretty obvious that I'm taken off guard by her admission. "When I said I wasn't running from you…Well, I'm not."

"Then what?" I finally manage to ask.

She takes a deep breath before pulling her hand away from her cup and straightening up. "I was running from my feelings for you." She glances up at me and I try my best not to appear surprised because I have a feeling that's the last thing she wants from me. "You see, I'm not used to needing anyone. I've been on my own for as long as I can remember. I rushed my way through law school, intent on becoming an ADA before jumping to a DA. I had an end goal in mind and I had a plan of how to get there and relationships were not in that plan," She pauses before continuing, "You were not in that plan. I got away with one night stands and short relationships with a few men in order to boost my reputation but I never intended for it to grow into something more."

"So I don't fit into your plan," I tell her as I try my best to fill in the blanks. None if this explains why she pushed us past a one night stand. If that's what she was used to, why did she continue fucking me?

"No, you don't," She tells me as she tries her best to not fiddle with her hands but it's no use. She can't seem to stay focused on what she needs to say. She takes a deep breath before looking up at me. "I'm always the one who leaves. I'm the one who gets to decide who I sleep with and when and I always leave them before morning. That's how it's always been until you. _You _left me." We both look at each other for a second and I'm about to speak before she cuts me off. "I know I told you that it was only supposed to be one night and if you hadn't left, I would've gone out so that I wouldn't be there when you woke up."

"I don't understand."

"You left me, Olivia. For once, I didn't have a say in what happened. You left and you didn't bother saying anything to me. You acted as if nothing happened when you came into my office that day and I just lost it. I wanted you and I didn't want anyone else to be able to touch you the way that I did." I look at her in confusion, still not quite understanding her. She could have me if she wanted me. I've told her that so many times and yet she's intent on leaving. _I'm hers._

"Don't you get it?" She asks and I can't help it as I shake my head in response. "I think I'm falling for you." My eyebrows arch up in response, it's pretty clear that I'm taken off guard. "That's not how it's supposed to work. I'm not supposed to fall for you. I'm not supposed to date anyone. I'm supposed to focus on my career and become the DA and possibly more. You're not supposed to be in the equation."

"But I am," I finally tell her once I've shaken off my initial shock. "So what are you going to do about it?"

She shakes her head in response as she drops her gaze to the table. "I don't know."


	14. Complicated

_She shakes her head in response as she drops her gaze to the table. "I don't know."_

And that's how we ended up in this unofficial state of complete and utter confusion. Or at least it's that way for me since I can never really tell what she's thinking. She's a mystery; so upfront and yet there is so much that she's hiding from everyone, especially me. I want to tell her that we can be anything she wants but I know that would only end in disaster. She thinks she wants nothing from me and yet her heart tells her that she wants everything from me. I've known that struggle far too well before and there's really no way to win when your head and your heart are at war.

That's all I can think about as the classical movie plays softly in the background, Alex intently watching the screen as the black and white figures dance around the ballroom, not a single care in the world. She's sitting in the middle of my couch, her legs stretched out in the opposite direction of me causing her body to lean naturally toward mine. This couch used to be a reminder of our struggle for power, one of the first time I finally took charge of her but now all I can think about is how screwed up this is. It's not that I don't want to be with her, I do, but this just feels weird.

It took two days to beg and plead her into having her come over to my apartment for something other than sex. I told her that I'd cook for us but she quickly shot down that idea, instead stating that she'd bring over a movie; just another thing that she could control. I think that's when I finally realized that she likes to be in control of everything. She doesn't like the unexpected; her life is perfectly calibrated for her and I'm ruining that. Which is why it's now my goal to ruin her.

She needs to understand the feeling of submitting to someone else's rule. She needs to understand the war that has been waging in my head as well; whether or not I should stay or go. I want her in the most uncivilized way; I want to control her, dominate her, possess her, own her… And yet the other part of me wants to lavish her with attention, kiss her, cuddle up with her, just simply be with her. I guess that's why we're so good for each other; we're both messed up and delusional in some way.

Her hand conveniently lands on my upper thigh, immediately sliding up to where I know she wants to be. She doesn't even bother doing the romantic thing by drawing lazy circles against my skin and slowly trailing her fingers up my leg; no, she knows what she wants and she's not afraid to show it. I place my hand on top of hers, stopping her movements and she looks over at me with a frown.

"Not tonight," I tell her as I pick up her hand and place it back onto her own lap. As much as I want to bury my head between her legs or have her fuck me with her fingers, I won't let it happen. I was the one who wanted to be more so it's my job to make us into something more.

"You're the one who invited me over," She says, allowing her words to trail off as if my invitation was a sexual invitation and not just an innocent one. She turns to face me, crossing her arms over her chest and I force my eyes to stay on her face rather than her breasts which are rather prominently on display due to her very low cut v-neck.

"I invited you over for a movie, or more accurately I offered to cook for you but you decided on a movie. What the hell is this anyway?" I ask as I glance toward the black and white film still playing on my TV screen.

She rolls her eyes in response. "It's a classic," She counters as she finally reaches for the remote and pauses the movie as if it she couldn't stand the thought of missing a minute of it. I resist the urge to roll my eyes in response; for the first time I'm finally able to see what she meant when she said we weren't compatible. There's a reason they call her the ice princess…

"If by classic you mean incredibly boring and rather sexist, sure," I state as I grab the remote from her and turn off the TV completely.

"Well then what would you like to watch?" She counters as she leans into the sofa, keeping a substantial amount of distance between us since I rejected her advances.

"I don't know, something with a bit more action. I offered to make us dinner but you thought a movie would be better," I reply as I cross my arms over my chest, much like her, and lean back against the arm of the couch. God, I feel like we're two kids arguing in the playground over who gets the kickball.

"And I offered to make this night more interesting but you rejected that idea," She spits back at me before abruptly standing up from the couch and walk around it, toward the door.

I immediately jump up and chase after her, grabbing onto her arm in order to halt her motions. "Stop running!"

Her body spins around from the force of my pull and she looks at me in shock, her eyes dilating in arousal. The corner of her lips turn up ever so slightly while the rest of her face stays detached. "Make me."

My mind is telling me no a hundred times over and yet the slight husk in her voice is the only thing that is really registering. In the end, the animalistic side of me wins out and I push her against my door, pinning her in place with my lower half pressed firmly against her. Her eyes grow even darker as her arousal increases and I know just what she wants from me.

I reach for her the hem of her shirt, pulling it swiftly off of her torso before tossing it to the side. My hands find their way to her jeans, pulling them down her slender legs without even bothering to unzip them. She groans out in pain as the denim roughly scrapes against her pale legs, causing her skin to turn a bright red but I really don't care. Her underwear quickly follows the path of her jeans and I only pause momentarily to consider the lacy thong that she was wearing with jeans. Someone expected to get lucky tonight.

I throw that thought out the window as I forcefully press my lips against hers, no doubt bruising her lips as our teeth clash. She submitted completely to me and it's such a power trip, having her pinned against the wall for me to take. I thrust my tongue into her mouth, not bothering to explore or taste her like I normally would; this time it's about dominating her. It's about showing her who's in control. She moans into the kiss before tilting her head to the side once she needs air. I roughly grip onto her chin and force her back into the kiss, causing her to gasp against my mouth.

The desire between my legs is growing far too quickly and I'm sure she's close to the edge already considering the way she's grinding her lower half against my thigh which miraculously wound up between her legs. I can already feel her wetness seeping into the pores of my jeans as she continues to rotate her hips into the rough fabric.

And here she is, trying to take what she wants from me. I pin her hips against the door, stilling her motions as I pull my thigh away from her. There's a rather large wet spot on my jeans now that I'll no doubt have to clean off but that's the least of my worries right now. She looks at me in pure desire before I reach down and grab her thighs, hoisting her up into the air. Her hands immediately fly to my shoulder, offering her some stability as she tries to wrap her legs around my waist but that isn't her last stop, she just doesn't know it yet.

I scrape my nails down the inside of her legs, prying them off of my back before cupping underneath her knees and pushing her even further up and around my arms. I use leverage in my favor as I lower myself down while pushing her legs up and around my shoulders before rising to my full height. She's clearly taken off guard as she reaches behind herself, steadying herself against the wall. She's uncomfortable with her newfound height but I'm sure she'll find it rather enjoyable in a few seconds.

I prod her legs slightly, encouraging her thighs around my neck. She follows my lead and crosses her legs behind my back, her heels digging into my spine. Her hands find their way into my hair and that's all the consent that I need. My hands wrap around her chest, just underneath her breasts, bracing her against the wall as I press my face against her center, finally tasting her excessive arousal. She moans out, jerking her hips ever so slightly while her grip tightens around my hair as I continue licking along the length of her slit, greedily consuming her arousal.

I can feel her nails digging into my scalp once I finally thrust my tongue into her clenching center as deep as I can go. I've never actually been in this position before but it's certainly something I wouldn't mind doing again. Somehow her body seems even more open to me which makes it easier to hit certain places inside of her that drive her wild. The pain of her heels digging into my back and her weight on my shoulders hardly register as I continue devouring her, thrusting my tongue quickly in and out of her before trailing it up to circle that straining bundle of nerves that is desperate for my attention.

She tries her best not to jerk her hips, something that she's finding rather hard to do even though she knows that it could result in her falling over which would ruin the whole mood. I suck her clit into my mouth, sucking roughly on it for a few seconds before wetness floods over my chin as her thighs clench around my head, holding me far too tightly. She screams out as her orgasm hits her, rather unexpected in my opinion. I hadn't really intended to drive her over the edge so quickly but maybe the new position helped out.

I release my grip from around her chest and push her legs off of my shoulders, causing her to slide down my body rather abruptly before I catch her under her thighs, not allowing her to fall onto the ground. She looks shocked as quickly wraps her legs around my waist, still weak from her orgasm. I pull her off of the wall as she sways backwards slightly before throwing her arms around my neck and holding on for dear life as I carry her into my bedroom.

We stop against the wall outside of my room for a quick make out session where she shows no restraint when kissing off the moisture that was coating my face. I toss her down onto the mattress and her body bounces slightly against the springs before settling in place. She immediately pushes herself up right as she scoots backwards so that she's in the center of the bed. I can't help but smirk as I crawl onto the bed toward her, her eyes dilating as I approach her. A part of her is no doubt still fighting the control that I'm trying to claim but I don't intend to stop until she has completely submitted to me.

Five orgasms later—shared between the two of us—we both flop down onto the mattress as I haphazardly toss a light sheet over us. We both remain quite, much like we were during the sex, as we catch our breath. A part of me wonders if her mind is whirling as fast as mine is. We resorted back to our old ways and not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that I wanted this to be different. I didn't want this to just be about fucking each other senseless but it seems like that's where it's going.

"I told you this is the only thing we have in common," Alex pants out as she rolls over onto her back in order to stare up at my white-washed ceiling.

I guess she is thinking about this just like I am. "If we want this to work, we both have to put in the effort," I counter. Deep down I think we both know that what happened earlier with the TV was just our resistance to the idea of being in a relationship coming out. I know she's not really that hostile and neither am I. We've both seen the more sincere side of each other.

"So what does that mean? We hold hands and kiss? Go on dates? Have cute little inside jokes? That's not us, Olivia. We're fantastic together when we're in bed but outside of that we're not good for each other. You deserve someone who you can actually have a relationship with."

"I think that's for me to decide," I reply back a bit harshly. She's so intent on not having this work and it's slowly killing me. A part of me wonders if this is really worth it but then I think of her curled up against me that night and I know she's worth it. I want to be with her no matter what it takes. Even if that means meeting her halfway.


	15. The Compromise

And here I thought I was confused last week. Since our last argument, we came to the agreement that we would try to make this work—by my insistence. Of course that meant that I would have to meet her halfway and halfway meant that she'd get to use me for sex at least twice a week. Is that even a fair exchange for two dates a week? Well, I guess I can't really complain since I'm getting the best of both worlds but I still can't help but feel that something is going to go so horribly wrong.

Tonight is supposed to be our first official date since our "deal" was made and for some reason I find myself dreading it. This is what I wanted. I was the one that insisted that she let me take her out on dates because I knew that the only way we could ever hope to become something more is if we pushed our relationship past fucking.

I've been debating for the last four hours as to where I want to take her, what I want us to do, and the list goes on. For obvious reasons I've already crossed off the idea of watching a movie together. I've been considering making her dinner but she didn't seemed interested in that previously so I'm left at a stalemate. She's certainly not the type to share drinks with at a shitty bar and I'm certainly not in the mood to take her to some fancy restaurant where drinks cost twenty dollars a pop. Not that I don't think she's worth it, it's just really not my scene.

So what exactly is some blue collar worker like me supposed to do in order to impress someone as high class as her? I've already spent the last hour googling places to take her on a date but they're all shit. These date ideas are for people who hardly know each other, not two coworkers who have been fucking each other for weeks out of convenience.

"Something on your mind, partner?" I glance up to see Elliot watching me. I'm surprised it took him this long to ask me what was running through my mind but maybe my pissed off look put him off.

"Where'd you take Kathy for your first date?" I ask before he smiles slyly. "Never mind," I quickly interject before he gets the chance to tell me some sappy love story. Oh how simple it would've been to have a high school sweetheart that I married and popped out half a dozen children with…Or maybe not.

"You taking Cabot out?" Elliot asks as he raises his eyebrow suggestively. I love the guy, I really do, but sometimes he knows just how to drive me crazy. Then again it's not like he knows the struggle that I'm dealing with right now concerning her. Something tells me talking about all the lesbian sex we've had wouldn't go over too well despite his somewhat open-mindedness.

"Attempting to," I respond simply. I'm not really sure how much I want to tell him but I'm really desperate for ideas at this point.

"Just take her to some restaurant or I don't know, some art gallery opening. That seems like her type of crowd," He replies with a shrug. Oh yeah, like he's an expert on our gorgeous ADA.

"That mean that I'd have to wear a dress," I counter with a frown. He laughs at me, clearly imagining me in such attire and for some reason he thinks that's funny.

"Okay, then why don't you make her do something you like to do? Who knows, she might like it too." I contemplate his suggestion for a bit despite my initial urge to completely ignore it. That could either go drastically wrong or amazingly well…

Oh what the hell. I pull out my phone and send her a short text that will no doubt confuse the hell out of her. _7:00 tonight, wear workout clothes. _

* * *

I'm still debating whether or not I want to go through with this when she opens up the door, clad in running tights and a Harvard Law t-shirt with her hair pulled up into a ponytail. God she just looks so damn cute. How is it possible for someone so vicious to look that adorable? She looks me over once and seems to approve that we're dressed similarly and that I wasn't just screwing with her. "So where are we going?" She asks me as I walk down to the street with her where my car is waiting.

"It's a surprise," I tell her as I walk to the passenger side first and open up the door for her. It almost looks like she's glaring at me as she enters my car without saying anything, allowing me to shut the door once she's inside. I enter the driver's side and after ten minutes of awkwardly fiddling with the radio, we're at our destination.

We enter the building and I'm surprised that she doesn't say anything. She simply looks around curiously, probably wondering why the hell we're here of all places. I hold out a piece of paper and a pen in front of her. "You need to sign this," I tell her and she glances down at the waiver before taking it from me. She scribbles her familiar signature across the bottom before handing it back to me.

Once all of the boring stuff is done, I lead her over to the wall. She stands at the base, glancing up the forty foot wall in silence. Finally, she looks back at me. "Rock climbing?" I nod in response as I hold out the harness for her. She looks down at it and then back up to me with the strangest look on her face. "You don't actually expect me to climb up _that_, do you?" She asks as she points up the ceiling as if the wall was really that high.

"I do," I reply as I restrain myself from laughing. I can't say I've ever seen her look so afraid of something before. I start to wonder whether or not she has a fear of heights and I'm starting to think she does. "Come on, I'll belay you," I tell her as I prompt her to put on the harness. She looks at me like I'm crazy before stepping into the harness.

"What does that even mean?" She asks as she holds up the harness awkwardly, looking at the different components in an attempt to figure out how to tighten it.

I chuckle as I kneel down in front of her, tightening the straps around her thighs before adjusting the waist. She squirms slightly as I tighten the harness, ensuring that there's proper support for her. "It means that there will be a rope tied to you and I'll be holding it so that in case you fall, I'll catch you."

Her eyes widen as she glances back up at the wall and me. "You expect me to climb that wall while you're holding the rope attached to me? Are you crazy?"

This time I can't stop myself as I laugh out loud, I guess I should've clarified. "The rope will be tied in a special way to my harness to ensure that you won't fall." She still looks at me like I'm crazy as I adjust my harness and loop the rope properly. "I promise I won't let you fall," I assure her but it doesn't seem to calm her nerves. I watch her curiously as she wipes her palms against her spandex nervously before I grab onto her hands. "Sweaty palms make it harder to climb," I tell her as she blushes slightly.

"I can't help it, I don't really like heights." I guess I was right about her being afraid of heights.

"It'll be fine," I tell her as I grab the chalk bag attached to my harness and direct her to place her hands inside. She follows my instructions and her nose crinkles up slightly as she dusts the excess chalk off. "It'll make it easier to climb," I explain before pointing toward the wall. "Follow the red grips. It's the easiest path. If you're scared, just take a deep breath. If at any point you want to come back down just let me know and I'll instruct you on how to do so, okay?"

She glances down at her harness and back to me before nodding. After a few minutes of hesitation, she finally reaches up for one of the grips and pulls herself up, placing a foot on the lowest peg. "You're doing fine," I tell her as she looks back at me before reaching up for another grip.

A few minutes later, she's about halfway up the wall, attempting to reach for a grip but shying away from doing so. "I can't reach it," She tells me as she tries for it once more but returns to her current hold.

"Yes you can," I reply as I watch her try once more. "Lift up your left foot as you reach, I promise you won't fall." She hesitates a couple more times before lifting up her left foot and finally grabbing onto the grip that she was reaching for. "There you go!" She looks back down at me with a smile on her face before she scales the rest of the wall, finally reaching the top.

"Alright, you're just going to go ahead and lean back, grab onto the rope, and push off with your feet. I'll give you enough slack. Just try not to push off sideways," I instruct her as she clings to the top of the wall, looking back down at me which probably isn't the best idea. "You'll be fine, I promise! I've got you," I assure her and finally she allows herself to release her hold on the wall. She scales down rather effectively for a first timer, swaying slightly as she finally lands on the pads that line the ground. "Good job."

She has a huge grin on her face that she's clearly trying to suppress but it's not working. "That was only mildly nightmare inducing," She teases me as she tries to take off the harness. I loosen up the harness while helping her step out of it.

"I didn't know you were afraid of heights," I tell her as I set the harness to the side and she stretches out her legs.

"Heights and spiders," She mumbles sheepishly. "What about you? Does Detective Benson have any irrational phobias?"

I shrug as I remove my harness as well and lead her over to the much smaller free climbing wall. I seek out the harder course before jumping onto the wall and quickly scaling myself up it. "I don't really like the idea of swimming in the ocean way out from the shore," I tell her as I glance up at the green grip rather far away from me.

"That's pretty reasonable," She replies as she watches me climb up. Great, now I really can't do anything stupid. I pause as I eye up the grip before launching myself up, somehow managing to grab it with one hand before swinging my legs up to another peg. "That was…impressive," Alex states and I try my best not to smile. I've never been able to make that jump before but maybe having someone to impress helps. I finish up the rest of the wall before jumping down onto the mat.

"Want to give it a go?" I ask as she looks around at the smaller wall. "Climb along the red grips again and you'll be fine."

"What if I fall?" She asks as she places her hands on the lowest grips.

"I'll catch you," I state with a shrug.

She glances back at me with a "yeah right" look on her face. "Really? You're going to catch me as I drop down ten feet?"

"You're tall so really it's only like six feet," I counter as she laughs before grabbing onto the grips and pulling herself up. She hesitates again as she glances around at a much higher red grip. "Swing your left leg up," I tell her as I place my hand against her left thigh, encouraging her to push it up.

She does as I say, swaying suddenly as her hand slips. Instinctively, I reach up and cup her rear, holding her up so that she doesn't fall. She quickly regains her grip before glancing back down at me with a raised eyebrow. "Was this just an excuse to feel me up?"

I chuckle in response as I let my hands fall back down to my side since she seems to be stable again. "You do have a nice ass," I reply as she looks back down to gawk at me. I smirk as I playfully slap her ass causing her to gasp in surprise before she shakes off her shock and climbs the rest of the way up the wall. She really does have a nice ass, especially as she's climbing up the wall.

She climbs back down, rather than jumping, and shakes out her arms. "Rock climbing is a much harder workout than I thought," She tells me as she massages her shoulder slightly. Instinctively I take over and kneed out the knots in her shoulders as she drops her arms back down to her side, leaning in to my touch. "So are you going to take me home now?" She asks suggestively.

"Nope, we're not done yet," I tell her as I collect our gear and turn everything back in. "I think you deserve a reward for your bravery." She looks at me with a raised eyebrow and I shake my head in response. God, she's insatiable. We both know she only has one thing on her mind right about now but that's not how I want this night to end.

* * *

"It's a good thing we worked out before this," She tells me as she takes another step closer to me, allowing our arms to brush up against one another as we walk back toward her apartment. After rock climbing, we headed back to her place to drop off my car before I took her to one of my favorite gelato places.

"So I take it you liked it?" I ask her as she scoops the last bit of her gelato from the bowl and sucks the gooey sweetness off of the spoon. I try my best not to stare but really it's rather impossible with such a gorgeous woman right next to me.

"Yes, thank you," She tells me as we continue walking down the street back toward her apartment. I take her empty bowl and toss it in a trashcan. "Thank you for that and for rock climbing, it was certainly…different," She says as she wraps her arm around mine and holds onto my sleeve.

There's no point in stopping the smile that graces my face at the intimate gesture as we walk up to her apartment complex. I pause outside and she turns to me almost hesitantly. "Do you want to come in?"

I raise an eyebrow at her gesture and she simply grins in response. "Why Ms. Cabot, this is only our first date," I tease her in my botched attempt at a southern accent.

She playfully slaps my arm before pulling me inside the building. "At least walk me to my door," She offers up even though I know that she really wants me to join her for the night but I can't say no to her. We take the elevator up to her floor and I walk her to her door. She pauses as the door mechanism unlocks, turning back to me.

Her hands immediately find their way into my hair, pulling me against her which in turn pins her against the front door. My hands shoot up to brace myself against the door as she connects our lips, hungrily kissing me. My mind goes blank as I drop my hands from the door, instead finding purchase on her hips as I press my lower half against her, gripping her hips tightly as we deepen the kiss.

It's certainly not a kiss that one would expect on a first date but then again we were never typical; the kiss is simply us. Somehow my thumbs find their way pushing up her shirt ever so slightly so that I can stroke the soft skin right above the waist line of her pants. I don't even bother worrying about being seen or heard since she's the only apartment on this floor.

I force myself to pull away before she has a chance to start touching me since I know after that point it would be next to impossible to stop her. "I should go," I whisper softly as we both pant out, her hands still lingering around my neck from the kiss.

She leans forward and presses a chaste kiss against my lips before pulling back, staring intently at my lips. She glances back up to my eyes once more before connecting our lips again and pulling back. She's slowly starting to break down my will; there's something so sensual about the way she kisses. "I don't suppose I can cash in my part of the deal right now?" She asks as her eyes flicker back down to my lips.

I groan out as my eyes close, dozens of images of her naked body flashing through my mind. I wanted this to be a formal date where I took her out and then dropped her off at home with nothing more than a goodbye kiss but that thought left my mind the moment she forced me to pin her up against the door. She presses her lips back against mine again in a less than chaste kiss before pulling away a few inches. "You can say no," She tells me and I shiver in response to the feeling of her warm breath flowing over me.

Does she honestly expect me to say no to her? I blindly reach for the door knob, pushing it open as we both stumble through the door frame. I catch her from falling backwards as I kick the door shut, leading her toward her bedroom. The few seconds it takes to get to her bedroom are frantic; she's pulling off my shirt while I'm trying to get rid of hers as well. Somehow our shoes managed to come off without one of us tripping.

Once we're in her bedroom, I stop paying attention; I continue walking her backward, waiting for her legs to hit against her mattress but instead she falls down, dragging me with her. I quickly brace myself on my forearms so that I don't smack into her face and we both awkwardly laugh at our position. She tries to get us back in the mood, running her hands up and down my bare sides before reaching for my shorts and pushing them down my legs. I push myself off of her slightly, kicking off my shorts before grabbing onto her hips and hoisting her up so that she's fully on the bed rather than bent over it uncomfortably.

She slides her way to the center of the bed while skillfully pushing her running tights down her long legs. I immediately take over, climbing onto the bed and pulling them off the rest of the way. I stop to admire the black lace thong which explains why her ass looked and felt so fantastic earlier when she was climbing. She wastes no time in getting rid of her underwear and bra, pushing them to the side of the bed. I follow her lead and strip down the rest of the way before laying the length of my body along hers, connecting our lips again in a heated kiss.

We duel for control momentarily before she submits to me, allowing my tongue to enter her mouth. I can still taste the hints of chocolate from the gelato in her mouth and it's absolutely intoxicating. I feel her legs wrap around my waist before I'm suddenly on my back. She smiles at me deviously from her position above me as she reaches over to the table by her bed. She rummages around in the drawer before withdrawing a double sided dildo.

I raise an eyebrow as she slides down my body, laying random kisses across my abdomen, scraping her teeth across my skin every so often. She peers up at me over her black frames as she trails her tongue down the line of my abdomen, dipping into my navel before sliding even lower. And here I thought I had already seen her in the sexiest ways…Alex Cabot looking at you over those fucking glasses while trailing her tongue down your body, need I say more?

She looks up at me slightly surprised as she teases my entrance with two fingers before thrusting two in and pumping fast and hard a few times. My eyes immediately clamp shut and I moan out in approval before she extracts her fingers far too soon. "Looks like I don't even need lube," She says as she takes the smaller end of the dildo, preparing to put it inside of me. "Maybe I should be on the safe side," She husks out before taking it into her mouth, sucking on it while maintaining eye contact with me. She extracts the smaller end from her mouth before tracing her tongue around the tip of it, slowly driving me crazy.

She flashes me a smirk before slipping her fingers inside of me, opening me up to the dildo. She wastes no time in sliding it in rather easily; like she said, I've supplied more than enough lubrication thanks to her sexy display a few seconds earlier. She presses against the dildo, keeping it inside of me as her hand trails down to her own sex. I watch, enthralled as her fingers dip down between her legs and she bites her lower lip before extracting her fingers.

She holds her fingers up to me, glistening from her arousal. "Do you think I'm wet enough to take all of you?" She husks out as I reach out for her wrist, pulling her fingers toward my mouth so that I can taste her. Her eyes widen in surprise before slipping shut while I trace her fingers with my tongue, swirling and prying them apart.

After a few more seconds, she finally regains her control and extracts her fingers from my mouth, replacing them with her mouth. She moans against my lips, humming in approval before she pulls back, allowing me to speak. "Better safe than sorry," I somehow manage to rasp out and her eyes dilate immediately in response. She slides her way back down my body, again, looking at me as she hovers her mouth over the protruding end of the dildo. She teases me for a few seconds before sliding it completely into her mouth, rotating her head which in return moves the shorter end inside of me.

I groan out in approval as my hands ball up, scraping at her bedsheets before I realize there's a much better place for me to hold onto. My fingers find their way to her head, pulling out her hair tie before weaving into her hair. I simply follow the rhythm of her bobbing head with my hands, too afraid to try to control her during a moment like this.

After long minutes of teasing, she pulls away and climbs back up my body, allowing the head of the dildo to rub against her smooth torso before she settles it between her legs. My hands settle on her hips as she places her legs on either side of mine, widening her stance. She grips onto the base of the dildo, guiding it into herself as she lowers her hips against mine.

Instead of riding me like I had expected, she leans all the way down, pressing our chests together so that her face is next to mine. "Take me," She whispers into my ear, causing a flood of wetness between my legs. Damn her.

I flip us back over, somehow managing to keep the double-sided dildo inside both of us before I start pumping into her furiously. Her words lit a fire deep inside of me and I want nothing more than to take her over the edge again and again. Her hands are tugging on my hair while her thighs brace themselves around my hips, her heels digging into the back of my calves. The position is perfect, giving me enough access to thrust deeply inside of her while also causing more than enough pleasure on my end.

I find myself going faster and harder; haphazardly entering her as my pleasure increases exponentially. I can feel myself nearing closer to the edge as my abdomen burns from my movements; this is most definitely a better work out than rock climbing.

"Harder," She moans out as her nail scrape against my scalp. It's a good thing that my body is on autopilot right now otherwise I might've stopped. She has never really been one to talk while fucking. "I want—" She moans out as her heels run down my calves, stretching out my muscles. "I want…you to…lose…control…" she manages to pant out as I continue my motions. I take her words to heart and apply more force with my thrusts and I can feel the difference inside of myself. It's borderline painful but the pleasure has exponentially increased; I can only imagine how painful yet pleasuring this must be for her. If her moans are any clue, she seems to be enjoying this more than words can express, hence her speechlessness.

Her moans catch in her throat as her lower half rises up against me, freezing partially raised off of the mattress. I continue thrusting through her tight resistance as her eyes pinch shut while her grip tightens around my shoulder before she finally manages to exhale through her orgasm. Just watching and feeling her is more than enough to send me over the edge shortly after her.

As expected, it takes us a few minutes in order to gain our bearings. I extract myself from inside of her, easily removing the smaller end from within me before tossing it to the side, allowing it to land with a thump against the floor; we can deal with that later even though I'm pretty sure she's going to yell at me for throwing everything around her room.

"Best…first…date…ever…" She manages to pant out as she rolls over onto her side so that she's facing me. I smile back at her in response but for some reason I don't feel as good as I probably should. I'd like to think that I took her on pretty great first date but was she just commenting on the sex? It seems like the only way I can get her to smile that way is right after I've fucked her senseless.

"Glad you thought so," I reply back almost numbly but she doesn't seem to notice. Instead, she leans over and kisses me again, deepening it for a second before pulling away and placing her hand on my sternum.

She taps her fingers there a couple of times as she looks down at me. "I have court in the morning." My eyes meet hers and I take the hint, rising up off of her bed so that I can get dressed. I collect my clothes, putting on what I can as I go. She follows my lead and pulls on a skimpy silk robe before she picks up her own things, placing her dirty clothes in her hamper.

She follows me to the door, pulling me back for a quick kiss before letting me leave. And there's that feeling again.


	16. Stay

It's 11 pm at night and it's been five days since I last saw Alex without having either of us at each other's throats. The most recent case had gone to shit once we found out that the rape victim was actually lying about her assault and that she just didn't want her parents to know that she had sex. To say the least, Alex was very unhappy that we hadn't made sure her story made sense before going after the imaginary perpetrator who somehow managed to be a real person.

But now she seems to be in a completely different mood. For the first time, she texted me asking me what I was up to. I glance back down at my phone, wondering how I'm supposed to respond to that. What does she think I'm up to? I just got home after pulling a double shift. It's not like I'm out practicing my golf right now.

_Just crawled into bed. Is something wrong?_

I reply back quickly, giving her the benefit of the doubt rather than replying with some snarky comment. We've both had really long days but that doesn't give me the right to continue being rude to her. We made it clear from the beginning that our relationship—can I call it that now?—would not affect our work at all. So far we have been following that pretty well; let's just hope that she's not texting me to chew me out again. My phone buzzes a few minutes later and I really just want to ignore it and sleep but I refuse to ignore her.

_Nothing is wrong. I don't suppose you want any company tonight? _

I arch up an eyebrow in my dark room lit only by my phone screen. Does she seriously want to fuck right now after arguing for hours over the last case? I debate how to respond for a few minutes before my phone buzzes again, indicating another message from her.

_Can you make up your mind soon? I think one of your neighbors is about to call the cops on me. _

I jerk upright and glance toward my dark hallway. I begrudgingly hop out of bed, my toes automatically curling against the cold hardwood floor before I head to my front door. I peek through the peep hole and she's actually standing there. I open up the door as I wearily run a hand through my disheveled hair, trying to appear somewhat put together when in reality I just got home, jumped in the shower, threw on semi-clean clothes, and crashed in bed. "What are you doing here?" I finally ask her.

She glances to her side as one of my neighbors opens up the door before noticing me and closing the door again. "I think my text message was pretty self-explanatory. May I come in?" Instead of responding, I step to the side, allowing her to enter my apartment. I evaluate her for a few seconds as I close the door. She's in a pair of well-worn blue jeans and a sweatshirt, the complete opposite of what I saw her in a few hours prior. There's no doubt in my mind that she's as tired as I am which is why I'm so confused as to why she is here. "You look exhausted, Liv."

I glance back at her as I shut and lock my door. "I was about to go to sleep," I tell her as politely as I can when a part of me really wants to ask her to leave so I can finally get some rest.

"I'm sorry, I'll go," She quickly says as she turns back around and tries to open up the door.

I sigh as I place my hand against the door, stopping her from opening it. "It's fine, Alex, stay. You obviously came here for a reason," I tell her as she releases her grip of the door knob and turns back to me.

She chews on her bottom lip momentarily while glancing around my apartment before finally looking back at me. "I think you know why I'm here," She deadpans.

Yup, just like I thought. I gently grab onto her wrist and tug her into my kitchen. I quickly prepare two cups of tea and offer her one before I gulp down the semi-caffeinated liquid, enjoying its warmth. "Aren't you tired?" I finally ask her once my cup is almost empty. Somehow it didn't seem to do much for me since I'm still fighting the urge to close my eyes.

"A little," She replies as she gingerly sips at the tea before setting it down on my kitchen table. "I just missed you." I take the hint and set my cup down next to hers before leading her toward my bedroom. She almost seems surprised as I take a step toward her and start pulling off her sweatshirt even though I know this is why she was standing outside of my apartment. I turn her around so that her back is toward my bed before unhooking and unzipping her pants. I push them down and then guide her to sit at the edge of my bed before I pull them completely off of her legs.

She stands up again, looking at me with confusion again as she brings a hand up to run through my hair. I bring our lips together gently, kissing her with as much effort as I have which honestly isn't much; my lack of effort almost seems as if I'm trying to be sweet and take this slow. She returns the kiss and I let her take charge as she slips her tongue into my mouth while her other hand finds its way into my hair. Both of my hands find purchase on her exposed hips as I carefully lead her backward and toward my bed.

Once I feel her legs press up against my bed, she pulls out of the kiss, resting both of her hands on my cheeks with a soft smile. She runs her thumbs across my cheeks tenderly and I can't help it as my eyes flutter shut. "You're about to fall asleep on me, Liv," She states with a soft chuckle as she continues stroking my cheeks.

"I'm sorry," I mutter back in response as I rub my own thumbs across her abdomen before dipping them below her underwear line, trying to show her that I can still give her what she wants.

She lets me continue stroking lower and lower before both of her hands drop down to my wrists and halt me. "You're exhausted," She states as she slides my hands back up to her hips, resting them there before she pushes both of her hands in my hair, brushing it back and out of my face. "Go to sleep, Liv," She tells me as she moves herself away from the edge of my bed, bringing me with her. She positions me against the side of the bed before applying pressure on my shoulders, encouraging me to sit down. I reluctantly sit down on the mattress, internally sighing at the softness of my bedsheets—ones that I've missed for two days.

"Come on, go to bed," She says as she nudges me slightly. I pull my legs up onto the mattress and slip them under the covers as I sink back into the comfort of my bed. Once I'm laying down, she leans toward me and presses her lips against mine in a soft kiss before pulling back. "Good night, Liv."

She turns to leave and somehow I find the strength to reach out and catch her wrist as she turns, halting her motions. She looks back at me in confusion. "Stay," I say softly and I can see her preparing to argue with me as if this were a court case. "Please, just for the night. You're exhausted as well, Alex. Plus I'll have more than enough energy to finish what we started in the morning," I tell her with a slightly teasing tone which earns me a smile.

"Fine," She replies as she glances down at her attire. She's clad in a pair of underwear and a tight white tank top which look sexy as hell on her. I scoot over on the mattress and pat the spot next to me. She scoffs slightly as she shakes her head before climbing in next to me and removing her glasses, placing them on my nightstand.

I can't resist the urge as I scoot closer to her and slip my hand under her tank top, sliding it up until I can confirm that she isn't wearing a bra. I lean over and kiss her neck before sliding down to her collarbone, kissing along it and down toward her chest. A hand in my hair finally pulls me away from her smooth skin. "Hey, no funny business," She tells me as I reluctantly pull away from kissing her. "You need your rest because I expect you to fulfill your promise come tomorrow morning."

"Mkay," I mumble sleepily as I wearily plop back down onto the mattress. It doesn't take long for sleep to completely consume me.

* * *

I wake up the following morning in somewhat of a trance. A part of me wants to just fall back asleep but I'd much rather continue looking at the gorgeous blonde in my bed. Alex is curled up on her side, facing away from me. The covers are around her waist and her tank top has risen up, exposing the smooth expanse of her back to me.

I feel bad that I didn't give her what she wanted last night but then again she was the one who insisted on me sleeping. I guess she realized that I wouldn't be very good at pleasuring her while half asleep. I resist the urge to reach out and touch her before her words from the night before come back to me. She said she was expecting me to satisfy her come morning…

I carefully slide closer to her, trying my best not to shake the mattress too much. Once my front is pressed up against her back, I trace my hand around her torso before sliding it up under her tank top, running my fingers up and down her abdomen. A soft moan fills my ears and I pause, waiting to see if she'll say something but she doesn't make any more sounds. I press my lips against her exposed shoulder, trailing kisses across it and toward her neck.

I suck gently at her neck as my hand roams further up her shirt until I'm cupping one of her breasts. Her nipple immediately tightens up in response and I'm left grinning against her neck at the way her body responds to me even while she's asleep.

I gently palm her breast, massaging it while rubbing my thumb back and forth across her hardened nipple. For a moment I feel guilty about touching her considering she's asleep and I have to keep telling myself this is what she wants. Another soft moan fills the room and her chest presses more firmly into my palm. I take the subconscious hint and massage her breast a bit more before switching over to the other one, finding an equally hard nipple.

I suck gently on her neck again, careful not to leave too many hickeys before I feel her ass press against my front and grind ever so slightly. I tilt my head up and glance at her face, genuinely surprised to see that she's still fast asleep. I run my hand down her chest and slip it under her underwear cupping her ass as she continues to lean back into me. Her hips suddenly turn, causing my hand to slip into the front of her underwear and her legs instinctively widen for me.

My fingers find their way down between her legs and I'm surprised to find her so wet. I wonder if she's having a wet dream right now. I run my fingers along her length and I want so desperately to enter her but it just doesn't feel right to do that while she's sleeping, even if I know she'd consent to it. I kiss her exposed shoulder blade gently, mumbling her name against her skin. I kiss my way up to her neck again and whisper her name once more as my fingers stroke the tender flesh connecting her legs to her sex. Her hips squirm in response and I suck a bit more firmly on her neck as I continue my stroking motion, whispering her name once more.

She moans softly again before her body immediately tenses up. "Good morning," I whisper against her neck as I continue stroking her skin. Her body relaxes at the sound of my voice before her hips tilt to the side and press down against my hand, encouraging me to enter her.

"It'd be an even better morning if you were inside of me," She husks out as she tilts her head to the side in order to glance at me over her shoulder. I smirk in response as I move my fingers over her slit, stroking her gently. Her hips impatiently grind down against my hand and I chuckle in response before slipping two fingers into her, not nearly as deep as I would like to go considering our awkward angle.

She lets out a long, ragged breath as I use my wrist to push my fingers in and out of her easily considering the amount of natural lubricant that she has supplied me with. I continue kissing her neck as I push my fingers as deeply into her as I can go before curling them forward. I immediately feel that special spot underneath the pads of my fingers and I continue stroking it, rubbing her spongey flesh in firm circles.

She moans out, much louder than before as she pushes her ass against my front, encouraging me to apply more pressure. I do as suggested and press harder against her front wall with my two fingers, massaging the flesh vigorously as more wetness coats my fingers. Her hips jerk forward, trying to increase the contact as her soft pants fill the air surrounding us.

My wrist is burning from the uncomfortable position but I have no intention to stop until she's flying over the edge. I use the palm of my hand to bump up against her straining bundle as I continue applying firm strokes to her front walls. Her inner walls immediately clench down around my fingers, drastically decreasing their motion but I ignore the pressure and stroke her faster and harder, rubbing my palm against her more efficiently now.

Her walls clench impossibly tight around my fingers before releasing their hold and tightening up again. Wetness coats my fingers again as a strangled sob leaves her throat before she pants out. My fingers continue rubbing against her, heightening her pleasure as her inner walls flutter around me, finally loosening up but not nearly enough to return her to normal. I drag my fingers down her front walls as I carefully extract them from inside of her.

She rolls over onto her back and I prop myself up on my arm as I look down at her. She smiles weakly before she catches sight of my hand. She wastes no time in grabbing my wrist and pulling my fingers up to her mouth. She wraps her lips my two fingers that were just inside of her, teasing my fingers with her tongues as she removes all traces of her excitement from my fingers. I slowly slip my fingers out of her mouth, enjoying the sight of them finally popping out before I kiss her, greedily tasting her excitement that is smeared across her lips.

A loud ringing breaks our trance and she places a hand against my chest, gently pushing me away from her. "Don't you dare answer that," I warn as I watch her eyes flicker around my room, trying to figure out where the sound is coming from.

She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me back down into a kiss. "Mkay," She mumbles against my lips before rolling us over so that she's on top of me now. The ringing finally subsides and she pulls back to catch her breath.

"Well that was easy," I tell her as I run my hands along her sides, pushing up her tank top so that her stomach is exposed to me. "Why didn't you answer it?" I ask her curiously as she pulls her tank top up and over her head in the most seductive of ways before tossing it off to the side with a smirk on her face. My eyes immediately zone in on her breasts and my hands find their way up to them, palming them gently.

Her head tips back as she moans out in pleasure before straightening up again to look at me. I raise an eyebrow, waiting for her to respond, as I continue to massage her breasts. "It wasn't my phone," She replies back with a smirk as she lowers her head in order to kiss me. Wasn't her phone…? Fuck! I push her off of me as I scramble out of the bed and frantically search for my phone.

By the time I find it and press it up against my ear in order to hear the voice message she's looking at me with the most pissed off look I've ever seen. "Seriously?" She asks as she gestures to her naked chest and down to her underwear. I sheepishly grin at her as she props herself up on the bed from where she fell after I practically shoved her off of me.

"Sorry," I tell her as I place my phone back on the side table.

"You're going to make it up to me," She counters as she pushes herself up on my mattress and crawls over to me on all fours before grabbing onto my shirt and pulling me toward her. Oh god, I want to; I really, really want to make it up to her but I'm needed down at Mercy to interview a victim.

I allow her to kiss me for a few seconds as I crawl on top of her, running my hands across her bare chest before I reluctantly pull back. "I really don't want to leave but that was Elliot. I'm needed at Mercy," I tell her and she immediately frowns before shoving me off of her.

I look at her in confusion as she lets out a frustrated sigh and glares at me. "Seriously?"

"I'm sorry but I have to work—" I start to argue but she cuts me off.

"I understand that you're needed at work and that's fine but you can't just kiss and touch me like that and expect me to be fine with you leaving!" She groans out in frustration as she flops back down on my mattress. "Cunt tease."

My eyes widen at her words before I break out into laughter which only results in her glaring at me again. "Did you…" I continue laughing as I try my best to compose myself. "Did you seriously just call me…call me a cunt tease?" I finally manage to spit out before I'm overwhelmed with laughter again. Once I'm done laughing it's clear that she's not at all amused. "I did not expect those two word to come out of your mouth, especially in the same sentence."

"Oh shut up," She playfully replies as she nudges my shoulder. "God, I hate you sometimes," She mumbles a she pulls my covers up around her bare chest and bunches them up there.

"Sorry," I reply as I wander around my room, gather some clothes to throw on. I quickly get dressed in work appropriate clothes before glancing back down at Alex, who's still relaxing in my bed. "You just going to stay there all day?" I ask her curiously.

"Someone woke me up while I was trying to sleep," She teases.

"Hey, you didn't seem to mind at the time," I counter which earns me a reluctant grin from her.

"Well either way, I'll be sleeping until some sexy detective calls me and requests a warrant with absolutely no substantial evidence whatsoever and then I'll be forced to suck up to a judge in order to get her the warrant."

I smile back at her as I finish buttoning up my shirt. I lean down and kiss her once more, allowing my hands to roam her body for a few seconds before forcing myself to step away from her. "I'll call you," I reply with a wink before gathering the rest of my equipment. I reluctantly head toward the door with a permanent grin plastered across my face and an uncomfortable throbbing between my legs. Today is certainly going to be a long day.


	17. Insight

Surprisingly enough, the case went by with as little trouble as possible and Munch and Fin agreed to wrap it up, allowing me to head back home within three hours. Something about me looking like I had somewhere better to be…which I most certainly do. I already shot Alex a quick text, letting her know that I'd be back at my apartment within twenty minutes and asked whether or not she was still there. For once, I really want her to be at my apartment so we can continue what we started this morning.

Once I arrive back at my place, I rush into my bedroom while trying not to seem too excited to see the blonde. The grin on my face grows as I recognize her form still curled under my covers, sleeping soundly. I almost don't want to wake her but it's almost ten in the morning and she doesn't really seem like the type to sleep in for so long. I tip-toe over to the side of the bed that she's facing, admiring her for a few seconds. Interestingly enough, she doesn't look nearly as scary while she's sleeping—not that she really ever scared me since we were on the same team in the court room.

"Alex," I whisper softly as I sit down on the edge of the bed around her waist, allowing me to look up at her face. "Alex," I whisper again when there's no reaction. I can see her chest slowly expanding as she breathes, giving me a tantalizing view of her still shirtless top half from our previous activities. I carefully lean down, supporting myself above her with both arms around her torso as I descend closer to her face. "Good morning," I whisper into her ear as I lay a kiss against her temple; she's far too irresistible.

Her shoulders flex back slightly as her head straightens up before a blue eye pops open, lazily moving around until it lands on me. Her eyes widen more as a small smile forms on her lips. She rolls onto her back with me still towering over her, causing the bedsheet to shift downward so that I can almost see those beautiful breasts. "You're back early," She replies as she lazily tosses an arm over her face and runs it along her forehead.

"Or you just slept for a long time," I counter with a teasing smirk as a perfectly sculptured eyebrow pops up in order to look at me curiously.

"What time is it?"

"A little after ten." Her eyes widen as she searches my face for any sign that I'm lying.

"Wow, I can't remember that last time I slept in past eight," She says as she sheepishly smiles up at me. "I guess your bed is just really comfortable."

"Oh I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I exhausted you this morning," I counter with a wink. She chuckles in response, allowing the bed sheet to slip even further down until I can see a rosy nipple out of the corner of my eye.

I lean down, connecting our lips, much to her surprise as I lower myself down onto her, slipping my hand up across the bedsheet in search for her breast. She returns the kiss, bringing her arms up to wrap around my neck. I press my lower half against her, descending until I can feel the mattress dip from the added weight. My hand finds her breast, pulling down the bedsheet further so that I can fully cup the warm flesh, running my thumb across a hardening nipple.

Suddenly, my lips are no longer tangled between hers and instead they're hovering over the cheek that is now facing me. I assume she needed to breathe and return my kisses to her cheek, trailing them down her neck before a palm against my sternum stops me. "Liv, wait," She breathlessly whispers and I immediately pull back, giving her space. I look down at her in confusion as she catches her breath before turning her head to look back up at me. "Do you think…" She pauses as she chews her bottom lip for a second before rolling her head against my pillow. "Do you think we could get breakfast?"

I raise an eyebrow in silent question before pushing myself further off of her and mindlessly nodding. "Sure," I reply as I push myself fully off of her and resist the urge to plop down next to her. Damn her; the one time that I am absolutely craving her more than anything, she doesn't want sex. That's certainly a first for her. I climb off of the bed and massage my own neck with one hand as I watch her get out of my bed as well.

"Can I borrow a shirt?" She asks me as she looks at long since discarded tank top which is now wrinkled on the floor. I nod in response, walking over to my dresser and pulling out a shirt that's thick enough to cover up the fact that she's not wearing a bra. "Thanks," She replies as she takes the proffered shirt and pulls it on over her naked torso, looking down to make sure that it wasn't blatantly obvious that she was braless.

"Where did you want to get breakfast?" She pauses with her blue jeans halfway up her legs and glances back up at me.

"Do you mind going to the same place we went before? I really like their food," She answers with a sheepish grin. Of course I don't mind. I'd go anywhere as long as it was with her.

"That's fine."

Twenty minutes later we're seating at the same booth as we were weeks prior, sitting next to each other this time, perusing through the menu. I'm too busy thinking about the blonde next to me to realize someone sitting across from us. "Back for more, huh?" I glance up to see Margaret with a grin on her face, smiling at both of us.

"You have the best food," I reply back with a shrug before turning to Alex who is trying her best to ignore Margaret's attempt at flustering us.

"Pete's missed ya, Lexi. You should go say hi," Margaret states as she eyes me up for a second before turning her attention to Alex.

"Why do I feel like you always make it seem like he misses me more than he really does? By the time I get back there he merely shrugs at my presence," Alex deadpans as she eyes Margaret up, knowing full well that she was trying to get a moment alone with me.

"He's just shy, hun." Alex rolls her eyes in response as she places a hand on my thigh and squeezes it gently before slipping out of the booth.

"Play nice," She warns Margaret before heading toward the kitchen.

"So," Margaret starts off as she turns her attention back to me. "You're still around."

"I am," I reply back as I look her over a couple of times, trying to use my detecting skills to figure out whether she is disappointed or happy. For some reason it appears to be the latter…

"Good, good. So am I ever going to learn who exactly you are?" She asks me with a raised eyebrow. I can see her quickly searching my attire, most likely realizing that it's vastly different from what I wore the first time that I came here.

"Olivia Benson," I tell her as I hold out my hand to shake hers. It finally donned on me that I knew her name but she had no clue what mine was. She took the proffered hand and shook firmly; I was starting to like her more every second.

"So how'd you meet my little Lexi?" I raise an eyebrow in a silent question at the way she said 'my Lexi' rather than just Alex. Who exactly was this woman?

"I, uh…" I pause but I'm not sure why. This woman clearly seems to know a lot about Alex so it's not like I'd be telling her anything new. "I met her through work." There, that's a suitable response. That way I'm technically not admitting to being in a relationship with a coworker with could quite possibly get me suspended if Captain knew.

"And what exactly do you do for a living, Ms. Benson?"

"Please, call me Olivia. I'm a detective for the NYPD," I clarify, still leaving enough room for me to wiggle my way out if needed.

"How long ago did you meet Alex?" She asks me as her forehead scrunches up in thought. She's trying to figure something out but I'm not quite sure what her end game is.

"Uh, 2000 I think?" Margaret's face noticeably relaxes as she nods in understanding just as Alex comes back to the booth, sliding in next to me.

"What are you two talking about?" Alex questions as she glances between the both of us.

"I was just curious as to how you two met," Margaret replies with a smile as she finally turns her attention away from me and to Alex.

"She's a detective for the NYPD. I'm her unit's ADA," Alex replies with a shrug. My eyes immediately widen at her blunt response; I certainly wasn't expecting her to be so open about that.

"Tsk tsk," Margaret teases. "What did I tell you about sleeping with coworkers, Lexi?" Oh gosh, and here I thought my face couldn't possibly get any redder. How the hell does she know that we are sleeping together?

Alex shrugs in response. "Who said we were sleeping together?" She counters.

"Your detective's face says it all," Margaret quips back as she winks at me before rising from the booth and leaving without even taking our orders; I'm pretty sure she placed the orders the moment she saw us.

Alex turns to me with a raised eyebrow. "You're as red as a tomato," She teases as she places her hand on my thigh again, resting it there. "Don't worry, Margaret isn't going to tell anyone."

I nod in response, grabbing my glass of water and swallowing down a generous amount in hopes of cooling the blush on my face. "Who exactly is Margaret to you?" I ask her; the question has been in the back of my mind since the first time Margaret called her Lexi.

She pauses and purses her lips slightly. "She's like family."

"And Pete?"

"He's like a brother," She replies back as she runs her fingers across the condensation on her own water glass, ignoring my gaze.

"So I don't have to worry about him?" I ask, instantly regretting my choice of words. Gee it sounds like I'm some jealous lover.

She turns to me with a raised eyebrow but shakes her head in response. "No," She replies as she shakes her head again and scrunches up her face as she shudders. "Ew. Haven't you realized that he's not exactly my type?"

I cock my head to the side. "I'm not really sure I know what your type is, Alex."

She chuckles softly in response. "Well, I've been sleeping with you so that should give you some clue…" She lets her words trail off.

"So you like detectives and not cooks? Gee, seems kind of picky to me," I tease back.

She glares at me in response. "For a detective, you're pretty clueless sometimes. Let's just say I wouldn't sleep with detective Stabler, Tutuola, or Munch."

I scrunch up my nose in response. "Cragen?"

"No!" She immediately interjects as her face scrunches up in response as well. "I mean Don is a great guy, don't get me wrong, but you're missing the point."

"And that point is…?" I ask, trailing off to clue her in that I'm pretty confused right now.

"Really?" She asks as she searches my face my any hint that I'm lying. I seriously have no clue what she's getting at. "Oh my god," She replies back as she rolls her eyes. "I'd be more inclined to sleep with Carmichael, Liv."

"Our ADA before you arrived?" I ask in confusion; I hadn't heard that name in years. She nods slowly in response with two raised eyebrows. "But she's…"

"A she," Alex cuts in and finally it dawns on me. Well, that makes sense; she is sleeping with _me._ For some reason I still thought that I was some sort of exception for her considering that she said she didn't intend on having us be anything more than a one night stand.

"Oh," I reply back as Margaret sets a plate in front of each of us, saving me from having to form a more competent response. "Thank you."

"Enjoy you two," Margaret tells us as she winks and leaves the table.

"She didn't even take our orders," I randomly say as I dig into the stuffed French toast.

"She knows it's my favorite and she likes to pretend that she knows what all of her customers are craving," Alex replies as she takes an elegant bite of her own food. How the hell she manages to eat something as messy as this so gracefully, I'll never understand.

"Well she got my order right," I reply as I take a bite and moan in response to the warm cream cheese filling penetrating my taste buds. I'm starting to think that this place will become my new breakfast joint.

"Good. So, what'd you get called in for this morning and how come I wasn't called in as well?" She questions.

"It was a pretty open and shut case. Munch and Fin said they'd wrap it up since I pulled a double the night before. I think they didn't really want to bother you on the weekend," I reply with a shrug. I can feel her eyes still on me.

"Do they know about us?"

"I don't think so," I reply as I busy myself with eating my food so that she'll stop asking questions but she doesn't relent.

"Elliot?"

I pause, suddenly finding my food not tasting nearly as good as it was a few seconds ago. I shrug in response, hoping that she'll take that as a good enough reply but she patiently waits for my answer. "I think he has an inkling," I reply honestly as I scratch the side of my head, a nervous tick of mine that I'm well aware of.

"You told him," She states, rather than questions.

"Sort of," I reply as I chance a glance toward her; she looks upset. "I didn't mean to, Alex. It's just, you wore my sweatshirt that one night that we both got called in and he gave me shit for it and said a bunch of weird stuff about how I was spitting out a bunch of white lies. Well, and then there was the whole interrogation room thing…"

She chuckles softly as she shakes her head in response. "It's okay, I don't blame you. I was the one who took your clothing and well…let's not even discuss what happened in that interrogation room. God, I can't stand on the opposite side of the glass without thinking about us."

"You think about us?" I ask before I can stop myself. This was certainly new information to me; I always thought that she really didn't care about us. Hell, I'm not really sure how she felt about anything concerning me. One moment she's adamantly against us dating and the next she's cuddled up next to me in my bed. Our relationship was confusing to say the least.

"Olivia," She pauses for a moment as she sighs. "I do care about you, believe it or not. Yes, initially I used you as an outlet for my sexual frustration and yes I didn't want to date you but there was a reason for everything."

"Are you ever going to tell me those reasons?" I ask.

She licks her lips as she sets her fork down onto her plate. "Someday, maybe. But not today." I nod in response, knowing that she has her reasons and that was her way of ending the conversation. "I have a sort of odd question," Alex states as she turns toward me fully. I nod, encouraging her to continue. "Would you like to accompany me to gala tonight? I know it's sort of late notice but I don't really want to go alone and it's for a good cause."

I want to say yes, I really do but I can't quite bring myself to agreeing. "I don't have anything to wear."

A smile graces her beautiful lips. "I'll take you shopping!"

I narrow my eyes at her before groaning. "You're going to drag me everywhere, aren't you?"

She smiles slyly in response. "Not everywhere, per say. Just a few of my favorite places. Come on, it will be fun! And there will be plenty of food tonight at the gala so at least you know you'll be well-fed." God, she knows me so well.

"Fine," I acquiesce which earns me a huge grin from her.

"Let's go!" She exclaims as she pulls me out of the booth and toward the exit. What did I just get myself into?

* * *

"Alex, I am not trying those on!" I whine slightly as she brings another five dresses into the fitting room, immediately resting them on the hook hanging from the wall.

"There aren't that many," She counters as she twirls her finger, signaling for me to turn around. I do as directed and she unzips the floor-length gown that I'm currently in, bringing it down to my ankles before I step out.

"I've already tried on like a dozen," I reply with a groan as she hands me another dress.

"And you said you didn't like any of them. I, on the other hand, thought you looked stunning in all of them so really this is your fault." I roll my eyes in response as I pull up the dress and settle it around my chest, allowing Alex to zip it up for me. "This dress is gorgeous on you," She remarks as she takes a step back and admires my reflection in the mirror.

"You've said that about every dress."

"It's true," She tells me as she twirls her finger once more and I turn to face her.

She leans back slightly and looks me over head to toe before taking a step toward me. Suddenly I find her hand inside the top of the dress and around one of my breasts. "Alex!" I squeal slightly as I pull away from her but not quite extracting her hand from my top.

"What?" She asks as she pulls the corner of my bra slightly before pushing it up, making my breasts look more full.

"We're in a changing room," I whisper as I glance around the walls surrounding us as if any moment someone would be coming in.

She rolls her eyes in response. "Well I could see the tip of your bra and I was adjusting your bust," She counters as she finally extracts her hand and takes a step back. "There, it looks much better," She states as she admires her work.

"You could've told me," I reply back with a slight blush.

"Don't tell me you're suddenly squeamish from my touch," She teases as her eyes narrow in on my chest and she subconsciously licks her lower lip.

"Why do I suddenly feel like a prey and you're the predator?"

Her eyes flash up to mine and she grins. "We're getting this one just so that I can take you out of it in the privacy of one of our apartments."

"Fine, I'll wear this one to the gala."

Her face scrunches up slightly as she glances down the length of my body. "Absolutely not."

"What?" I whine slightly, trying to figure out what her problem is with this dress. She seemed fine with letting me wear any other dress to the gala.

"Everyone, and I mean everyone is going to be staring at you if you show up in that."

"Is that jealousy that I detect, Counselor?" I tease as her eyes flash up to mine. She raises an eyebrow as she takes a step closer to me.

Her arms find their way around my neck, pulling me closer. "Depends, do you intend on going home with anyone other than me?" She questions and I pretend to contemplate the question for a few seconds. In response, she pulls my face to hers, kissing me firmly. She opens up her mouth to me, allowing me to take control of the kiss.

We breathlessly pull out of the kiss and I shake my head in response. "No. You're the only one that I want to go home with."

She smiles in response and kisses me chastely on the lips before dropping her arms to her sides. She looks me over once more, nodding in approval. "Good, then you can wear this dress."

* * *

"You didn't tell me that half of New York's elite would be here," I mutter into her ear as she pulls me through the crowd of well-dressed elitists. I swear I just saw a US Senator; hell, I wouldn't be surprised if I saw the freaking president of the United States here.

She glances back at me with a devious smirk on her face. "Would you have agreed to come with me if I did?"

"No," I reply back as I glare at her. "You lied!"

"I did not. I merely emitted some facts," She replies back. "I am an attorney, Olivia. It's in my blood." I roll my eyes in response as she drags me over to some prominent looking crowd, snatching two champagne glasses on her way. She passes one over to me as she approaches the crowd.

"Alexandra, I'm pleased you decided to come," An older woman in a rather lavish floor-length gown states as she turned to both of us. I look at her curiously; there was something about her face that looked oddly familiar.

"Of course, you only reminded me half a dozen times," Alex replies back as she hugs the woman. "Mother, this is Olivia Benson."

Fuck. I can't stop the deer-in-headlights look on my face even if I wanted to as the woman, Alex's mother apparently, turns to look at me. "Caroline Cabot, it's nice to meet you Ms. Benson," She states as she holds out her hand for me.

I shake the proffered hand and nod before I find my voice. "Please, call me Olivia and the pleasure is all mine," I reply back with the best smile that I can manage. I can't believe Alex blindsided me like this.

"Are you another attorney?" I glance to my right where a tall man is standing with a hand around Caroline's back. "I always told Alexandra that being an ADA was a waste of her talent."

"No, Father," Alex replies as she jumps into the conversation. "She's a detective for the NYPD. I work with her."

"Alexander Cabot," The man states as he holds out his hand for me; he has a surprisingly weak handshake but that might be due to the fact that he was shaking a woman's hand.

"Olivia Benson," I recite again, mentally cursing Alex and thinking of all the ways that I'm going to make her pay for this later on. "Alex is an exceptional ADA, we are grateful to have her," I tell Alexander, hoping to ease the tension slightly.

"She certainly is but it's a waste. You could be making far more money, dear," Alexander states as he turned toward Alex.

"And representing slime balls, like you?" Alex counters with a raised eyebrow. "No thank you. I'd much rather be a voice for the victims and put guilty men in prison, where they belong."

"Ah, that's my little girl. Always so passionate about something or another," Alexander states as he looks me up and down once when he said the word another. Something about his gesture made me feel incredibly uncomfortable. Do they know about their daughter's preferences?

"Yes," Alex replies as she places a hand on my lower back, causing me to flinch slightly. Was she trying to piss off her parents? What the hell was her deal? One moment she's worried about our coworkers finding out and now it seems like she's trying to make it clear that she's dating me. "If you'll excuse us, we're going to go freshen up a bit."

I follow Alex to the restroom where she wanders over to the mirror, pulling out some makeup and literally freshening up her face. "What the hell was that?" I ask as I pace slightly behind her, looking around to make sure that we're alone.

"What?" She asks innocently as she continues fixing her already perfect face.

"One moment you don't want anyone knowing about us and the next you're touching me like that in front of your parents. Do they know about you preferences?"

"Of course," Alex replies as she finally puts away her makeup and turns to face me. "They don't really care as long as I don't openly flaunt it. It wouldn't be very good for their reputation if people found out that their daughter preferred female company."

"Which is why you purposely touched me like that?" I question, my anger is clear. "Did you invite me to this just to use me in order to piss off your parents?"

"Of course not," Alex interrupts as she frowns at me. "I brought you to this gala because I enjoy your company and I thought we could spend some more time together outside of the bedroom. And I touched you because I like you, Olivia. How dare you accuse me of trying to use you. I'm not afraid to make my preferences known to my parents."

"But you're afraid to let anyone else know," I snap back as I take a moment to calm down. "To the public, you play off as the perfect straight woman. Which one is it, Alex?"

"It's none of the public's business whose bed I share," She counters. "Now I need to go back out there. If you don't want me touching you again, just say so."

* * *

When we finally wind back up at her apartment, I feel like shit. She made her rounds, saying hello to everyone and politely introducing me but she didn't bother touching me again after our argument in the restroom. "Alex, I'm sorry," I tell her as she shuts the door behind us and nudges her way out of her heels, rolling her ankles slightly.

"It's fine," She replies back as she picks up her heels and carries them into her bedroom. "I didn't know that you'd feel uncomfortable with me touching you in public."

"It wasn't that," I admit as I follow her into the bedroom, taking off my own heels. "I love it when you touch me like that. It's just that, I felt like you were doing it to make a statement to your parents. You wouldn't do it in front of anyone else which is why I'm so confused."

Alex sighs as she turns back to face me. "You were right, I did do that in front of my parents on purpose. I lied. Look, I'm not like you," She tells me as she sits down on the edge of her bed, looking down at the ground. "People don't know about my sexual preferences and I'd like to keep it that way. To be honest, I'm afraid of the consequences that I'd face. You on the other hand, you have a supportive group of coworkers who are aware of your preferences and they still treat you just fine. In my world, I wouldn't be accepted."

"So you use me to piss off mommy and daddy," I snap back a bit too harshly.

She cringes at my words. "Yes," She replies back quietly. "I'm sorry."

Well shit, now I'm the bad guy. "Look, Alex I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so harsh with you. I guess I can't ever really understand what you're going through with your parents considering mine were never around." She looks up at me in confusion and for the first time I realize that she has no clue about my past. The feeling makes my stomach churn and I can't help but wonder if she'd still be dating me if she knew the truth.

"It's alright. I'm the one in the wrong here," She replies back and I'm thankful that she didn't ask any questions about my parents.

"It's fine," I respond as I take a step toward her and lean down, kissing her chastely on the lips. "I had a wonderful day with you today, Alex. Thank you for inviting me and taking me shopping."

I stand upright and head toward the door since it was clear that she wasn't really in the mood to have sex, not that I minded. It certainly wasn't the right time, no matter how fantastic make-up sex typically was. "Olivia," She calls out and I pause, turning back to see her. "Would you like to spend the night?"

I look her over once for any sign of regret in her words but there is none. "I would love to," I reply and she stands up from her bed, beckoning me over as she turns around.

"Unzip me?" I walk over to her and slowly trail the zipper down her back, admiring the pale skin being revealed to me. She steps out of her dress and hangs it up in her closet and I follow her lead, stripping out of my dress as well.

I raise an eyebrow at her as I watch her crawl into her bed in nothing but a pair of lacy underwear that she wore with her dress so that there wouldn't be any lines. "Oh," She states as she glances down at herself. "I can put on clothes if you want?" She offers up and I shake my head in response.

"You're killing me, Cabot," I mutter as I follow her lead, slipping into bed next to her in only my underwear.

She glances at me for a moment before turning to face away from me, curling up under her covers. "I kind of need you alive to do what I want to do to you," She replies back casually as I try my hardest not to choke on air. She will seriously be the death of me. I pull the covers up over my body and face her as I snuggled under the blankets.

We're not touching anywhere and yet somehow that seems to be okay. I didn't expect her to suddenly become a cuddler overnight; I was simply thankful that we could finally share a bed for the night without worrying about leaving come morning.


	18. Dreams and Reality

Images of Alex play through my mind, pushing past the fog. I can tell I'm somewhere in between that curious state of sleeping and waking up but I don't want to wake up. Sometimes dreams are better than reality. She's touching me in my dream, slowing trailing her fingers up and down my bare chest, between my breasts. She's teasing me; I can tell by the smirk that's splayed across her face as she dips her head down to kiss a line between my breasts, sliding all the way down until she's reached my navel.

I can't help but moan in response to her welcomed assault and oddly enough the sound reverberates through my ears. I can no longer feel her on my chest and I can no longer see her. It feels as if she's slowly being pulled back, away from me and I can't stop her. "Olivia," She whispers, calling out for me but she sounds far closer to me than she appears. I want to reach out for her, stop her from running away but I can't seem to move. "Liv," She whispers again and she sounds even closer than before. I can feel warm air flowing over my ear and something tickling the side of my face.

My eyes flash open, my mind finally breaking out of my sleep haze to see a pair of gorgeous breasts right in front of my face. Alex. She's straddling my waist, leaning over as she whispers into my ear. "Olivia," She whispers again and I don't think she realizes that I'm awake. Suddenly I can feel her tongue tracing the shell of my ear before her teeth lightly clamp down on my earlobe, slowly pulling away. I moan out in response as I try to reach out for her and grasp her hips but I can't. I struggle again to remove my hands from above my head only to feel something tighten around them.

She finally pulls back, looking at me with that same devious smirk that she had in my dream. "Good morning," She husks out as her hands splay out across my chest, her fingers roaming the warm skin that she finds there. She moves down my body until she can lower her head to my chest, maintaining eye contact with me as she lays a single kiss against my sternum.

"Alex," I croak out as I tug once more at my hands; finally I realize that they're tangled up in a scarf, binding me to her headboard. Her eyes flicker up to my wrists as she kisses my sternum again before migrating her mouth to one of my breasts. I swallow hard as she blows hot air over my sensitive nipple, making it even more painfully hard. She repeats the process again before slowly bending down and flicking her tongue against the straining peak. I groan out as my hips buck against hers, causing her to pull back and look at me with an unamused expression.

"Do I need to tie your legs down too?" She questions and I can feel the wetness between my legs rapidly increasing. Sure, I have tried a lot of things in my time including bondage but I have never once been the person bound. It was a new experience and I felt incredibly vulnerable but my arousal was more intense than it had ever been. I momentarily question the position that we're in right now. Technically I didn't consent to her tying me up but I know she'd release me if I asked her to but the thing is, I don't want to. I want her to torture me, touch me, and tease me, anything as long as it's her doing it and not anyone else.

Finally I manage to shake my head in response, acting the part of the obedient captive as I press my hips back down into the mattress. She looks pleased as she returns her attention to my nipple, swiping over it firmly with her tongue. I resist the urge to push my chest up to increase the contact because I know she wouldn't approve. Instead, I tug at my restraints, letting her know just how impatient I am. She glances up to meet my gaze as she descends her mouth onto my breast, wrapping those beautiful lips around me and taking in as much as she can. My eyes immediately flutter closed in response to the incredibly erotic display and I'm overwhelmed with the sensation of her warm mouth around me. I can feel the pressure from her ministrations, her tongue teasing over my nipple, and her teeth scraping over me which only serves to increase my arousal. Instinctively, I squeeze my thighs together, trying to ease the throbbing that is now rather prominent between my legs.

She continues lavishing my breast with attention before releasing my breast from her mouth with a faint pop. She glances up at me as she puts all of her weight on one side of her body, allowing her to move her right leg in between mine, forcing my legs open. I comply and she immediately presses her thigh as high up as she can go, bumping against my sex. I gasp in response, earning me a grin from her as she lowers her mouth back on my other breast, giving it similar attention all while she rhythmically pushes her thigh against me.

"Alex," I moan out as I feel my wetness grow to an uncomfortable level. Considering that we're only in our underwear, I could only image that she is well aware of the wetness that has surely seeped through my underwear. "Aleeeex," I whimper out this time as I struggle against my restraints, trying desperately to touch her. She finally releases my breast but maintains her rhythmic thrusting against my center as she looks up at me. She doesn't say anything, she simply waits for me to continue whatever I was pleading her for. "Please," I whimper out as I lift up my hips and press them down against her still thrusting thigh, showing her what I want.

"Please what?" She whispers seductively in response as she glances down at my chest before lowering herself back down.

"You know what," I groan out as I shamelessly grind down on her thigh, increasing my arousal to a near painful level.

She glances back up at me as she kisses the tip of one of my nipples. "Continue doing this?" She questions as she wraps her lips around the tip of my nipple and tugs at it with her teeth. "Or this?" She questions as presses her thigh more firmly against my center, causing me to moan out in approval. "Or maybe this?" She questions as her lips slide over my breast and toward me neck. She tilts her head to the side, allowing her blonde hair to drape over one shoulder as she sucks relentlessly at my neck, no doubt leaving her claim on me. "Tell me what you want."

"Everything," I groan out in response. God, everything felt so damn good and it was all so overwhelming. I wanted everything she had to offer me.

She chuckles softly in response against my neck as she rises up so that her face is hovering over mine. She leans down and kisses my lips, pulling back far too soon. "I'm pretty sure I only have one mouth," She mumbles against my lips before sucking my bottom lip into her mouth. I moan against her mouth as she tilts her head to the side, increasing our contact as she pushes her tongue into my mouth. I tug against my restraints again, desperate to hold her down against my mouth. I want to flip her over and take her hard and fast as punishment for her teasing ways but maybe that's why she bound me in the first place.

I finally relax my arms again as I take control of the kiss, battling her tongue until I'm in her mouth, tasting every inch of her. After a few more seconds, I pull back and bite her lower lip a bit too harshly, causing her to gasp out against my mouth as she tries to pull back. I maintain my hold on her lip before releasing her and she looks at me in surprise as she reaches up to brush her bruised lip with a finger. "Between my legs," I tell her and surprisingly enough my voice no longer comes out as a whimper or a plea. She raises an eyebrow as she traces her finger across her swollen lip once more. "That's where I want your pretty little mouth," I clarify and I can see her fighting the urge to smile; she wants to appear as if she's still in charge but we both know I'm the one really running the show.

"Make me," She replies back with a smirk before crashing our lips against one another's again. I continue nipping at her lips, increasing the pain but also the pleasure. I can feel her thigh squirming against my center as she tries to push against me but she's too overwhelmed to maintain a steady rhythm. I push up the leg that she is straddling, pressing it firmly against her center, causing her to moan against my lips as her hips buck. I use my other leg to wrap around her leg that is situated between my thighs and press firmly against it, pinning it between both of my legs. I quickly straighten out my legs, causing her to be pulled down with them, pulling her face away from mine.

She looks surprised as she tries to support herself against the mattress in her new position, with her face above my chest. She certainly wasn't expecting me to pull her down, forcing her closer to where I want her. "Close but not quite there Alex," I husk out as I pump my hips once against her torso, showing her what I mean. She smirks in response as she lowers her lips to my torso trailing kisses down my stomach as she continues to slide down my body to where I want her the most.

I can feel her fingers skimming over my hips before she hooks her fingers into my underwear and drags them slowly down my legs. Once they're off, she settles herself between my legs and I instinctively widen myself for her. She moves up even closer and rests her hands on the tops of my thighs as she moves within inches of my very prominent arousal. "Is this where you want me?" She whispers as she glances up at me from her position between my legs. God, yes. I can't seem to find my voice so she takes the opportunity to kiss the inside of my thigh, slowly sliding up until I can feel her hot breath blowing over my wetness.

"Yes," I moan out as I arch my back upward, bringing her face closer to me. Two firm hands press my hips back down into the mattress as she looks up at me with a stern look on her face, silently warning me to stay still.

She traces a single finger against my sex, dipping between my lips, teasing me beyond belief. "You're so ready for me, aren't you?" She questions and when I don't respond, she slips that finger into me, curling it roughly forward. "Answer me."

"Yes!" I scream out as my eyes clamp shut and I revel in the feeling of her finger inside of me but my pleasure quickly vanishes as she removes her finger.

"Good," She mumbles, her voice sounding muffled as she lowers her face against my sex, swiping her tongue along my length. I moan out in approval and somehow manage not to thrust my hips against her in response. She seems pleased, rewarding me by dragging her tongue up to the place I really want her but she doesn't give me the pressure that I need; hell, if she did I'd probably come undone within seconds. She teases her tongue around my bundle of nerves, sending pleasant sensations through my body. I can feel that coiling in my stomach already starting to build up as she uses her hands to open my sex to her. Her warm breath against my tender flesh is driving me crazy.

I'm helpless to stop the slight jerk of my hips as she pushes her tongue into me. I'm overwhelmed by so many sensations washing over me and I can't seem to describe any of them. That coil in my stomach is tightening with every movement of her tongue as she thrusts, twists, and drags her tongue around, driving me closer to the edge. She continues her teasing motions for a few minutes, being careful not to give me enough to push me over the edge, before she completely removes her mouth from me. "No," I pant out as I squirm against my restraints. "You can't stop, Alex," I groan out as I push my hips up closer to her face.

She merely chuckles in response as she pushes my hips back down against the mattress. "Oh don't worry, I'm not done with you yet," She husks out as two fingers push abruptly into me. I moan out as my back arches but I force my hips to stay flat against the mattress so that she doesn't stop pleasuring me. She moves her fingers in and out of me in sync, providing enough teasing strokes to make me feel like I'm going to explode but not enough to send me flying. God, it hurts; my arousal is to the point of painful now and I know that I'd beg her if she asked me to. I needed her to finish me off but she seemed to want to torture me and drag out my arousal.

"Please," I mutter and suddenly those words turn into a chant as she continues stroking me, increasing her pressure as she goes. My repetition must have encouraged her because now I'm painfully close to the edge, just one more push… Warmth surrounds me and I can feel her tongue toying with my straining bundle before I feel myself flying over the edge. The room grows quiet as waves of pleasure roll over me, each wave more intense than the last. Finally, I release the breath that I was holding as she slowly pumps in and out of me, bringing me down from my high. I try to say something but my mouth is dry and I can only manage to croak out something inaudible. God, the things she does to me. I can feel heat rolling over my body and there's no question that I'm covered in a light layer of sweat from her ministrations. I try to lean up slightly, forgetting that I'm still bound to the headboard which results in me falling back down against her pillows.

By the time my ears have stopped ringing, she's laying down next to me with a cocky smirk plastered across her face. "You look awfully smug," I mutter as look over her beautiful face.

"I believe I have a reason to look smug," She counters as she straddles my upper torso. My eyes widen in response as my arousal increases again. Instead of touching me like I expect, she reaches up to the headboard and starts untying the scarves that are around my wrists. Once they're free, my hands immediately find purchase on the back of her thighs, dragging her forward until her sex is above my face. She gasps out in response, clearly surprised. "What are you doing?" She breathlessly questions.

"What do you think?" I ask as I try to drag her thong down her legs but the awkward position doesn't allow me to do so. I grow frustrated and instead tug on the lacy scrap and it pulls off easily.

"Olivia!" She exclaims as she glances over at her now destroyed thong. "I really liked those."

"I'll buy you another one," I respond as I force her thighs further open, bringing her closer to me. I really don't have the effort to support my head up as I take her over the edge so I need her to lower herself on me. I grip the inside of her thighs a bit painfully as she immediately sinks lower onto the bed, opening herself more for me while bringing her at the perfect level. "God, you drive me crazy," I mutter right before I lean up, tasting her arousal.

She immediately moans out in response, her hands clinging to the headboard in order to steady herself. It doesn't take long for me to bring her to the edge with teasing strokes around her straining bundle. She's squirming against me as she tries her best to stay still, my hands digging into her hips which will no doubt leave a few bruises. "Harder. Oh god, harder," Alex moans out as her hips lower even further down, pushing my tongue deeper inside of her. How such simple words could sound so sensual, I don't know. I want nothing more than to drive her over the edge and bring her as much pleasure as she brought me.

I finally let my tongue press against where she wants me the most and it only takes seconds before she's flying over the edge. I try my best to support her as her hips jerk against me and her screams fill the room, not worrying about anyone else hearing her. After long moments, she finally releases her white-knuckle grip from around the headboard and slides down my body, settling down next to me. "The things you do to me," She mutters weakly as she rests her head against my shoulder, not caring that we're both rather sweaty.

"Look who's talking," I quip back as I wrap my arm around her, pulling her closer to me. She seems resistant at first and I realize that she was never really one to cuddle after sex. I loosen up my grip, allowing her to move away from me if she wants but she doesn't. She doesn't move away but she also doesn't get any closer to me.

"What do you say we go get some breakfast?" She questions as she traces her hand up and down my firm abdomen. "The café?"

I laugh in response. "We smell like sex, Alex. I don't think Margaret would be very thrilled if we showed up like this."

"We can shower," She replies back as she pushes herself up so that she can look at me. She smirks at me before pushing off of the mattress and walking around the room naked, gathering her clothes. She tosses me some clothes to wear and I watch as she walks into the bathroom. A second later, her head pops out again and she looks at me curiously. "Are you joining me or what?" My eyes widen before I jump out of the bed and follow her into the bathroom. Hell yes, I am. Is that even a question?


	19. Falling

We're lying in her bed, still catching our breath after our latest round of sex. I'm on my back, a position I find the most comfortable right after having sex. Typically, Alex will roll away from me or maybe next to me in order to catch her breath but it's different this time; this time she is cuddled up against me, her arm across my abdomen with her head on my shoulder and a leg between mine. I can't help but wonder what changed. A few days ago she would've rolled away from me and I wouldn't have questioned it; she wasn't one for intimate contact after sex.

Sometimes I wonder if she ever thought what we did was anything more than 'fucking' because she never seems to need a more intimate connection expect that strange night, weeks prior. Sometimes I want more than just fucking. And then sometimes I don't. Sure, we said we would try to make this into something more and we've done brunch a few times, I took her out for dinner once, and we eat lunch together practically every other day if we have time but it still doesn't feel right.

I guess that's just the romantic in me; initially I thought I would be okay with fucking her, I mean who wouldn't want to have sex with her? She's drop dead gorgeous, every inch of her, even with she's dressed in a power suit. I had wondered for years what she looked like under those tight skirts and low cut blouses and can you blame me? The way she leaned up against my desk every time she visited the precinct, allowing her skirt to rise up just enough to give me a teasing view of her thighs. It had taken all my willpower not to reach out and touch her one of those times. And then there were those few moments when she'd lean far too closely to me, close enough that if I were to glance down, I could see down the blouse that I had been drooling over all day. Did she know what she did to me? What she still does to me?

Her fingers are slowly tracing along my abdomen and it's slightly uncomfortable since I'm still over heated with a sheen of sweat covering my body. I can feel her finger sliding across my slick abdomen but she doesn't seem to care, maybe because she's just as sweaty as I am and rightfully so. Everything feels so perfect right now and I don't want to ask her why she's snuggled up against me but a deeper part of me is desperate to know. This isn't like her. My mind plays back to the first night we ever slept together, remembering the ways her body moved so beautifully against mine, so passionately. While things were still rather heated between us and the sex certainly wasn't lacking, I still felt empty inside.

I used to kid myself into believing that I didn't want anything more than a one night stand. Hell, I had dozens of them over the years, male, female, stranger, coworker, I didn't really think twice about it as long as I knew that they were clean. I thought I would be fine with sleeping with Alex just once. Just once should've been enough to see what I've wanted to see for years, touch what I've wanted to touch for years, taste what I've wanted to taste for years…But it wasn't. Hell, I don't think I'll ever get tired of having her in my bed, I just wish that this could feel more like a relationship and less like a friends with benefits deal.

"So," Alex mumbled against my chest as she traced her finger all the way down to my navel, circling it, before sliding her finger back up. "Are you in a good mood?"

My ears perk up at her words. What was she getting at? "I'd say I'm pretty content considering what we just did about…" I pause and pretend to think for a few seconds. "Eight times. Why?"

She chuckles in response and I can feel it reverberate through my body since she's laying against me. "Well," She starts off before pausing. She leans up slightly so that she can look at me. "I figured now would be a good time to ask you if you'd like to accompany me to a fashion show tonight." I arch an eyebrow and she relents, finally clueing me into why she was being so cuddly. "My parents will be there."

"Is that why you're cuddling with me rather than just rolling away like usual?" I can't help myself even though I know I'm digging my own grave.

She frowns in response as if she's about to argue but she shakes her head to herself. "I guess, I'm sorry," She mutters as she lays back down against my chest, oddly enough. Initially I thought that it was part of her plan to warm me up to the idea by cuddling with me, something I seemed to always want but she didn't. But now that she was laying against me again despite admitting that it was only to make me more agreeable, well now it didn't really seem like she was telling me the truth.

"Alright," I relent and I can feel her head jerk up so that she can look at me.

"You're serious?"

"Yes," I reply as I nod. Of course I'm serious, I'd do anything for her just to see her smile. "I'll go with you but you're picking out my outfit."

"I already purchased your outfit," She replies before she places a hand over her mouth; clearly she hadn't meant to say that to me. "I mean I have something you can wear?" She tries but I'm no fool.

"You were that confident that sex and snuggling would get me to go with you?" I question with an arched eyebrow. And there's that smile that I do this all for.

"Well I was hoping you would go with me just because. The sex was just a little more encouragement which seemed to work in my favor," She replies back as her grin grows.

"You're something else, you know that?" I mutter and she smiles even wider as she leans back down, intent on connecting our lips. As I'm about to taste her, a thudding fills the room, causing her to pull back. My eyebrows furrow in confusion as I look at her sideways.

"The door," She replies as she listens for a few more seconds before someone knocks again. "I guess they'll get an eyeful," She states with a smirk as she pushes herself off of me and grabs her robe from the bathroom. I can't help but admire her figure in that silk robe; it's so thin that I can easily see the swell of her ass and her nipples poking through the fabric from her arousal.

"Hurry back," I toss out as she walks out of the bedroom and toward the front door. After a few minutes, she hasn't returned nor have I heard anything so naturally my detective instincts kick in. I extract myself from her bed and pull on my own robe, one that she had bought me a few days ago for when we spent some time in her bed together.

I exit her bedroom and head toward the door only to see Alex's back to me, her arms crossed against her chest defensively. I can't see who is on the other side so I take another step into the room, trying to hear what they're saying.

"You said tonight, it's only six!" Alex argues and my ears perk up. She sighs before taking a step back, opening up the door wider, revealing her guests. Shit. It's too late to run back into her bedroom so I'm left staring at her parents as they look me up and down, no doubt taking in my attire and Alex's attire as well.

"Detective," Alexander states as he clears his throat, looking me over and pinning me with a disapproving glare.

I stare at him in shock as he raises an eyebrow, waiting for me to respond. "I—I was just…" I mutter off, pleading Alex with my eyes to jump in and save me at any point.

"You were just what, Detective?" Alexander questions as he turns back to Alex and then to me again. "Strip searching my daughter?"

"Father!" Alex snaps as she turns to glare at him.

"If you're going to live this way you could at least keep it a bit more under wraps, Alexandra. I highly doubt the public wants to know that one of your detectives is performing nightly _cavity_ searches on you," He mumbles in response with an eye roll to accentuate his point.

"I told you eight o'clock tonight and yet you decided to show up early anyway," Alex argues back as she steps in front of me, blocking her father from continuing to glare at me.

"Yes, and you said you had more important plans," Alexander replies as he crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow at his daughter. I know I should probably jump in and break up this little argument but something tells me that Alex often has these fights with her father. He's a bigger ass than I initially thought.

"I did," Alex replies simply; her back is still turned to me but I can tell she has a smirk on her face by her tone. Oh dear god, please don't say what I think you're about to say. "I was busy having sex with my girlfriend and as you can see," She pauses to gesture between her robe and mine before continuing, "You interrupted that."

"Alex!" I exclaim between clenched teeth. I didn't think her father could possibly hate me anymore but now I'm sure that he wants to kill me by the look on his face.

"Olivia, why don't you go shower," Alex states rather than questions. There was no room in her tone for argument so I nod in response. "I'll join you in a few minutes." Seriously, Alex? I can feel Alexander's eyes digging into the back of my head as I walk toward her bedroom.

A few minutes later, I'm busy letting the hot water pound over my face, blocking out all sounds. I feel a pair of arms wrap around my waist before lips press up against my shoulder. "Sorry," She mumbles against my skin as she pushes my wet hair to the side, exposing my neck to her. She kisses up the length of my neck and I take a step back, removing us from the beating water since I'm sure she was being soaked by it.

I turn around in her arms, smiling in response to her half wet blonde locks which are awkwardly clinging to the side of her face since she hasn't pushed them back. I reach out and do it for her, cupping her cheek slightly. She hesitates for a second before crashing our lips together, pushing me up against the wall, causing the water to beat down on her as she kisses me. My hands immediately tighten their grip around her face before I force her back slightly. "What?" She questions with a look of concern on her face. "What's wrong?"

"Your father," I reply as I scrunch up my face and shake my head. "Did he leave?"

"Yes," She replies as she leans in to kiss me again but I dodge her. "What's wrong now?" She questions as she rests her hands on my hips and runs them up and down, teasing my thighs.

"Alex, not to be rude or anything but your father kind of killed the mood," I mumble, his face still prominent in my mind as she looks me over.

"Let me help you get back into the mood then," She replies with a smirk and I allow her to kiss me. She is certainly insatiable; we had just spent close to two hours having sex earlier and somehow she's already ready for more. I can feel her hands running over my slick body, easily gliding across the water droplets that are scattered across my abdomen and breasts. I moan against her mouth as my hands migrate down to her hips, thumbs stroking between her hips and dipping lower every second. "In the mood yet?" She mumbles against my lips, not quite wanting to pull away and break the kiss.

"Yeah," I reply back between kisses, pulling her hips firmly against mine.

"Good," She replies against my lips again before trailing her lips down my neck. I moan in approval as my head tips back, thudding against her shower wall. "I think I've been bad, Detective Benson." My eyes flash open as I look down at the devious smirk that's spread across her face. I arch an eyebrow in response; that was new.

"Oh?" I question, somehow managing to sound normal even though internally my brain is fried. I have an inkling that I know what she's trying to get at and it's only increasing my arousal.

"Mhm," She moans out as she pulls her lower lip between her teeth, tugging on it in a suggestive manner. She slowly lets her lip slide out from between her teeth as her eyes rake over my body. "I think you might need to perform a cavity search," She husks out as runs her hands over my breasts.

There aren't enough curse words that could explain how I'm feeling right now, so instead I stick to expressing myself with actions. My right hand immediately finds its way between her legs, slipping three fingers into her slick heat as my left hand pulls her body roughly against mine. She gasps out probably in pain from the sudden intrusion as her hands wrap around my shoulders, gripping there tightly as I pump roughly in and out of her.

I can tell that she had planned to continue this game, teasing me with her words but she seems to be speechless now and I like her this way. I can feel her nails digging into my shoulder blades as I thrust into her tight core, no doubt stretching her enough to make it hurt a bit. I had taken her roughly before but I always eased her into it if I planned on using any more than two fingers. She was always incredibly tight and I was genuinely surprised that she could take a strap-on at all.

Within minutes, she's panting out faster as she clings to my shoulders, her forehead pressed up against the wall behind me as she rocks her body against my hand, increasing her contact. Her hips are jerking now, trying desperately to take her over the edge. I continue stroking her front walls which earns me a moan. If there's one thing that I've learned about her, it's that her most intense orgasms come from stroking that special little patch of flesh fast and hard.

I do just that and I'm rewarded with her moans filling my ears as her body freezes against my hand, her nails digging roughly against my back. There's no doubt in my mind that I'll have noticeable scratch marks across my back but the feeling of her desperately clenching around my fingers makes it worth it.

I continue stroking her through her high which is probably too much for her considering the sharp gasp and tightening of her thighs around my hand. I ignore it and continue my ministrations and before I know it, she's clenching tightly around my fingers again. I hear a strangled sob come from her as her fingers curl up, scratching roughly against my skin and her chin presses against my shoulder. I take the hint and stop my movements inside of her, letting her come down on her own.

I carefully slip my fingers out of her and she groans in response as she shifts her thighs apart, giving me more room. My hands return to their place on her thighs, steadying her as she moves her legs back together, wincing slightly as she glances back up at me. "It's a good thing I'm not the one walking down the runway tonight," She mutters as she takes a step back and allows the water to beat down on her face.

"We're still going to that?" I question as I watch the hot water drip down her lean body wishing I could be one of those water droplets.

"Of course," She replies back without pulling her head out from under the water. "Can you hand me the shampoo?" I grab the shampoo and pop it open, squirting some into her awaiting hands before she lathers it through her hair. I follow her lead, internally dreading the moment I have to see her parents again. I don't know what Alex said to them to get them to leave but if I had to guess, it was something to do with sex and showering with me. It's not that I really care what they think of me, it's just that I was hoping to make a good impression on them, especially if I planned to continue my relationship with Alex, which I certainly did.

"Your parents hate me," I mumble as she steps out from the water, allowing me to rinse my hair. I feel a pair of hands push mine to the side before she runs her fingers through my shampooed locks, washing away the bubbles.

"No, they just don't like the fact that I'm sleeping with you," She replies as she runs her fingers through my hair, unknotting my locks as she goes. "I'm sure they'd love you if I had introduced you as a friend and I was the perfect straight daughter that they wanted."

"I'm sorry your father treats you that way," I tell her as I feel her wring out my hair before running conditioner through it.

"It's part of being a Cabot," She replies as she wryly chuckles. "Sometimes I wish I was straight too but then I have mind blowing sex with you and realize that I don't really give a crap what anyone thinks about me. I have my highs and lows," She mutters, letting her words trail off as if she's thinking. "Sometimes I just want to scream at the next guy who tries to bed me that I'm a lesbian but then I think about all the consequences that I'll face, not to mention the fact that I'd be under intense scrutiny from the DA's office and quite possibly fired for sleeping with you." Shit, I hadn't really given much thought to how our relationship could impact our cases. We are both mature enough not to manipulate one another into getting what the other wants but the defense might argue the opposite. "Anyway, do your parents know about your preference?"

"I don't really consider it a preference," I reply, trying to dodge the question in any way that I can as she runs her fingers through my hair as the conditioner washes out. "I've been with men and I've been with women. I guess I don't really care about gender as long as I like the person enough."

She chuckles softly in response as she wrings out my hair, allowing me to turn around and face her. "Well do you parents know that you're an equal opportunity lover?" She teases as she runs conditioner through her own hair.

"No," I reply as I turn away from her, busying myself with body wash. I can feel her looking at me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," She replies as she studies me while I wash the remainder of my body.

"It's fine," I reply with a shrug. "My mom's dead and well, I like to pretend that he is as well." I'm too afraid to tell her any more than that. How would she react if she knew she was showering with a rapist's daughter? That she had sex multiple times with a rapist's daughter?

"I—I have a confession to make," She tells me and I pause, looking up at her. "I read your file before I met you." My eyes widen in shock as I look at her. What the hell? "I was curious to see who I'd be working with and I had connections and I know it was wrong to do and that it was a violation of your privacy. I had completely forgotten about what I had read until your response seconds ago. I—I forgot and I really didn't mean to bring this up. I'm sorry."

I continue staring at her in shock as she looks down at the floor in shame. "And you don't care?" She looks up at me in confusion. "You don't care that you're sleeping with a rapist's daughter? That his DNA is in me and that I could turn on you and do what he did to my mother to you?"

"Olivia," She sighs as she takes a step closer to me, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling our bodies together. "I told you I had completely forgotten about what I had read and I normally don't forget things. The truth is, the person that I read about in that file turned out to be nothing like the amazing, dedicated detective that I met the following day. What's in that file doesn't make you who you are. I know you as this crusader for justice, someone that every single victim feels comfortable going to when they're breaking apart. Don't compare yourself to him because you're nothing like him and I would never be afraid of you."

As her words sink in, I finally realize why I'm so head over heels in love with her. Despite her cold exterior, she's just as loving, if not more, than the next person. She's been taught her whole life to hide her feelings toward women and that seems to be something that has stuck with her through the years.

The furthest thing from my mind right now is my rapist father; instead, I'm focused on her touch, her gentle caress. All I want to do is carry her back to the bed and kiss her until she realizes that there's nothing wrong with her. There's nothing wrong with _us_.


	20. Yours

As we walk into the building where the fashion show is being held, I can't help but noticed the dozens of heads that turn and seem to follow Alex. I wonder if they think she's supposed to be one of the models, she certainly looks like she could be with that gorgeous blue number she's in. I don't blame them for staring, the top shows the perfect amount of cleavage, the entirety of her back is on display minus a thin strip covered by fabric, and her legs look fantastic in those pumps. Oh, and then there's me in the black slacks, heels, white blouse, and blazer she had picked me out. While I admit, I do look good, it's certainly not as drool worthy as her attire.

Suddenly a couple of bright flashes pull me back into reality and I frown at a few people with cameras bigger than their face, snapping photos. I lean over toward her slightly so I can whisper in her ear. "Why the hell are people taking pictures of us?"

She merely chuckles in response, forcing a smile as if she knows that the cameras are still going off. "Just go with it," She replies as she grabs onto my arm with one hand, holding the inside of my elbow before her other hand cups over that hand. Oh dear god Alex, what are you doing? Something tells me her parents are actually the host of this event, hence why their name is on the pamphlets people were handing out and all the ID cards for the workers had 'Cabot' written on them. More flashes blind me and I can hear the rapid fire clicking of the cameras, no doubt reacting to Alex's affectionate—or should I say dominate—display.

I continue walking until we're away from the photographers. I probably looked pretty stupid as I forced a smile on my face and pretended that Alex touching me in public was a normal occurrence. "How'd you like your first walk of fame?" Alex asks with a raised eyebrow as we walk through the narrow hallway, heading toward the seating arrangements.

I glance back at the door where I can faintly see the lights flashing before turning back to her. "It felt more like a perp walk," I quip which earns me a soft chuckle from her as she leans against me, tipping her head in my direction. I smile in response as she continues leading me toward the front few rows.

"So," She states as we stand in front of the front row where there are reserved signs spread out. "Do you want to sit next to one of my parents or a stranger?"

"Is that even a question?" I ask. There's no way in hell that I'm going to purposely endure more time near her father. Her mother didn't seem too bad but I'd rather get punched by a perp than sit next to her dad.

She sighs as she sits down in a chair, pulling me down next to her. "Fine, make me sit next to him," She grumbles as more people start to file into the room, taking their seats.

"He is _your_ dad," I reply as I nudge her with my elbow. She mutters something that I can't quite discern before glancing around, clearly looking for someone.

Fifteen minutes later, her father is seated next to her and her mother next to him. I'm acutely aware of his eyes digging into me as he looks over Alex's shoulders. She seems to catch onto his gaze because a second later her hand is on top of my thigh, her fingers curving along my inner thigh. Apparently that was one way to get him to back off because I heard a grumble before he settled back into his chair, averting his gaze.

It doesn't take long for the room to fill up and the lights to dim down, the runway lighting up immediately with bright strips of white light. We watch in silence as the designer is introduced before model after model begins strolling down the runway. I can't help but compare them to Alex. Certainly they're attractive, each in their own way, but they have nothing on her. I can see the curve of her pale jaw as she looks up at the runway, watching intently. I want to just lean over and kiss her right below jaw but in front of her ear because that perfect spot makes her moan out in the most intoxicating way.

She turns toward me, arching up one sculptured eyebrow as her hand squeezes my thigh, her fingers pushing further up until they've hit the seam of my pants and I can see a small smirk playing across her lips. My hand covers hers instinctively, stopping her from doing something in the public eye that I know she'll regret. Believe me when I say I'm the last person who _wants _to stop her but I know I _have_ to or else we'd make quite the scene.

She taps her index finger against the inside of my thigh, right beneath crotch, teasingly scraping her nail across my slacks. Is she trying to drive me crazy? I tighten my legs, holding her hands in place and I can see her lips purse as if she's considering her options. Eventually she relents, sliding her hand back down onto my thigh and resting there for the remainder of the show—well what we managed to sit through before she stood up, gesturing for me to follow her.

She pulls me into the bathroom and I lean up against the sink, looking at her curiously. "Aren't you going to use the bathroom?" I question as she just stands in front of me.

"No, I don't actually have to go," She replies as she smirks again, glancing around her to make sure we're alone before she slowly presses her body up against mine.

"Uh uh, no funny business," I tell her, hoping I sound somewhat convincing even though I know my body is saying something completely different.

She frowns as she looks into my eyes, pecking me on the lips once. "Please?" She questions as she looks at me with those damn blue eyes. "Let's get out of here. The show is boring anyway."

I purse my lips, pretending to think about it even though I was rather miserable during the show. The women were beautiful, the clothes fashionable, but the only person I wanted to see modeling for me was the blonde in front of me. "On one condition," I tell her as a smirk plays across my face.

"Oh?" She asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, since I'm not going to be able to finish the show I think you should finish it for me back at your apartment. You could model this little number for me," I tell her as I drag a single finger down her bare chest, between her breasts before finally reaching her blue dress.

"You drive a hard bargain," She replies with her best attempt of a straight face but I can see right through it. Tonight was going to be fun.

* * *

I'm reclining against the head of her bed, smiling at her and rightfully so as she walks across the room in her blue dress, her hands on her hips. "Turn around," I tell her as I twirl a single finger. She shoots me a quick glare before acquiescing, slowly, almost shyly turning around. She drapes her blonde hair over one shoulder, revealing the expanse of her back to me as she glances at me over her shoulder. My eyes trail down her bare back before gliding over her dress and settling on her rear. There's something about her ass that just drives me crazy but before I have time to properly admire her shapely curves in the dress, she turns back around.

"You got your show," She purrs as she places her hands on the bottom of the mattress, leaning over so that I could see the gap between her breasts. "I think it's time you reward me."

I shake my head in response. "Model something else for me," I request and she frowns in response, pushing herself back up off the mattress.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah," I reply with a shrug. "Show me something that you don't often wear. I want to get the full effect," I tell her. She studies me for a few seconds before the corner of her lips twitch up into a smile as she strides over to her closet, pulling out a few items before slipping into the bathroom.

A minute later, she comes out in a pair of sweatpants and an oversized sweatshirt, a huge grin on her face. "That's…not what I was expecting," I reply as I frown slightly even though in truth, she looks absolutely adorable in the sweatshirt considering that she's practically swimming in it. She playfully sticks her tongue out at me as she spins around.

"What, you don't think this is sexy?" She teases as she tugs at her sweatpants, pulling onto the white cord that tightens the waist.

"Anything is sexy on you," I reply smoothly and she rolls her eyes in response before slipping back into the bathroom.

A few minutes later, she slips out again in an oversized button up and the most vibrant pink scarf that I've ever seen. I can't help but laugh as I take in her attire, immediately zoning in on the pair of long socks that adorn her feet. "Alex!" I cry out as I slip down the bed, holding onto my stomach as I laugh. "You look ridiculous!"

"What, you don't like it?" She jokes as she pulls off the scarf, tossing it at me. I grab onto it, balling it up before tossing it back at her. "I thought it was adorable," She jokes as she playfully huffs at me before going back into the bathroom.

"You better not come back out here in something atrocious!" I yell back at her as I take a deep breath, soothing my sore abdomen from laughing.

Of course, when she comes back out again she's wearing a pair of neon rainbow shorts with a black shirt. I immediately break out into laughter again as I read the bold lettering on her shirt: _Your body is 65% water and I'm thirsty_. "Why the hell do you have that shirt?" I manage to ask between laughing spurts. God, I don't think my abdomen has ever hurt this much.

"It was a gift," She replies back as she crawls onto the bed, playfully poking at my abdomen that I'm still clinging to.

"I take it you've never worn that shirt in public before?" I ask once I manage to control my laughter. I spread out across her mattress, one arm over my stomach as I look up at the adorable blush on her face, no doubt from me laughing at her.

"You're the only person who has ever seen me in it," She admits as the blush deepens a bit. "And you better not tell anyone about this!" She exclaims as she prods my sternum with a single finger and grins at me.

"Our little secret," I reply back as I stare up at her, lost in those gorgeous blue eyes which seem to be shining again as she looks down at me.

I reach up in a flash and pull her down on top of me before flipping us over. "Olivia!" She exclaims as she looks up at me. I quickly dig into my pants pocket before extracting something that makes her eyes widen. "Don't you dare," She warns as I unlock my phone and pull up the camera app.

"Too late," I reply as I hold the camera up, aiming it at her face and chest.

"No!" She squeals as she holds up both of her hands, blocking the camera's view as she rocks her hips up, trying to get me off of her.

"Come on," I tease as I grab onto her wrists with both of my hands, pinning them above her head. I manage to get both of her hands under one hand and I grab my phone with the other again, holding it up as her hips buck against me.

"Olivia!" She yells at me as she finally manages to wiggle me off of her. Somehow she winds up on top of me, our hands fighting for the phone. We struggle for a few seconds before I manage to flip her over again. "Give me the phone!"

"Not until I get a picture of this!" I reply as I try to hold up the phone once more. She reaches up, pushing my hands back as we tumble backwards.

I yelp out as I feel myself fall off of the bed, her body following mine since we're tangled together at this point. I land on her wooden floor with a thud and her body collapses on top of mine, both of us breaking out into a fit of laughter. I can feel her forehead pressed up against my neck as her body shakes from laughter above mine. Somehow my hands wound up on her hips, probably trying to keep her from falling off of me.

She pulls back, her face reddened from laughter and her hair ruffled up with blonde strands pointing in every which direction. "You're so cute," I mutter as I ruffle up her hair some more with my hands. She frowns as she tries to straighten it up before giving up, messing up my hair in return.

We continue laughing for a few minutes before we finally manage to control ourselves. "Did you enjoy your fashion show?" Alex questions with a devious smirk.

One of my hands drop off of her hips, searching around the ground until I find my phone. In a flash, I pull it in front of her, quickly snapping a photo. "Now I did!"

"Olivia!" She screams out as she pushes the phone down but it's too late. I'm keeping that photo forever. "You're such a pain in the ass."

"Yeah but I'm your pain in the ass," I reply back as I nudge her shoulder.

"You are and don't you forget it," She tells me with a smile across her face as she lowers her head closer to mine. Her bright blue eyes flash between my lips and my eyes, the smile still prominent on her face as she presses her lips up against mine. I can feel her smile widen as we kiss. I slip my tongue into her mouth, tasting her as she moans out in response. After seconds, maybe minutes later, she pulls away, that same smile still residing on her lips.

"I won't," I reply back truthfully before pushing myself up into a sitting position, her hands grabbing onto my shoulders to steady herself. "Now, I do believe I was promised something else," I tell her as I suggestively grab onto the hem of her shirt, slowly trailing it up her body.

She hums in response as she lifts up her arms, allowing me to toss the shirt to the side. "I always keep my promises," She teases as she stands up off of the floor, holding out a hand for me. She pulls me up off of the floor before shoving me back down on the mattress, wasting no time to crawl on top of me.


	21. Couches and Coworkers

"Fuck, Liv," Alex groans out, her fingernails digging into my bare back as I thrust into her from above. She's laying on her back on my living room couch, blonde locks splayed out across the couch pillow, ankles locked around my back, and thighs clenching on either side of my hips. "Oh god," She moans out as her head tips back, her hips erratically pumping against mine, trying to get more.

I take advantage of her momentary state of weakness to kiss her neck, sucking at it just enough to leave a mark. It's perfectly placed so that it's too high for her to cover up with a collared shirt and probably a scarf as well. I kiss over the rapidly forming bruise, breathing in her intoxicating scent as I keep thrusting into her.

"Harder, I'm almost there," She orders me as I keep thrusting into her with my strap-on. I certainly don't plan on stopping any time soon. I admire her face, small beads of sweat forming across her forehead. The wrinkles there are absolutely adorable as she pinches her eyes shut, desperately waiting for me to take her there. A loud thumping stops me from continuing to admire her and I slow my motions as I try to figure out what was making that sound.

"Fuck, Liv, don't stop," She groans out as she claws at my back, one hand reaching up to grab my head so that she can pull me closer to her. I pick up my motions again but it only takes a few more seconds before the thumping continues.

"Liv, open up! I know you're home," Elliot calls out, his annoying voice echoing through the walls. Finally I realize that the thumping was him pounding on my door, of course, on my day off.

"I swear I will withhold sex for the next two weeks if you stop now," Alex practically growls out as she pulls me down to her, her hips pushing up against the strap-on as she tries to take herself over the edge since I have slowed my movement. She always likes it harder and faster toward the end and I'm certainly not doing that for her right now.

"You couldn't go that long without sex," I tease her as I pick up my pace again, thrusting into her harder. I certainly wasn't going to disappoint my girlfriend; I feared her more than Elliot.

"Oh shut—ahhh!" Alex screams out as I hit that perfect spot inside of her, causing her to throw her head back against the couch pillow. I immediately clamp one of my hands over her mouth, silencing her moans. Elliot certainly doesn't need to hear us having sex.

"Liv! I know it's your day off but we've got a case!" Elliot calls out again, the pounding continuing on the door.

Alex pulls on my hair, bringing my head down next to hers as I ease up on her mouth so that I can hold myself up. "One more minute, tops," She whispers into my ear and I smirk as I continue thrusting into her. I switch my weight onto the left side of my body so that right hand can snake down between her legs. I toy with her small nub, knowing that rubbing her there will bring her over the edge quicker than just penetration. "Oh fuck," She moans out between clenched teeth, trying her best to stay quiet.

"Shh," I whisper into her ear as I press my lips against her neck, kissing around the dark bruise that now resides there. "We wouldn't want Elliot to hear, now would we?"

"At this point I don't care!" She groans out, her heels digging into my lower back as she slide her legs further up my body, switching the angle at which I am entering her from. "Oh god, yes."

"Shh," I warn her as I toy with her clit, applying direct pressure. "You may not care but I do. Don't make me withhold sex from you."

"You love me too much to do that," She mumbles as she rolls her head to the side, giving me better access to her neck. I contemplate if she is aware of what she just said but I push those thoughts to the side. Before either of us know what's going on, there's light streaming through my dark living room, illuminating Alex's face in the most alluring way. Her bright blue eyes flash open, widening as she looks behind me. Nails dig into my back far too harshly and I groan out as she pulls at my hair until my body is flush against hers. I finally realize that the light flooding into my living room was from the front door…

Stupidly, I look over my shoulder, only to catch Elliot's wandering eyes as he tries to see into my dark apartment. We immediately caught each other's gaze and his eyes widen but he doesn't make a move to look away from me. I fumble around for a split second, grabbing onto the blanket on the back of the couch and tossing it over my bare back. At least Alex was in too much of a hurry to take my jeans off completely and had just pulled the strap-on out from between my boxers.

As I pull the blanket down, I manage to lose my balance, causing me to tumble to the floor, Alex following my path since her legs were still wrapped around my body. I grimace as my back connects with my hardwood floor before realizing that Alex was now laying completely naked on top of me. I barely manage to cover her lower half with a blanket before Fin and Munch rush into the room, no doubt in response to the sound of us falling to the floor.

"Elliot, what the fuck!" I finally manage to scream out as Alex immediately hides her head against my shoulder, no doubt trying to keep everyone from seeing that it's her.

"I—I didn't know!" He mumbles, stumbling on his words as he finally covers his eyes.

"Well damn," Fin states as he looks over Alex's bare back before respectfully turning away. "Don't you dare say anything," He tells Munch who is still wide-eyed, looking at the toned, pale body on top of me. I'm suddenly grateful that I managed to cover up her lower half so that all he can see is her back. He certainly wouldn't show any restraint in checking out Alex's ass—then again I don't either. I can't help but wonder if they can tell that it's Alex although I'm sure they know it's her considering the blonde hair.

"Get the hell out!" I yell at all of them, one of my hands clinging to the blanket so that it stays over our lower halves while the other is covering Alex's head, partially trying to conceal her identity while also trying to make sure that she stays on top of me so that my coworkers don't get an eyeful of my naked chest.

Elliot immediately turns around along with Fin but Munch stays in place, a goofy grin on his face and Fin grabs onto his arm, pulling him toward the door. "Fancy seeing you here, Counselor!" He calls out, right before Fin manages to shove him out the door, slamming it behind him.

"Oh my god," Alex states as she finally picks up her head, glaring at me.

"Don't look at me like that! I didn't let them in!" I argue as she pick herself up off of me, groaning as she removes the cock from inside of her. I look at her as she gets up on unsteady legs before I push myself up off of the floor as well. "What, you don't want to finish?" I question, knowing full well that she hates it when she can't get off because she ends up suffering through it the rest of the day.

"No!" She yells at me as she grabs onto the blanket, covering her naked torso before walking into my bedroom. "Do you really think I want to continue having sex after the entire squad I work with sees me naked and on top of you?" She asks once I follow her into my bedroom.

"Well I don't know," I grumble as I grab onto my clothes, throwing on a pair of sweatpants and a shirt after disposing of my soiled clothes. "You always hate it when you can't—"

"Don't. We are not even going to discuss this right now," She says as she flops down onto my mattress and groans. "I can't believe they walked in on us fucking."

"I'm sorry," I offer up as I lean down giving her a quick kiss on the side of her head. "I'm going to go see what they need and then I'll be sure to ream them all out for using my damn key and walking in on us. And don't worry, I'll make sure that they stay quiet about what they saw," I assure her, leaving after I saw a small nod from her.

I pull open my apartment door, finding them all standing around like idiots. "What the hell do you want?" I snap as I cross my arms over my chest, narrowing my eyes at Munch in specific.

"To see that again but like a few minutes earlier," Munch quips as he grins, winking at me.

"I swear to god," I mumble as I take a step closer to him, ready to strangle him.

Elliot immediately steps in the way, cutting me off. "Okay, relax Liv, and Munch, shut the hell up before she castrates you, man."

"I will," I tell him as I glare at him, taking a step back.

"Captain told us to go pick you up on the way to a house. Six kids that were most likely trafficked were found alive and we figured you'd be the best and getting them to trust us," Elliot explains.

I groan in response, knowing that they had a good enough excuse to barge into my apartment. I was the only female on the squad and children naturally trusted me over men since typically they were abused by males. "Okay, give me five minutes to get dressed in proper clothing and I'll meet you outside."

"Take ten," Munch states as he walks down the hallway, far enough away from me. "You smell like sex."

I glare at him before entering my apartment again, slamming the door behind me. "Asshole," I grumble as I walk back into my bedroom only to find no one in my bed. I glance around before I hear the shower running.

With a smirk on my face, I strip out of my clothes and slip into the shower with my girlfriend. "Are they gone?" She questions as she leans back, washing shampoo out of her hair.

"For now," I tell her as my eyes run down her body and back up, greedily admiring her figure. "But I have to go in and I'm kind of hungry," I husk out as I walk closer to her, pushing out bodies together until she's pressed up against the wall.

"Liv," She warns as she glares at me but her hips move forward, telling me that she wants me. We stay like that for a few seconds before she picks up one of her legs, setting it on the ledge so that her core is open to me. "Fine but quickly," She mumbles as she wraps her arms around my neck and my hand finds its way between her legs. Munch did say to take ten minutes…


	22. Our Own Good

The familiar clicking of heels fills the room and I force myself to focus on the case file in front of me just a little bit longer. Hold out, Liv, hold out… I don't bother trying to focus once she leans against the corner of my desk, her long pale legs filling my vision. I drop down the file and smile as I look up at Alex.

"Afternoon Counselor," I say with a smirk, purposely trailing my eyes down her body rather slowly. When I return to her face her cheeks are slightly pink, blushing in response to my motions.

"It's almost evening," She comments as she looks up at the clock and then back to me. "Are you coming over tonight?"

"Am I invited to?" My eyes widen as Munch's voice fills the room and Alex's eyes dart to his, her cheeks turning a brilliant shade of red. I turn to face him, ready to rip him a new one only to see him wink at Alex, clearly referring to what he walked in on a few days prior.

"Alex," I call out before she has a chance to move because I know she's readying to run. She pushes off of my desk and rushes out of the room despite my protests and I'm left glaring at Munch before I get up and chase after her. "Alex!" I yell as I run to the door, snagging her arm before she gets a chance to fully escape me.

"What?" She snaps as she turns to look at me, her cheeks still bright red.

"Come on, he was just kidding, Alex," I try to explain as I pull her to the side so that our conversation is a little more private. "I'll tell him not to do something like that again, okay?"

"No, Liv, that's not okay," She replies as she leans up against the wall, closing her eyes. She runs her hands over her face in frustration, huffing out in anger. "This isn't okay," She says as she gestures between us. Whatever words I was going to say are instantly lost as I close my mouth, suddenly having an unsettling feeling in my stomach. "I can't do this anymore."

"Alex," I plead as I place my arms on either side of her body, blocking her from leaving, at least until I have my say in this one sided discussion.

"Let me go," She argues as she pushes up against my chest but doesn't bother shoving me away.

"Tell me what's wrong first," I say softly as I lower my arms so that she has a little more room. "One second we're perfectly fine and then the next you're saying that we're not working out. What's going on?"

She sighs as she shakes her head. "Liv, people know," She says as her eyes dart around the room, probably trying to see if anyone is watching us.

"And?" I ask, glancing over my shoulder as well but no one is paying much attention to us.

"And I can't have that happening. Not at work. I could lose my job and you can lose yours. Every case we worked together could be put under scrutiny if a defense attorney finds out."

"You never expressed this as an issue before," I argue as I try to figure out what suddenly brought this all up. Munch can be an asshole sometimes but he certainly wasn't the cause for all of this. It was clear that this has been bothering her for a while.

"Because we weren't serious before," She says before catching herself, her eyes widening slightly before she turns away from me, hoping that I didn't catch her slip. I take a moment as her words run through my mind; I guess she considers our relationship serious now…

"Okay," I whisper softly as I nudge her chin up so that she's looking at me once more. "All couples go through this, Alex. I can tell the other detectives not to mention this ever again and we can disclose our relationship to Cragen and Donnelly." Her eyes widen when I mention disclosing and I suddenly regret bringing it up.

"No," She replies as she shakes her head, pushing my hand away from her face. "I can't do this anymore." She pushes me away from her and steps toward the door, leaving me slack-jawed, staring at the wall.

"What does that mean?" I ask quietly, too afraid to hear the answer.

"It means we both need to move on. It's for our own good," She replies before her heels pick up again, indicating that she's leaving.

I continue staring at the wall for a few seconds as her words sink it. No. She doesn't get to make that call. "The hell it is," I yell as I close the distance between us, stopping her once more a bit more aggressively than normal. "It's not for _our_ own good, it's for your own good! Stop being so damn selfish, Alex, and open up your eyes! Just admit it, you're in love with me and that's why you're so afraid."

She shakes her head as she looks around and it's apparent that I have gathered the attention of others in the precinct. She pulls away from my grip once more and practically sprints away from me, as fast as she can go in her heels. I scowl at the observers who are eavesdropping and run after her again.

I follow her out to the crowded street, pushing my way past walkers in order to reach her. "Alex!" When she doesn't respond, I grab onto her, halting her movement. "Alex, come on, don't do this. Talk to me," I plead as I pull her to the side of the sidewalk.

"I made my decision and I'd appreciate it if you'd honor my choice," She snaps back as she takes a step away from me, not pulling out of my grip yet.

"You're making a stupid choice," I argue as I follow her. "You can't just decide what's best for me. Admit that you're scared and that's why you're doing this and you can walk away."

She doesn't say a word, looking around at the people walking past us. Instead, she pulls at her arm, trying to get away from me. "Let go of me."

"Not until you tell me the truth," I plead with her as I step closer to her. "Come on, Alex."

"I want you to let go of me," She orders as she stares me down but she doesn't bother trying to move away from me.

"You don't mean that," I reply as I take a step closer to her, reaching up to cup her cheek. She doesn't pull away from me, instead tilting her head as if she was reaching for my hand.

Before I can touch her, I feel my arm being pulled back until I'm slammed against the wall. "She told you to let go of her," A muscular man growls out as he pushes me up against the wall.

"Get the hell off of me," I spit at him as I wrench my arm out of his grip, preparing to ID myself to him. Before I get the chance to, however, he pushes me back against the wall and grabs onto Alex, pulling her away from me. "Let go of her!"

"Liv!" She calls out as she fights against the man. "Let me go!" She struggles against him, almost tripping in her heels as he continues pushing her backwards.

I don't think twice as I run up to him, grabbing onto his shoulder before punching him square in the jaw. He stumbles backwards, pushing Alex against the wall before he lands flat on his ass, looking up at me with wide eyes and an angry expression. "Stay down," I growl at him as I finally grab onto my badge, flashing it at him and the curious onlookers. When I look back up, Alex is already gone. What the hell am I doing?

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**A/N: This story will be coming to an end very quickly. Thanks to those of you who stuck with it so far. I do apologize for taking forever to update but I couldn't decide where I wanted this story to go. **


	23. Shiny Eyes and White Lies

Two weeks. Two fucking weeks without a word from Alex. Then again, I wasn't really trying to talk to her either. Fin had graciously offered to pick up warrants and call her when we needed something and Munch learned how to shut the hell up. I wanted to go after her, I really did, but she made her message clear and I wasn't going to make it any worse than I already had. I barely managed to talk my way out of having charges pressed against me for punching a bystander.

"You going to tell me what's on your mind?" Elliot asks me as he leans back in his chair, eyeing me up across our desks.

I glance up at him before dropping my eyes back to the paper work in front of me. "Nothing," I reply as I push myself back from my desk and lean back much like he is doing. I place my hands behind my head and wrap my fingers together, supporting my head as I lean back. I hadn't bothered to tell him about what happened. Alex didn't want people knowing so they wouldn't even though it was rather obvious at this point.

"Doesn't look like nothing. You've been off for a couple of weeks now," He tells me. He's my partner; my longest lasting relationship with a man. Of course he knows that something is up with me but I don't want him to know the painful things she said to me. I knew from the beginning that this wouldn't end well. I should've stopped her the first time she propositioned me with one night. _One night._ That's how this all started and turned into this cluster fuck.

"It's Alex," I tell him after opening up my eyes and looking around the room in order to make sure that no one else is paying attention to us.

"Well I got that much," He teases me as he follows my gaze around the room and scoots in closer, no longer reclining in his chair. "What'd she do?"

"What makes you think she did something?" I counter as I follow his motions and lean forward as well. He raises an eyebrow and I step down, letting him know he was right. "She said it was over. Basically told me that I wasn't worth losing her career."

Elliot stays quiet for a few seconds as his lips purse together and he runs a hand over his short, cropped hair. "Alex is…she's different than most women, Liv." I nod in understanding; I'm not someone that needs to be told that. I've slept with dozens of women and never have I met someone as difficult to understand as her. "Look, if you ask me, she's not worth the trouble. If she doesn't want to be with you then that's her loss." He's so busy complaining about her and I'm too busy letting it soak in that neither of us recognize the familiar clicking of heels against the floor until it's too late. "Hell, I'll take you out tonight, Liv! Lemme call Kathy and I can be your wingman!"

For once, I genuinely smile at the thought of Elliot acting as my wingman. Is that even possible? A man talking me up to another woman? Something tells me that's rather farfetched but at the moment it's hilarious. "Maybe I'll try my luck with a redhead," I chuckle out before pushing back from my desk, glancing around the room. My eyes immediately lock onto blue eyes and my heart drops. She doesn't bother saying anything. Instead, she turns on her heels and rushes out of the precinct as if whatever reason she came to the precinct no longer matters.

"Shit," I mutter as I push out of my chair and stand up, watching her turn the corner as fast as she can. Elliot follows my gaze just as she leaves and grimaces slightly before running his hand over his stubble, grumbling something about good timing. I glance down at him and he nods in understanding before I jog out of the precinct in order to catch her.

"Alex!" I call after her as I follow her to the street much like two weeks prior except this time I don't need to stop her. She pauses dead in her tracks, slowly turning around, hurt written all over her face. "I didn't mean—"

"I'm sorry," She blurts out, cutting me off as she takes a couple of steps closer to me. "I'm so sorry, Liv. I don't know what the hell I was thinking but I was an idiot to say those things to you and I'm so sorry that I hurt you." She holds up her hand, revealing a single yellow rose with red tips. Momentarily I wonder if she knows the meaning that the flower holds, deciding that she must've. "Elliot's right. You deserve better than me and I have no clue why you decided that you wanted to be with me."

She pauses her speech as she holds the rose out to me, waiting for me to take it. I wrap my finger around the vine, careful not to touch any of the small thorns still remaining on the colorful rose. "I'm afraid," She says as she shakes her head and scoffs. "I was so afraid that I decided to let my fear take over and stop me from doing what really made me happy. I'm an idiot, Liv, and I hope that you can forgive me for walking away from you but I'll understand if you can't just forget what I did to you."

Her gaze drops down to the ground as she kicks at a small rock as if she was a nervous child. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that," She pauses and makes eye contact once more, "I lied about my feelings for you. I was too afraid to admit that I'm falling in love with you." Her blue eyes flicker back and forth as if she's trying to read my expression, searching for some sort of response.

Her face falls as she drops her gaze to the ground again. "I understand, you don't need to say anything," She whispers as she takes another step back and turns to leave. Before she can, I grab onto her, pushing her up against the building wall before crashing our lips together.

Her eyes widen in response before they flutter shut, her body completely relaxing into my touch as I press the lengths of our bodies together, my thigh instantly sliding between her legs. We both ignore the fact that we're out in public on a rather busy street as her hands weave into my hair and I grab onto her hips. The kiss is bruising and passionate at first before we both slow down, taking our time in tasting one another. I let her scent and taste overwhelm me, something that I had been denied for two weeks. I didn't bother searching for comfort anywhere else during that time; no one could replace her.

When we break apart, her cheeks are flushed as she breathes heavily, her blue eyes frosty. "Come home with me," She whispers as she looks up at me, locking our eyes. I laugh softly in response, knowing full well what she was insinuating. Before I can say anything, she shakes her head. "No sex. I just want to fall asleep in your arms and wake up that way come morning."

I want to tell her that that's a pretty big step but then again I don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth. "You're not a cuddler," I tell her with a raised eyebrow.

Her lips curl up into a small smile as she grabs onto my empty hand and weaves our fingers together. "It seems like I'm doing a lot of things I don't normally do today," She says as she pulls me down the sidewalk. "One night can't hurt."

I shake my head as a wide smile covers my face. _One night._ "One night is what got us into this mess," I tell her as I chuckle, catching up with her so that we're walking next to each other as we walk down the street.

"This beautiful mess," She corrects as she bumps up against me, squeezing my hand. "I don't know where this is going to go," She admits as we continue walking down the sidewalk and toward her apartment. "But what I do know is that we've both been trying to deny our feelings since the beginning and that when I look at you, I want nothing more than to spend the day with you."

I squeeze her hand in response, understanding fully what she meant. I noticed from the beginning how her eyes always seemed to shine when she'd look at me, typically when she wasn't aware that I was looking back. And she was right, I had been trying to deny my feelings for her since the moment Elliot called me out on my white lies.

I lean over and give her a quick kiss on her cheek. "Our relationship was built on shiny eyes and white lies."

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**A/N: The ending is way too sappy for my personal liking but oh well, you guys seem to like happy endings. This is the end, so if you're reading this, thanks for sticking through with it.**


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